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    Category: Family & Kids

    Making A Spectacles Of One Self

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I am working in the emergency department. I am tending to an elderly woman who is accompanied by her middle-aged daughter. The woman’s daughter has just sent a text.)

    Daughter: “Well, I hope he can read what I typed, because I can’t see anything without my glasses.”

    Mother: “You do know that you have a pair of glasses on your head, don’t you?”

    (A look of embarrassment crosses the woman’s face, and her mother bursts out laughing hysterically. I smile and turn to the mother.)

    Me: “It’s nice when someone else does that for a change, isn’t it?”

    (The mother has a big smile on her face.)

    Mother: “Yes, it is!”

    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 6

    | Oahu, HI, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Love/Romance

    (My boyfriend and I are going shopping for my brother’s seventh birthday. A middle age customer walks up to us.)

    Customer: “Aww, isn’t that cute?”

    Me: “What is?”

    Customer: “Brother and sister shopping together. You both look like twins!”

    (My boyfriend laughs.)

    Me: “Sorry, but we aren’t related at all. We’re dating; you know, boyfriend and girlfriend.”

    Customer: “No, you’re not! You haven’t held hands or hugged each other. Show me!”

    Boyfriend: “Well, let’s not keep her waiting…”

    (I give him a kiss, which throws the customer into a rage.)

    Customer: “HAS THE WORLD GONE MAD?! THAT IS INCEST!”

    Related:
    From NotAlwaysRelated.com
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 5
    From NotAlwaysRomantic.com
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 4
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 3
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 2

    No Manners In Line Is Out Of Line

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Top

    (I am a customer. I approach a cashier, with my children in tow.)

    Me: “Howdy, do you have any cooking sherry? I didn’t see any on the floor.”

    Cashier: “Yes, we keep it up here.”

    Customer Behind Me: “Are you really holding up the line for alcohol?”

    Me: “You mean, am I a paying customer who waited in line, without harassing the other store-goers, and is now waiting for a product that is only attained at the front of the store?”

    Customer Behind Me: “Ugh, disgusting. And your kids are standing right there, too. You’re disgusting.”

    My Six-Year-Old Daughter: “She is not disgusting! You are, for being so rude! Didn’t your mommy teach you any manners?! Be patient and wait your turn just like everybody else!”

    (The next customer in line behind the rude customer joins in.)

    Customer #2: “Seriously, stop being a jerk, and wait you’re turn.”

    Customer Behind Me: “F*** this!”

    (The customer behind me walks out.)

    Cashier: “About time someone told him off. He’s a jerk to everyone he sees.”

    My Six-Year-Old Daughter: “That guy needs to learn some manners, or he’s not gonna have any friends!”

    Barking Up The Wrong Family Tree

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Money, Top

    (Note: I am a teenager.)

    Me: “Hey, what can I help you with today?”

    Customer: “I have these gift cards, and I would like to exchange them for cash.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I cant do that. It’s store policy, as gift cards have no monetary value.”

    (People are starting to line up behind the customer, and they are starting to get noticeably agitated, having to wait.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you have any idea who you’re speaking to?”

    Me: “Not even a clue.”

    Customer: “My father owns this store! Now give me my money, or I’ll have you fired!”

    (The owner of the store is in the back, so I call him out.)

    Me: “Boss, your daughter’s here to see you!”

    Boss: “Daughter? I don’t have a daughter.”

    (The customer’s face is growing red, and the people behind her start to laugh. I can tell she wants to run away, but she’s in too deep. My boss comes to the front to see what’s going on. My boss is an Indian man in his 60′s.)

    Boss: “What are you talking about?”

    Me: “This lady right here.”

    (The white customer in her early 20s dips her head, and runs out of the store.)

    Boss: “Maybe she forgot where her dad’s store is?”

    Playstation Meets Playboy

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Rude & Risque, Technology, Underaged

    (It is just after the release of the video game ‘Playboy Mansion’. In Australia, there is surprisingly no required age limit for the game; it comes with a recommendation only for 18+. A customer approaches the counter with a small boy beside her. She is carrying a copy of the game.)

    Me: “Good morning, just that today is it?”

    (I indicate the game, and the customer nods.)

    Customer: “Yup!”

    Me: “I just have to check that you are purchasing this either for yourself, or someone who is over 18. Though there is no legal requirement to be over 18, I must warn it has graphic content and adult themes.”

    Customer: “No, it’s for him, but it’ll be alright. He’s eight, but I’ve said it’s okay.”

    Me: “I must warn you this game is entirely inappropriate for someone so young.”

    (I detail the contents of the game. However, the customer doesn’t bat an eyelid.)

    Customer: “It’s still okay. I’d like to buy it for him.”

    (I cannot bring myself to cater to this customer, so the manager sells the game to her instead. The customer is about to leave, and I approach her.)

    Me: “If you view the game and you’re unhappy, you can return it to us within 30 days for an exchange.”

    (The customer is reasonably pleasant about this but keeps dismissing my concerns. The boy skips off happily with her. Two days later, she returns with the boy in tow again.)

    Customer: “I’ve come to return this game; I need to get something better for him. It’s not right for him at all.”

    Me: “Sure thing. I had a feeling you wouldn’t be happy with it once you saw the content of the game. Sometimes it’s hard to explain just how graphic some of these games can be.”

    Customer: “Nah, the game was fine, but you should have warned us about how much reading he’d have to do. There’s far too much to read, and he’s only eight. His reading’s not that good yet. There really ought to be warning stickers for this sort of thing. Have you got anything easier?”

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