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    Category: Family & Kids

    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 5

    | ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Top

    (I’m 18, and have been hospitalized for a severe case of mono. As a result of the illness, my throat is badly swollen and I can hardly speak. I’m on lots of painkillers. I’m sharing a room with a boy who swallowed a rock. The boy has been screaming since his mother left and his father can’t quiet him down.)

    Nurse: “Okay, [My Name], I’m just going to check your vitals.”

    Me: *whispering* “How much longer until I can have more pain medication?”

    Nurse: “Not for a while, sweetie.”

    (The nurse leaves. The boy’s father has been watching us the whole time.)

    Boy’s Father: “Listen, you little b****! Don’t you f****** gossip about me to the f****** nurses! You keep your f****** mouth shut, or I’ll shut it for you!”

    (I’m stunned, as I haven’t said a word to or about him. As I can’t move and can barely speak, I’m in tears and terrified. Not long after, my mom comes in to visit.)

    Mom: “Hey, [My Name]. How are you doing?”

    Me: *crying and whispering* “Mom, the dad of that boy screamed at me. He said to shut up, or he’d shut me up.”

    (My mom is silent, but clearly fuming. She leaves for a moment.)

    Boy’s Father: “WHAT DID I SAY?!”

    (Just then, my mom comes back with security in tow.)

    Mom: “Escort him from hospital grounds NOW.”

    Boy’s Father: “B****! You can’t tell me what to do! You aren’t the boss here! I’m twenty-f******-five!”

    Mom: “Actually, I AM the boss here! It’s my day off, but I’m head nurse on this floor, and if you EVER speak to my daughter ever again, I will have you arrested so fast that you won’t ever hear the sirens! And by the way, I’m forty-freaking-eight and I have the good sense not to let my kids eat rocks!”

    (The man was removed from hospital grounds and was banned from re-entering for 48 hours unless it was an emergency. I have the best mom in the world.)

    Related:
    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 4
    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 3
    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 2

    Checkouts Are Places For Change

    | Sandy, UT, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Money, Top

    (I am standing in line around midnight. In front of me is a pregnant girl, around 20 years old. She is wearing pajamas, and clearly looking as if she has seen better days. She also has a black eye, which is a little alarming to me.)

    Cashier: “Did you find everything alright?”

    Pregnant Customer: “Yes, thanks. Can you see if my card has anything on it before you ring it up?”

    Cashier: “No, sorry. I could ring things up one at a time and see if it’ll take for each one. If you don’t mind waiting for me to cash out the other three people in line, I’ll be more than happy to do that for you.”

    Pregnant Customer: “No, no, let’s just try. I hope the deposit has hit already.”

    (The cashier rings everything in, and the pregnant customer swipes the card. It declines.)

    Cashier: “Do you have another form of payment?”

    Pregnant Customer: “No…” *starts crying* “He must have already cancelled the card.”

    Cashier: “Cancelled the card?”

    Pregnant Customer: “My ex-boyfriend kicked me out tonight. He came home and said the baby couldn’t be his, hit me, and threw me out. He must have called and cancelled our food stamp card. I don’t even know where I’m going to put all this. A friend is letting me use her extra fridge until I can get an apartment.”

    (One of the customers in line behind me speaks up.)

    Customer Behind Me: “Ma’am, just put it on my ticket.”

    (I move out of the way so the customer behind me can push his cart forward. He clearly has $200 or more worth of food on his own, and the pregnant customer has about $150.)

    Cashier: “Sure.”

    Pregnant Customer: “No, no I can’t.”

    Customer Behind Me: “Honey, don’t lecture me. My mom was kicked out by my dad because he thought she was sleeping around on him. She worked two jobs to keep a roof over my head. I’m not letting some deadbeat a**-hole throw his girlfriend out because he has trust issues.”

    Pregnant Customer: “I can’t. It’s too much. I don’t have a job; I can’t pay you back.”

    Customer Behind Me: “Take my card. I’ve seen you in here a few times during regular shopping hours. You’re always very nice to the employees and everyone in line. I need a receptionist for my apartment complex on [street]. Come by tomorrow, and we’ll have an interview. I give discounts to my employees on their rent.”

    (By this time, the cashier has finished ringing in the items, and they’re bagged already.)

    Cashier: “Your total is $459.92.”

    (The customer behind me gently pushes past the pregnant customer. He swipes his card, enters his pin, and then hugs her.)

    Customer Behind Me: “Things do get better. See me tomorrow; I’m serious.”

    (Sir, wherever you are… You restored some of my faith in humanity. Thank you. Ma’am, wherever you are, I hope you and your baby have a great life, and you find someone to take care of you both and love you the way you deserve. I hope you got that job, but judging from how the man was talking, I’m sure you did!)

    Sunset Should Be Childs-Play

    | UK | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids

    (Every week during the summer, we have an evening where we open late with all sorts of activities, ending with a huge firework display. On these days the phone rings off the hook.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, [park name].”

    Customer: “Hello, I just wanted to check; is it today you have the fireworks?”

    Me: “Yep, that’s today! There are loads going on around the park all afternoon and evening.”

    Customer: “That’s great! What time are the fireworks?”

    Me: “We’re aiming to set them off around nine o’clock.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous! Why does everyone have fireworks so late?! I have young children! They’ll be in bed by then! You’re a children’s park; you should have them at about five so my children can see them!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s not dark until about nine.”

    Customer: “So?!”

    In Line And Out Of Line

    | Durban, South Africa | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Money, Top

    (I’m in line to pay. Customer #1 in front of me is about in his 40s, and very well-dressed in a suit and tie. Customer #2 in front of him seems to be a single mother with her child. I’m 25, and pretty shabbily dressed; wearing only faded jeans, an old, novelty Star Wars shirt, and have my long hair almost covering my eyes.)

    Customer #1: “Lady, can you hurry up! Some people are important and actually have places to be!”

    (Customer #2 is fumbling with her money. In her cart she only has basic groceries and what appears to be a birthday cake for her child. She mumbles something about not having enough money, and decides to leave the cake behind.)

    Customer #1: “Don’t waste everyone’s time if you can’t even pay for your s***! Or maybe you need another government handout that comes from my taxes?!”

    (At this point, I feel like I’ve got to step in.)

    Me: “Hey man, that’s enough!”

    Customer #1: “Who do you think you are? I’ll have you know I’m the [high profile position] at [large shipping company], and no one ever talks to me like that.”

    (Suddenly, I become much more respectful.)

    Me: “I’m so sorry, sir. I had no idea you were so important. Would you mind if I asked you for your business card?”

    (Customer #1 smugly hands me his card. I see he is, indeed, who he says he is.)

    Me: “And here’s my business card.”

    Customer #1: “Why the h*** would I want your—”

    (Customer #1 suddenly goes pale, as he notices that I am co-owner of [large shipping company].)

    Me: “Now that I know your name, I’ll be sure to phone your supervisor to ensure you’re put on probation. One more act like this and you’re fired.”

    (Customer #1 stammers for a bit, before practically running from the store. I end up paying for the mother’s cake, and even gave them a bit extra to buy the kid any toy from the store.)

    Raising A Voodoo Child

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Family & Kids, Musical Mayhem

    (I have been a music instructor for over three decades. An angry mom confronts me before her son’s drum lesson.)

    Angry Mom: “Why are you showing my son all of these heavy metal and rock songs to play drums to?”

    Me: “Because he asked me to. He seems to like that type of music.”

    Angry Mom: “He most certainly DOES NOT like that music. It’s overtly sexual, violent and demonic. Why can’t you show him good music? Instead of this Metallica and ACDC garbage.”

    Me: “Good music?”

    Angry Mom: “YES! Good music. The 60s. Jimi Hendrix. The Beatles. The Rolling Stones?”

    Me: “Maybe ‘Hey Joe,’ by Jimi Hendrix?”

    Angry Mom: “Exactly!”

    Me: “‘I’m just going down to shoot my old lady, I caught her messing around with another man….’ That ‘Hey Joe?’”

    Angry Mom: “Yes! The classics!”

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