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  • Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 6
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    Category: Family & Kids

    Pregnant With Potential

    | Sarasota, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Money, Top

    (I’m stocking shelves. A customer has been browsing the same aisle for quite some time. She is visibly pregnant, and looks as though she has been crying. She’s flipping through an envelope full of coupons and scrutinizing items before putting them back on the shelf. Another customer comes down the aisle and seems to pay her close attention for a moment. The second customer leaves the aisle but then comes back a few minutes later and hesitantly walks up to the pregnant customer.)

    Nice Customer: “Excuse me. I may be way out of line, and please feel free to tell me to mind my own business if I am, but… are you afraid you’re going to have trouble paying for your groceries?”

    Pregnant Customer: “Actually, yes I am. How did you know?”

    Nice Customer: “A few years ago, I had a really difficult pregnancy. I was too sick to work and lost my job. It was a real struggle to make ends meet. I used to spend hours at the grocery store with every coupon I could find trying to save every penny I could. Looking at you was like looking in the mirror. Listen, I just went and checked out, and I came in a little under my weekly grocery budget. I know it’s not much, but I’d really like to give this to you.”

    (She hands the pregnant woman a $20 bill. The woman promptly bursts into tears.)

    Pregnant Customer: “You have no idea how much this means to me. My husband just left me for another woman. I have no idea how I’m going to support myself and my kid. My mother and brother died this year, and I have no one to lean on.”

    Nice Customer: “After the hard times I went through, things got a lot better for me. It may sound like a cliché, but I believe you’ll get through this and be stronger than ever. Just hang in there, okay?”

    Pregnant Customer: “Do you think maybe I could give you a hug?”

    Nice Customer: “Of course.”

    (The two women embrace for a long time. When they pull apart, they both wipe away tears. They don’t see, but so do I.)

    Placebo Me, Part 7

    | Victoria, BC, Canada | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (A mother and her six-year-old child approach the concession at around 7:00 PM.)

    Child: “I want a coke!”

    Mother: “No, sweetie, you can’t have caffeine. Would you like some root beer instead?”

    Child: “Okay!”

    Me: “Oh, actually, this brand of root beer does have caffeine.”

    Mother: “Shush! Work with me here.”

    Me: “Um… okay?”

    (I proceed to make the drink. The child wanders a short distance away, looking at a poster.)

    Me: “So, why do you not want him to know it has caffeine?”

    Mother: “Well, it’s all psychological, like a placebo. I don’t want him up all night!”

    Related:
    Placebo Me, Part 6
    Placebo Me, Part 5
    Placebo Me, Part 4
    Placebo Me, Part 3
    Placebo Me, Part 2
    Placebo Me

    Taking Stupidity To New Heights, Part 3

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Family & Kids, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (I work on the ride with the highest height requirement in the park. I am the ‘grouper’—basically I assign the guests to where they sit for the ride, and I am the final say on whether children are tall enough.)

    Me: “Hi buddy, could you come stand on this yellow square for me? Nice and tall like a soldier.”

    (The child is clearly too short.)

    Me: “I’m so sorry, but he is too short to ride.”

    Mother: “Please let him ride! All of his other friends have ridden this.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; he is too short to ride.”

    Mother: “Please, I promise he’s not scared; he won’t cry on the ride.”

    Me: “Ma’am, the height stick doesn’t measure courage; it measures height. Your son is too short; I’m sorry.”

    Mother: “But he wants to go so badly; he’s been asking all day.”

    Me: “Ma’am, your son could come flying out because he’s too short.”

    Mother: “OH MY GOD, REALLY?!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. The height requirement is a safety issue. That’s why we take it so seriously.”

    Mother: “Oh, I just thought you were mean!”

    Related:
    Taking Stupidity To New Heights, Part 2
    Taking Stupidity To New Heights

    Parental Guidance

    | Seattle, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Top

    (I am a cashier at an office supply chain. A man and his teenage son come up to my register. Our PIN pads are very clearly labelled with instructions.)

    Me: “Hello, sir, did you find everything all right?”

    Customer: “Yes, everything was fine.”

    (He runs his card through.)

    Me: “Oh, sorry, the machine makes you wait until the end to slide your card. It’ll be just a second.”

    Customer: “Ah, okay.”

    (The son points to the label on the pad that says ‘PLEASE WAIT FOR GREEN LIGHTS TO SLIDE CARD’.)

    Customer: “…ah.”

    Me: “All right, your total is [price]; you can go ahead and slide now.”

    (He slides his card and puts it back in his wallet.)

    Me: “Oh, I just need to see your card numbers for a second if it’s credit.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay.”

    (He hands over his card. His son points out the label that says ‘FOR CREDIT, PLEASE HAND CARD TO CASHIER’. The customer turns to his son.)

    Customer: “You’re making fun of me for not reading directions, aren’t you?”

    Son: “Kind of.”

    Prices Are Frozen

    | OH, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Money

    (I work at an ice-cream stand. A herd of small children come up to the counter. None are older than eight years old.)

    Child: “Umm, miss, how much is that?”

    Me: “How much is the cone? Or how much is one scoop on the cone?”

    Child: “How much is the cone?”

    Me: “Well, this cone is technically free. If you get one scoop on the sugar cone, then you only pay for the scoop of ice-cream.”

    Child: “Okay, one sec.”

    (All the children giggle, then run to a woman nearby. They chat for a bit, and then they run back.)

    Child: “How much for the sugar cone?”

    (I tell them, and they again run back to the woman standing nearby. They repeat this charade a few more times by asking the exact same questions, until they all finally order. Each one of them orders one scoop of ice-cream on the sugar cone. Their total comes out to about $30.The woman nearby later comes up and cuts in front of six customers.)

    Woman: “Can I see a receipt for my order?”

    Me: “Sorry, your kids paid in cash, and didn’t want the receipt; I threw it away.”

    Woman: “Okay, well my kids told me that you told them that one scoop on a sugar cone was free. They all got one scoop on a sugar cone. WHY DID THAT COST $30?!”

    Me: “I told them that the cone was free, but the scoop itself was [price].”

    Woman: “That’s not what they told me.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I did tell them that.”

    Woman: “Wow. You must be the biggest idiot if you cannot convey the price of ice-cream to children!”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am.”

    (She stands there glaring at me. The next two customers are a couple of guys, who then come up to the register to pay for their order.)

    Guy #1: “Who the h*** hands their kid a 50, and sends them up to an ice-cream stand?”

    (The woman hears him, and stares at him with her jaw dropped.)

    Guy #2: *mocking the woman* “Where is my receipt?! Why are you so dumb?! Why did I have children?!”

    (The woman scoffs loudly, and storms off.)

    Me: “That was awkward.”

    Guy #2: “That was hilarious! She was such a b**** to you!”

    Guy #1: “I don’t think you did anything wrong!”

    (He tips me $20, smiles, then walks away with his friend.)


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