Category: Family & Kids

Bored To Death At School

| Long Island, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

(I’m working as a cashier when a man and his young daughter (about nine or ten) come in. The girl looks upset.)

Me: *to the girl* “Hi, there! How was school?”

Girl: “I HATE school!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. What don’t you like about it?”

Girl: “Everything, except for lunch and recess.”

Me: “Well, what DO you like? What interests you?”

Girl: *looking me right in the eye and smiling* “DEATH!”

(Needless to say, I was speechless.)

Sweet Sixteen Is A Bitter Surprise

| Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

(When I was sixteen, I was the only girl working at this particular hardware store. While I was scanning another customer’s purchases, and old man slides behind me at the register and whispers in my ear.)

Customer: “I didn’t find what I wanted, but that’s okay.”

(I jerk away from him, because he was quite close.)

Me: “Oh… I’m sorry, sir.”

Customer: *takes my left hand and caresses my ring finger* “Tsk, tsk. Boys don’t know anything these days. A girl like you should already be snapped up.”

Me: “I’m 16.”

Customer: *drops my hand abruptly* “Have a nice day.”

Cannibalism Is Child’s Play

| WV, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

(I’m stocking in an aisle in which a customer is also shopping. From a few aisles away comes the high pitched scream of a child. The customer turns and smiles at me.)

Customer: “That child should have been eaten at birth.”

Me: “…”

Doesn’t Want To Provide Proof

| East Lothian, Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Religion

(An elderly Muslim woman and her niece, who is in her 30s, are regular customers. They are both very nice people and are always friendly. Today the niece is in on her own and approaches the checkout.)

Niece: “Is my aunt in?”

Me: “I haven’t seen her.”

Niece: “Is her car in the car park?”

(I look as far as I can into the store car park.)

Me: “I can’t see it.”

Niece: “Good. Can I have a litre-bottle of [Cheap Brand] vodka, please.”

Creepiness Just Hit The Motherlode

| DC, USA | Family & Kids, Spouses & Partners, Theme Of The Month

(I have just finished helping a customer complete a change to his wireless plan.)

Customer: “Wow, thank you, [My Name]. You have a nice voice, you know that? How old are you?”

Me: “Well… I’m 26, sir.”

Customer: “Hoo wow, that’s way too young. Is your mom married?”

Me: *kind of chuckling nervously* “Yes. Yes, she is.”

Customer: “… Happily?”

Me: “…”

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