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    Category: Family & Kids

    Ah, Mothers, Part 8

    | Boston, MA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

    (I am a student, and I babysit for money. On Mondays, I take the little boy I watch to the playground for a few hours and helicopter around him in case he hurts himself. A mother at the park approaches me.)

    Mother: “You know, I just want to tell you: I see you here every Monday and I think it’s just great that you are such a hands-on young mother.”

    Me: “Oh! I’m not his mother! I’m just his babysitter. But thank you anyway!”

    Mother: “Sweetie, you don’t need to be embarrassed! You should embrace being a great mom, especially at such a young age. I can’t even imagine what its like for you as a single mom in your early 20s!”

    Me: “Uhm, really, I am not his mother. I am just his babysitter. But I’m flattered you think I am doing a great job caring for him!”

    (The mother walks away to the sand box area, where other mothers are sitting just within ear shot.)

    Mother: “You ladies will not believe this! That girl over there is trying to claim that that baby is not hers! Some people! I wonder if her parents have brainwashed her in to thinking it’s their baby. There are some really crazy people out there huh?”

    Related:
    Ah, Mothers, Part 7
    Ah, Mothers, Part 6
    Ah, Mothers, Part 5
    Ah, Mothers, Part 4
    Ah, Mothers, Part 3
    Ah, Mothers, Part 2
    Ah, Mothers

    Some Boys Are Made Of Sugar And Spice

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Language & Words

    (I am waiting for a hair cut. Next in the queue is a boy that can’t be older than four or five.)

    Little Boy: “I want you to cut my hair spicy!”

    Hairdresser: “…’spicy?’”

    Little Boy: “Yeah, spicy! Like, super spicy!”

    Hairdresser: “…don’t you mean ‘spiky?’”

    Little Boy: “That too!”

    In Need Of Potty-Mouth Training

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Language & Words

    (I’m a cashier at a large store, and it’s nearly the end of my shift. Its fairly busy, and the customer I’m checking out is putting in her information for the check she’s writing.)

    Me: “Okay, go ahead and press ‘okay,’ and then sign.”

    Customer: “Alright.”

    (A couple comes up behind her with a three-year-old boy in the cart, and starts loading their items on the conveyor belt.)

    Young Boy: “F*** off!”

    Customer: “Excuse me!?”

    Young Boy: “F*** off! F*** off!”

    Customer: “Ma’am, shouldn’t you do something about your son’s mouth?”

    (The mother and father look shocked.)

    Mother: “Oh, h*** no! My son can say whatever he wants to some uppity b****!”

    (The customer looks surprised and hurt, and walks off after I give her the check and receipt. The manager comes over.)

    Manager: “Your son needs to stop yelling that to other customers in line.”

    Mother: “H*** NO!”

    Manager: “Then you can leave.”

    (The mother makes a fuss and leaves, while watching me like I have done something wrong. Afterwards, the manager turns to me.)

    Manager: “You wanna go home early?”

    Me: “Absolutely.”

    Wait For The Waiter

    | Erie, PA, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am seated a couple tables down from a mother with her four-year-old daughter. The daughter asks to go to the restroom, and is about to bounce out into the aisle when her mom grabs her arm.)

    Mother: “Honey, look right there. Who’s that?”

    Daughter: “Waitress.”

    Mother: “And what’s she carrying?”

    Daughter: “Tray.”

    Mother: “And do you think she could see you with that great big tray in the way?”

    (The little girl’s eyes go very wide, and she shakes her head.)

    Mother: “You need to watch out and not get in the way of the people who work here, sweetheart. You could get hurt, and they could get in trouble for hurting you, even if it was an accident. Understand?”

    (The little girl nods hard, and carefully looks both ways before starting for the bathroom. The waitress, who was bringing me my food, looks shocked.)

    Waitress: “That never happens. Never.”

    Me: “I bet you that mom waited tables at some point.”

    (The waitress asks when she stops by to check on that family, and later tells me the mother was a waitress for three years in college, and nearly got sued for splashing hot coffee on customers when a pair of kids playing tag in the aisle tripped her!)

    Kids Don’t Want To Be In Deep Trouble

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I am about 12 years old. I am on vacation with my family. There is no pool at the hotel in which we are staying, but the hotel staff have told us that they have a deal with the health club next door, and guests could use their pool. While my dad is in a work meeting, my mom takes my 10- and 6-year-old brothers and I to swim in the health club pool.)

    Mom: “Hello! We’re here from [hotel] to use the pool!”

    Receptionist: “You can’t use the pool.”

    Mom: “Excuse me? Over at [hotel], they told me that we were allowed to come over here and use the pool!”

    Receptionist: “Well they were wrong. Guests can only use the pool on weekends, and even then, we don’t allow children.”

    Mom: “Well they told us we could use the pool, so would you mind checking with someone else?”

    Receptionist: “Ugh. I don’t need to check with anyone else! You aren’t allowed to use the pool.”

    Mom: “Well, we came to use the pool, so we’re going to use the pool! Come on, kids!”

    (At this, my mom, who has my 6-year-old brother by the wrist, starts MARCHING towards where she assumes the pool is. My 10-year-old brother and I just stand there in shock.)

    Mom: “Where is the pool?!”

    Receptionist: “You CAN’T use the pool!”

    (My mom has turned around, and notices that my brother and I aren’t following her.)

    Mom: *to us* “What are you doing?! Come ON!”

    (My brother and I just stand there, shaking our heads. Eventually realizing we weren’t going to follow her willingly, she charges toward us and we run out the door. Eventually, we go to the nearby mall instead, and she yells at us the whole way.)

    Mom: “Why didn’t you come with me?! ‘Children, obey your parents!’ It’s in the Bible!”

    Me: “Yes, but you were telling us to do something wrong! We weren’t gonna follow you when you were telling us to do something against the rules!”

    Mom: “But she was wrong, and very rude about it!”

    Me: “But she was in charge, and we still have to listen to her, until someone else tells her she’s wrong!”

    10-Year-Old Brother: “Yeah! We weren’t gonna follow you, because we don’t wanna go to Hell like bad people!”

    6-Year-Old-Brother: “At least you guys had a choice! She was gonna drag me down with her whether I liked it or not!”

    (At this, we all start laughing, including my mom. My mom is still not the best customer, but at least she’s never done anything like this since!)


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