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    Category: Family & Kids

    Putting The ‘R’ Into Refund

    | Largo, FL, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (I am working the box office with my manager. A large group of teenage girls dressed like they are going to a club get their turn to purchase tickets.)

    Manager: “Make sure you ID them, and let them know if they sneak in, they won’t get a refund.”

    (I acknowledge the manager’s comment, and turn to the teenage girls.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [theater]; how may I help you?”

    Girl #1: “Can we have tickets to see [R-rated movie]?”

    Me: “Do you guys have ID?”

    Girl #1: “No.”

    Me: “Then I am afraid I can’t sell you the tickets. It’s company policy that you have proper ID to see R-rated movies.”

    (The girls walk away angry. They come back a few minutes later after waiting in line again.)

    Girl #1: “Can we have tickets to see [G-rated movie]?”

    Me: “Sure, your total will be $32. If you try to sneak into the movie you wanted before this one, you will not get a refund. Here are your tickets, enjoy!”

    Girl #2: “Why does everyone think we are trying to sneak into a d*** R-rated movie?!”

    Girl #3: “I don’t know, but it’s getting really ANNOYING!”

    (Not even ten minutes later, the girls come storming out of the theater and toss their tickets up on the counter.)

    Girl #3: “We need refunds for this movie.”

    Me: “Why do you need a refund for this movie?”

    Girl #3: “Because, it already started.”

    Me: “Actually, this movie doesn’t start for another ten minutes.”

    Girl #3: “Well, I, uh…”

    Me: “So why do you need a refund?”

    Girl #3: “Because the cop wouldn’t let us in the movie!”

    Me: “You mean the cop that is standing by the auditoriums that have the R-rated movies, that are on the complete opposite side of the theater that has the movie you bought tickets for?”

    (All four girls give dumbfounded looks.)

    Me: “I am sorry; I can’t give you a refund.”

    (The girls start making a scene. My manager walks over.)

    Manager: “Listen, my employee did her job. She told you she wasn’t going to give you a refund if you tried to sneak into a movie, and you did exactly what she told you not to do. Now, you have two options: you can leave the theater and take your attitudes elsewhere, or I can call the cops and have them remove you from the premises. Which will it be?”

    (The girls turn and storm off.)

    Supergirl

    | Marshfield, WI, USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (Our store is running an exclusive movie screening promotion for ‘Man Of Steel’ over the summer. We receive two cardboard stand-ups of Superman. One of them is in direct line of our automatic doors on a windy day. The stand-up falls down. I am approaching the stand-up to put it up again when a little girl, about six or seven, runs up.)

    Little Girl: “Oh, no! Superman’s DEAD!”

    Me: “No, sweetie, he’s not dead. He’s just resting a bit. But I think it’s time for him to get back to work. Do you want to help me?”

    (The little girl nods. I bend down to lift Superman back up and she puts her hands under to help also. As she does, I hear her mutter to herself, as kids do when they are concentrating on something.)

    Little Girl: “Come on, Superman. Time to get back to work!”

    Mom Is Bugging Out

    | Monroe, CT, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (My customer is a young high-school kid wearing a Pink Floyd t-shirt, hemp necklace, torn jeans, and sandals. He usually comes to my checkout line because I don’t give him a hard time when he buys a ton of munchies with very red eyes. This time he looks surprisingly sober.)

    Me: “Evening, pal, how’s it going?”

    Customer: “Ugh, not so great.”

    (He proceeds to put 16 cans of bug spray on the counter.)

    Me: “Yikes, got a bug problem?”

    Customer: “No, but my mom thinks we do. She doesn’t realize she accidentally ate one of my, uh, you know, special cookies, and I have to play along so she doesn’t figure out it’s not real.”

    (Years later, I returned to the area to find him wearing a suit and tie as store manager!)

    Honest About His Scam

    | IL, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (An eight-year-old boy has been pulling the same scam about three days a week for almost a month. He comes to the checkout with a few items and is always around $2 short. He freezes like a deer in headlights when asked if he would like to put an item back or go get more money. He’s gotten the act down so well, almost every time another customer feels bad for him and offers him the $2.)

    Me: “Okay, the total is $12.12.”

    Child: “I only have a $10.”

    Me: “Do you want to put this back?” *holds up item* “It’s $2.19, so then you’d have enough.”

    Child: “Ummmm. I don’t know. My mom needs it. She said to get these six things.”

    Me: “You can go home and get the $2.12. I’ll hold these things here and you can come back to me and pay.”

    Child: “Ummmm… I don’t…”

    (Just then, a customer behind him speaks up.)

    Customer: “I’ll give it to him.”

    Me: “No. He does this all the time. We aren’t allowing other customers to pay anymore.”

    Customer: “It’s just $2.”

    Me: “Right, but he’s probably made $100 this month doing this same thing. We won’t allow any other customers to cover his groceries.” *turns to child* “You’ll need to go home and ask your mom what she wants you to do.”

    (About 10 minutes later, the boy returns. I figure the boy has been pocketing the money, but it turns out he hasn’t.)

    Child: “My mom said to get the money from another customer. She says they always give it to me, and why can’t I get someone to give it to me this time?”

    Chipping Away At A Translation

    | USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Theme Of The Month

    (I am eating lunch in the lobby of my store, having a sandwich and a bag of chips, when a Spanish-speaking family walks in with a three-year-old boy. As they order, he walks a few feet over to me and points at my bag of chips. I don’t speak any Spanish.)

    Little Boy: *pointing at my chips, saying something in Spanish*

    Me: “Sorry, sweetie, these are mine. Maybe your mommy can get you some?”

    (The little boy is pointing more furiously now, repeating a phrase I don’t understand.)

    Me: “I’ll let you have some of mine if your mommy says it’s okay. I don’t want to give you anything you’re not allowed to have.”

    (The little boy repeats the phrase again. This time, his teenage sister, standing in line, rushes over and pulls him away.)

    Sister: “I’m so sorry!”

    Me: “Oh, that’s okay! If it’s okay for him to have some he can—”

    (By this point she has dragged the little boy to the other side of the store, where his parents are paying. I finish my break and go into the back to put away my purse and grab my apron. My Spanish-speaking coworker rushes over to me.)

    Coworker: “Are you okay?”

    Me: “Yeah, why?”

    Coworker: “You didn’t hear what he was saying to you?”

    Me: “I figured he wanted some of my chips.”

    Coworker: “Yeah, then he started calling you a f****** a**-hole!”

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