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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Family & Kids

    Needs To Learn Copy-Right And Wrong

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Themed Giveaway, Top

    (We get reports from various companies for copyright infringement. When we do, the customer gets a note on their account. We call them, letting them know they’ve been caught and request that they stop. I had called this customer a week before and they informed me that they had an unprotected wireless point that they would secure. They have another notification, so I call them back.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [company name] again. We spoke last week.”

    Customer: “I remember; we’ve replaced the router and added a password to our wifi as of last weekend. It should be fixed.”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but we got another infringement notice yesterday.”

    Customer: “How is that possible?”

    Me: “I’m not sure; maybe you’re downloading something you don’t—”

    Customer: “We don’t download anything here!”

    Me: “I understand sir, but maybe we should check out the notice and see what is being downloaded?”

    Customer: “Okay, sure. But I’m telling you, I’m not downloading anything illegal.”

    Me: *pulls up the notice* “Umm… sir. It says here the content in question is rather… adult in nature.”

    Customer: “What?”

    (I read off the long, clearly niche pornographic title. I earn some looks from my co-workers.)

    Customer: “I am a good Christian father! I would never risk my marriage or my faith for pornography, especially not that perverted stuff. I can’t believe you’d accuse me of being a freak like that!”

    Me: “Sir, you said ‘father’. You wouldn’t by chance happen to have a son, would you?”

    Customer: “…yes.”

    Me: “He… wouldn’t by chance happen to have his own computer in his room, would he?”

    Customer: “Not anymore, thank you.”

    About To Get A Slice Of Life

    | ON, Canada | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to get this cake, please.” *points at one*

    Me: “Sure, would you like anything written on it?”

    Customer: “Yeah, can you put ‘Happy Birthday Daddy’?”

    Me: “Daddy?”

    Customer: “Yes, please.”

    Me: “Sure, just one second.”

    (I get my icing bags.)

    Me: “Okay, so that was ‘Happy Birthday Daddy’?”

    Customer: “Actually… could you just put ‘Happy Birthday Tom’?”

    Me: “‘Tom’?”

    Customer: “Yeah…” *pauses* “…I’ll tell him eventually.”

    (My heart melts. I don’t know how to react, so I just write on her cake and send her on her way. I never did find out how things turned out for that woman, but I wish her all the best.)

    Radiating A Feeling Of Thanksgiving

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Top, Transportation

    (I am a married father of three and money is tight. A few days before Thanksgiving, my truck develops a radiator leak. I really need my truck fixed on this particular Saturday. I find a local shop that is willing to take a look even though they are usually closed Saturdays.)

    Mechanic: “Okay, I found a pinhole leak in one of the side tanks on the radiator and should be able to fix it no problem. It will be about $45.”

    (I grimace at the cost, but have no choice.)

    Me: “Okay, do what you need to. I just need it fixed.”

    (After another 20 minutes…)

    Mechanic: “Well, I have good news and bad news. The hole is fixed but it turns out that the seal on the other side is leaking badly as well.”

    Me: “How much more will that cost to fix?”

    (He leans into the manager’s office and asks how much.)

    Manager: “That would bring it up to $65.00… maybe more, depending on how we have to repair it.”

    Me: “Well, go ahead and fix it. I really need the truck running today.”

    (The mechanic goes back to fix it. My phone rings and it’s a friend. )

    Friend: *on the phone* “How bad is the truck? How much will it cost?”

    (I proceed to tell him the truck’s condition and cost, and add…)

    Me: “…this really hurts because it’s coming out of our grocery money for the week.”

    (After my truck is fixed, the mechanic comes in to speak with the boss.)

    Mechanic: “Alright, it’s all fixed and ready to go. Boss? How much do I charge him?”

    Manager: *to me* “Where is your car parked? Front or back?”

    Me: “Out front.”

    Manager: *to the mechanic* “Take it out front and put it in his trunk for him. No charge.”

    Me: “What? Are you serious?”

    Manager: “As a heart attack. You go enjoy your Thanksgiving with your family, and Happy Holidays!”

    (In shock and disbelief, I leave the shop with the mechanic, load up with my son, and leave. It dawns on me five minutes into the drive I forgot to even say thank you! I went back the following Monday and thanked him profusely and took a stack of business cards with me. I now recommend them to anyone who has car troubles. And they say kindness is dead in our modern age.)

    Gift (Of Life) Box

    | Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Family & Kids

    Customer: “Do you guys sell watch gift boxes?”

    Co-worker: “Yes we do!” *she pulls one out* “Will this do?”

    Customer: “Hmm, no. I need something a bit bigger. I need one large enough to fit a pregnancy test!”

    (My co-worker and I are leaning down, looking for a larger gift box. It takes a minute for us to process what she says.)

    Co-worker: “Oh! Congratulations!”

    Customer: *looking teary-eyed and grinning widely* “Thanks so much! I am so excited!”

    (My co-worker found her a box, and gave it to her on the house!)

    Shaming Special On The Pre-Wedding Aisle

    | NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

    (I am in a grocery store with my two-year-old nephew. I am 22, and wearing my engagement ring.)

    Other Customer: “Hey, you!”

    Me: “Me?”

    Other Customer: “Yeah, you. You should be ashamed of yourself.”

    Me: “What?”

    Other Customer: “It’s bad enough that teenagers like you seem to think you can just sleep with people. Then you have kids and try to act like you could raise them!”

    Me: He’s—”

    Other Customer: “It’s things like this that show me that you have absolutely no respect for this country! The entire country is going down the tubes. It’s appalling to think that you would ever even consider having a child outside of wedlock.”

    (An employee comes into the aisle to stock things, but overhearing the other customer’s comments speaks up in my defense.)

    Employee: “Hey, are you going to even let her talk? She doesn’t have to, but I think she’s entitled to respond to the things you’re saying.”

    Other Customer: “You keep out of this. There is nothing she can say to make it any better.”

    Me: “Actually, there is. One, this is my nephew. Two, I’m 22, which means if he were my child, I would have been twenty when he was born. Third, his parents are married and have been since before he was even conceived. Fourth, before you start flying off about unmarried people, you may want to check their ring hand.” *I hold up my hand* “I’m engaged, but you couldn’t know I wasn’t married. Fifth, even if I was 17, and this was my child, and I wasn’t married, why would it be any of your business?”

    (The customer doesn’t say anything, and slowly walks away. I turn to the employee.)

    Me: “Thanks.”

    Employee: “No problem. That actually turned out as well as it possibly could have. I was mostly saying it so you could just say, ‘None of your business’. It’s even better that none of the things that she was accusing you of were true.”


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