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    Category: Family & Kids

    Allow Me To (Mind)Read You The Menu

    | Solon, OH, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (It’s a very busy night, and I am currently waiting on five tables. My current customer is an older male.)

    Me: “Sir, what can I get for you tonight?”

    Customer: “Oh, you know.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Oh, you know what I want.”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry. I don’t.”

    (The customer looks at his son for help.)

    Son: “Dad, you have to tell her what you want to eat.”

    Customer: “She KNOWS what I want.”

    Son: “Just order some food Dad. She isn’t a mind reader.”

    Customer: “Steak.”

    Me: “What kind, sir? We have sirloin, filet, t-bone—”

    Customer: “Oh, you know.”

    (This proceeds for about five minutes, selecting his steak, the temperature, and sides. Finally I get to the son, who has been deciphering the conversation.)

    Me: “And for you, sir?”

    Son: “… I forgot.”

    Great Minds Think Alike

    | GA, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am working in a fast food sub shop when a nice regular walks in. Behind in line are a small child and his mother.)

    Me: “A cheesesteak sandwich with no onions and a medium drink, [Regular]?”

    Regular: “As always.” *pays and leaves*

    Small Child: “You knew exactly what that guy wanted! Do you READ MINDS?! Tell me what I want to eat!”

    (The mother mouths to me behind her son’s back.)

    Me: “You want a… peanut butter and jelly sandwich!”

    Small Child: “Well… what kind of jelly do I want?”

    (The mother mouths to me again.)

    Me: “Hmm… grape!”

    Small Child: “Wow, you do read minds! Mommy, she reads minds!”

    The Father Of All Bad Examples

    | MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

    (I work at an indoor children’s play place. Leaving with kids who aren’t yours could be a problem, so we stamp a different number on every family’s hand, You can’t leave with a child who has a separate number. I am working the front counter where I have to stamp a number on the family’s hands, work the register, answer the phone, and check family’s hands to let them out the door. Sometimes it’s overwhelming working by yourself.)

    Me: *answering phone* “Thank you for calling [Indoor Play Area]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “I’d like to get a birthday party room for my son.”

    Me: “Okay, give me the date and I’ll start looking up times for you.”

    (As I am looking up times for the caller, an enraged father comes up to me.)

    Father: “HEY! WHERE’S MY SON!?”

    Me: *caught completely off guard * “What!?”

    Father: “WHERE IS MY SON?! YOU LET MY SON WALK OUT THE FRONT DOOR! WHERE THE H*** IS MY SON?”

    Me: “Sir, the door that you go out of is locked and I have been keeping an eye on this door. I’m sure your son is still in here and is in the the [play area] somewhere.”

    Father: “YOU LET MY SON OUT THIS DOOR! IS HE IN THE PARKING LOT? IF HE GETS HIT, I’M KICKING YOU’RE A**! HE GETS HIT, I’M SUING YOU!”

    (Some back and forth goes on like this for a minute. I am almost ready to go into the parking lot to find his son when some other father in the [play area], actually playing with his child and keeping an eye on him, speaks up.)

    Other Father: “Hey [Father], isn’t this your son?”

    (The father looks up and sees his son directly above us in the [play area] watching this whole little episode. He looks back at me, doesn’t say a word, and walks away. I sit there for a few seconds, collecting myself.)

    Caller: “Is someone yelling at you?”

    Me: “Oh, shoot. Sorry, ma’am. I completely forgot you were still on the phone.”

    Caller: “Haha, that’s quite all right. That guy is kind of a d***.”

    (I set up the birthday party, and then went on working. I’m closing this night, too, so I have the distinct pleasure of having to check this father’s hand to make sure it’s his son. They finally decide to leave after a while. As they walk up to the door.)

    Me: “Excuse me, sir, but I have to check your hands to make sure this is your son.”

    (They show me their numbers and he is, in fact, this boy’s father.)

    Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”

    (The father never said a word to me or made eye contact. What a great example of how to be a man he is setting for his son.)

    The Return: Uncut

    | Australia | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Themed Giveaway

    (I’m getting my hair trimmed. Beside me is a four-year old boy, who’s just finishing his own haircut.)

    Boy: *scowling* “I don’t like my new haircut! Return it!”

    Mother: “… Return it?”

    Boy: “Yeah! You said that if I didn’t like my new haircut, that they could change it. Like when we changed my red shirt at [Clothing Store] for the green shirt! I want it back the way it was! Return it!”

    (Luckily my haircut was finished. I left while the mother was trying to explain to the increasingly unhappy little boy the difference between an exchange and a change, and why they couldn’t return his haircut.)

    Couldn’t Really Blame Him For Frying

    | NY, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I’m at a public pool that has pretty lenient employees at the “Snack Shack.” It should be noted that at the Shack, the customer pays BEFORE receiving their food.)

    Employee: “Fries are ready!”

    Little Boy: “My dad ordered those.” *takes fries and runs away*

    (A few minutes later…)

    Man: “Hi, I ordered my fries a while ago. Are they ready yet?”

    Employee: “Uh, yeah. Your son just came by and already took them.”

    Man: “What? I don’t have a son…”

    Employee: *widens eyes* “Wait… What? That little lucky punk! He stole— argh. Sorry, I’ll get you your fries. Ugh…”


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