(I volunteer at a daycare. The daycare is very Christian, so we have a Christian radio station playing at all time. A song the teacher likes comes on. Note that it is a very slow “Praise the Lord and His angels”-type song.)
Teacher: “I like this song!”
Little girl #1: “Me too! Mommy has it on all the time!”
Teacher: “What about you, [Little girl #2]? Do you know this song?”
Little Girl #2: “No, but I know ‘We Will Rock You.’”
Teacher: “Um—”
Me: “Close enough.”

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1,196 Thumbs Up!)
(I overhear a little boy around five years old asking his mother for lots of expensive toys.)
Mother: “We can’t afford six. Just pick one and put the rest back.”
Boy: “Just tell daddy to stop drinking beer this month!”

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1,351 Thumbs Up!)
Small child: “Mommy! I just saw a fish that was as big as Aunt Karen!”
Mom: “There is NO fish that’s as big as Aunt Karen.”
Related:
Size Matters, Part 6
Size Matters, Part 5
Size Matters, Part 4
Size Matters, Part 3
Size Matters, Part 2
Size Matters

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1,008 Thumbs Up!)
(I’m refereeing a dodgeball game at a widely known indoor trampoline park. I am currently watching over a little kids game. The mother of a crying child approaches me.)
Mother: “Excuse me, but why is my son out?! Is he not allowed to play or something?”
Me: “Ma’am, your son was hit with the ball.”
Mother: “What do you mean?! That other kid clearly targeted my son!”
Me: “I’m sure he did…this is dodgeball.”
Mother: “I don’t get it.”
Me: “You have to dodge balls. If you are hit with a ball in dodgeball, you are out.”
Mother: “This is just stupid!” *leaves with her crying child*

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1,263 Thumbs Up!)
(A female customer who looks to be in her late thirties is at the counter asking about upcoming games releases for her 10-12 year old son, who is looking through the games on display. He runs up to the counter.)
Child: “Mummy, mummy, can I have this game?”
(He hands the 18+ rated game “Dead Island” to his mom, who looks at the back of the box.)
Woman: *disgusted* “You’re not having this! Look, it’s got a man hitting a zombie with an axe on the back! I’ve got no problem with you shooting people, but an axe?!”

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903 Thumbs Up!)