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    Category: Family & Kids

    He Must Be Baked

    | NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I am with my family at a Chinese restaurant. My father has kept the waitress at our table for at least five minutes, trying to order what he wants. He is mostly speaking about the food itself, and then moving on. He finally thinks of something he wants.)

    Father: “Oh. I’ll have the salty fried pork with pepper. Do you have that?”

    Waitress: “No, but we have similar.”

    (My brother slides the menu to our father, and points at the baked salted pork.)

    Waitress: “You’ll have that?”

    Brother: “Yes, he will.”

    Father: “Wait, so not peppered?”

    Waitress: “No pepper.”

    Father: “Oh, okay, so it’s salty fried pork. I’ll have that.”

    Waitress: “It’s salted baked pork.”

    Father: “Yes, yes, I understand, but it’s fried right?”

    Waitress: “Baked.”

    Father: “Fried?”

    Waitress: “Baked.”

    Father: “Fried?”

    Waitress: “Baked.”

    Father: “Fried?”

    Waitress: “Baked.”

    Father: “Fried?”

    Waitress: “Yes.”

    Playing Gameboys

    | IL, USA | Family & Kids, Technology

    (I am in my local video game store, picking up a copy of ‘Devil May Cry’. I am the only female in the store, and since I can’t see well enough to get a driver’s license, my father has driven me here. The store is really busy, so after plucking a copy from the shelf, I browse for a bit. A little boy approaches me.)

    Boy: “Is that for your dad?”

    Me: “No, this is for me.”

    (The boy’s eyes widen in surprise.)

    Boy: “You play video games?”

    Me: “Yes, I do.”

    Boy: “But you’re a GIRL!”

    Me: “So? Girls play video games too, honey.”

    Boy: “But you like girly games, right?”

    Me: “Actually, no. I hate girly games. I prefer action games and action RPGs, like Devil May Cry, Castlevania, Final Fantasy, and Kingdom Hearts.”

    (The little guy’s eyes widen so much that I’m expecting them to pop out of his head. He turns to face his mother.)

    Boy: “Mom! Mom! There’s a girl that likes video games!”

    (The mom hurriedly grabs her son, checks out their games, and practically runs from the store. As soon as the door shuts behind them, everyone inside cracks up.)

    Store Clerk: *still laughing* “But you’re a GIRL!”

    The Mother Should Be Booked

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Top

    (I am in high school, and earn money by paging in a library in a low-income area. Pages do the ‘grunt work’ of a library—mostly putting away books and cleaning up after people. I spend a lot of time in the children’s section, and talk a lot with the kids.)

    Seven-Year-Old Girl: *showing me a picture book* “This book is really cool!”

    Me: “Is it? What’s it about?”

    Seven-Year-Old Girl: “It has dragons, and horses, and a bad guy, and fighting!”

    Me: “Wow, that sounds like a pretty good book. Are you going to check it out and take it home to read?”

    Seven-Year-Old Girl: “No, I can’t.”

    Me: “Why not?”

    Seven-Year-Old Girl: “My mommy can’t read, and she says that she doesn’t want us to read. She says that books are dumb!”

    Say Neigh To Demanding Customers

    | ME, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, Top

    (I work at a barn as a stable-hand, and keep my own horse there. My daughter comes to the barn after school, and if she helps with chores, I give her riding lessons on my horse. A customer approaches me while I’m giving her a lesson.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but what do you think you’re doing?!”

    Me: “Teaching my daughter how to ride.”

    Customer: “Well this is my daughter’s lesson time, and that’s her lesson horse!”

    (I pull out the lesson schedule.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but there are no lessons scheduled for this time.”

    Customer: “Yes there is! Now you get that grubby child off my baby’s horse before I get the manager!”

    Me: “I’m not going to tell my daughter that she can’t ride my horse.”

    (The customer storms off, and comes back with the manager.)

    Customer: “There she is! That b**** right there put her grubby child on my daughter’s lesson horse, and won’t leave the ring so she can have her lesson.”

    Me: “I’ve tried to explain to you already that there are no lessons scheduled for the rest of the day. That’s my horse, and she certainly isn’t a lesson horse.”

    Customer: “Do you hear how disrespectful she’s being? I demand you fire her for being so rude to me.”

    Manager: “You want me to fire my best hand for letting her daughter ride her horse on her own time, when there are no lessons planned?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 5

    | New York, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m working in the express lane, when a couple approaches the counter. Their son is about seven years old, and they have him sitting in the child seat of the cart.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

    Wife: “Good. Okay honey, help mommy and daddy put the things on the counter.”

    Boy: “Okay!”

    (The little boy promptly twists around in his seat, and begins to snatch things from the cart. He throws them onto the counter, and across the scanner. I have to chase a package of juice boxes that fly past me, onto the floor.)

    Me: “Okay sweetie, try putting them up here gently, okay? We don’t want the groceries to break, right?”

    Boy: “Nope!”

    (The husband is looking at the candy, and the wife is watching her son and her phone. The little boy then grabs a huge can of yams and throws it at me. It ends up hitting me in the cheek, knocking my glasses off and causing the can to fall to the floor. It makes a noise loud enough to draw the attention of the other customers and cashiers.)

    Cashier In The Other Line: “Oh, my God! Are you okay?!”

    Me: “Um, well…”

    Wife: “Oh! Isn’t he cute?! He wants to play baseball!”

    (After picking up my glasses, I can only stare at the woman like she is crazy. Thankfully, a supervisor sees what just happened, and takes over for me so I that I can put some ice on my face. Thankfully nothing is broken, but my cheek was black and blue for weeks!)

    Related:
    On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 4
    On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 3
    On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 2
    On The Need For Hazard Pay


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