Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Using The Lord’s Name Doesn’t Deliver
    (1,792 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Family & Kids

    Taking Shots At Her Kids

    | Canada | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (My store serves a variety of health-drinks. Some of these are concentrated and fairly potent, so we serve them in the form of a ‘shot,’ although they don’t contain any alcohol. A customer comes in with two rowdy young children and orders one of our shots. Her kids are running around and shouting in the background.)

    Customer: “I’m taking them back-to-school shopping today, and—STOP FIGHTING, JUST STOP—sorry.”

    Coworker: “Here’s your shot ma’am!”

    Customer: “Alright kids. Mommy’s going to take her shot now! At 10:30 in the morning! What am I doing with my life? At least it’s just wheatgrass…”

    Watered Down Purchase

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

    Coworker: “Here they come.”

    Me: “Who?”

    Coworker: “The ‘Drink Ladies From Hell.’”

    (Five women and their five-year-old daughters enter. The kids are wearing ballet outfits, and clearly have just come from dance lessons.)

    Woman: “Five waters, to go, please.”

    (We fill up five Styrofoam cups of water, at no charge. The women plant themselves at a table and talk for about an hour. The kids run wild through the restaurant, pulling napkins from other tables, spilling salt and pepper, and just generally making a mess. They do this every week for more than a year. To my knowledge, they have never spent any money with us.)

    He’s Got The Bear Necessities

    | MN, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (A little boy, around five or six, comes into my work with his parents. He has a scab below his eye.)

    Me: “Hey, buddy! What happened to your eye?”

    Boy: *looking down, embarrassed* “I fell off a chair.”

    (I lean down, and whisper to him just loud enough for his parents to hear.)

    Me: “Just tell people you got in a fight with a bear, and WON!”

    Boy: *lights up* “Yeah! Dad, can I say that?”

    Dad: “Well, that’s what happened, right? You got in a fight with a bear and WON!”

    Boy: “YEAH!”

    Didn’t Read The Signals

    | WA, USA | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I overhear a library patron talking to his small daughter.)

    Patron: “You’re turning five today; do you know what that means?”

    Daughter: “Uh…”

    Patron: “Do you know what you finally get today? It’s so exciting!”

    Daughter: “A pink Nintendo DS?!”

    Patron: “What? Uh, no. We’re getting you a library card.”

    Me: “…weeee! Happy birthday!”

    Drowning In Incompetence

    | Colorado Springs, CO, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I observe an exchange between a lifeguard, a mother, and the manager. The life guard has just jumped in and saves a three year old from drowning.)

    Mother: “Why did you just grab my kid?”

    Lifeguard: “He had wandered too deep and couldn’t touch the bottom; I pulled him out because he was drowning.”

    Mother: “He was just playing. He was perfectly fine.”

    Lifeguard: “Ma’am, his head was under water and he could not breathe. ”

    Mother: “I DEMAND to see your manager!”

    (The manager, who has witnessed the whole thing, walks over and takes the mother to his office. After about 10 minutes he returns and begins talking to the lifeguard.)

    Manager: “Our business is all about serving our members and what you did is unacceptable.”

    Life Guard: “You mean saving that kids life?”

    Manager: “Yes, the mother says he was just playing and you ruined his fun.”

    (The lifeguard is understandably speechless, so I feel the need to interject.)

    Me: “Sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to congratulate this lifeguard on saving that kid’s life.”

    Manager: “He wasn’t drowning; it was just a drill.”

    Me: “Are you kidding?! The kid was under water, flailing, and unable to breathe!”

    Manager: “Really?”

    Lifeguard & Me: “YES!”

    Manager: “Oh, sorry.”

    (The manager walks away.)

    Me: “You need to find a new job.”

    Lifeguard: “No kidding.”


    Page 41/144First...3940414243...Last