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    Category: Family & Kids

    Honesty Is A Gift

    | WI, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids

    (I work at a small museum that has a proportionally small gift shop. A girl who looks to be about seven years old walks up to the checkout.)

    Me: “Hello, how may I help you today?”

    (The only thing she’s holding is a silly little fortune teller fish made of thin plastic that costs 50 cents. It should also be noted that she looks terrified yet determined.)

    Customer: “Hey, um, I actually wasn’t planning on buying anything, but I was looking at this fish thing and messing with it and then it ripped. And I don’t have any money with me. So… um…”

    Me: “Oh, that’s so sweet of you! I know plenty of people who would have just stuck that in their pockets and walked right out. You know what, I’ll take care of that for you, and I’ll even give you a free gift card for being so honest!”

    (The poor kid is so relieved it makes me laugh.)

    Customer: “Oh, thanks, ma’am! I was so scared!”

    Me: “No problem! It’s honest people like you that are going to go far in life! Have a good day, honey!”

    (Totally made my day!)

    Bad Re-action Figure

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

    (I am browsing the board games in the toy aisle. I am on the border of the action figures, and the dolls aisles. A mother and young daughter walk by.)

    Mother: “Boys have so much cooler toys.”

    Daughter: “What?”

    Mother: “Don’t you want a boy toy?”

    Daughter: “No!”

    Doing A Number On The Wrong Number

    | UK | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (Our home phone number is only one digit different from a local supermarket. We get about one call a month intended for them. I’m about 14 years old.)

    Me: “Hello?”

    Caller: “I have a complaint.”

    Me: “Uh… this isn’t—”

    Caller: “You are all incompetent! Why is my delivery so late?”

    Me: “Look this is a private number—”

    Caller: “I have friends coming over! I’m hosting a dinner party, and I have no food because you are all useless!”

    Me: “I’m sorry but—”

    Caller: “I want to speak to your manager! I want—”

    (I give up and hang up. The phone rings almost immediately.)

    Caller: “HOW DARE YOU RANG UP ON ME, YOU B****!”

    (I hang up again. The phone rings again.)

    Caller: “GIVE ME YOUR SUPERVISOR RIGHT F****** NOW! I’M GOING TO HAVE YOUR JOB, YOU LITTLE S***!”

    Me: “Oh, you want to speak to Mum or Dad?”

    Caller: “…what?”

    Me: “Like I tried to tell you: this isn’t [shop]; this is a home number.”

    Caller: *very small voice* “…What?”

    Me: “This isn’t [supermarket].”

    Caller: “But… but… I called them! WHY ARE YOU ANSWERING THEIR PHONE!?”

    (I hang up again, and tell my dad he is answering if she calls back. She does. It is a very short conversation.)

    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 5

    | USA | Family & Kids, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (The new ‘Grand Theft Auto’ game has just been released, and my coworker and I have been very adamant on informing all parents of the content, going so far as to read off the ESRB rating site as needed to make sure they’re alright with the game. A 14-year-old boy and his mother come in.)

    Son: “Yeah, I’m here for the new GTA game.”

    Me: “Alright. Just to check, ma’am, are you alright with the M rating on this? It’s got a lot of objectionable content including—”

    (I read off the back of the case.)

    Mother: “…I don’t know.”

    Son: “It’s fine!”

    Me: “According to the people who rate these, there’s also male genitalia in a non-sexual context involving cult members and necrophilia. There’s also a torture sequence.”

    Mother: “No! Absolutely not! We’re not getting it.”

    Son: “YES WE ARE! YOU’RE GOING TO GET THIS FOR ME!”

    Mother: “No. We’re leaving.”

    Son: “I’M BUYING IT!” *looks to me expectantly*

    Me: “She is your mother, and she said no. I’m not able to sell this to you.”

    Son: *to mother* “YOU CAN’T TELL ME NO! YOU’RE GOING TO GET IT! THIS IS A F****** WASTE OF TIME! I’LL JUST COME BACK WITH DAD AND HE’LL GET IT FOR ME!”

    Mother: “You do not use that language with me! That’s it, we’re leaving. NOW!”

    (The mother storms off, forcing the son to leave. I turn to my boss and other customers who are staring after them in shock.)

    Me: “And that, right there, is why we make sure to advise on the content.”

    Related:
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 4
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 3
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 2
    Grand Theft Innocence

    Sea Of Electricity

    | NV, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I’m handing out inner tubes for a popular water slide. Several young men come up; one of them has a tattoo on his side that makes it look like his skin is peeling away to reveal mechanical inner workings. Shortly after they get in line, two little girls come up. They stare at the tattooed man for a few moments, and then one taps him on the leg.)

    Girl #1: “Are you sure you can go in the water?”

    Tattooed Man: “Uh… I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

    Girl #1: “But what about that?” *points to his tattoo* “My mommy says electric stuff can’t get wet.”

    Tattooed Man: *grinning* “Oh, don’t worry. I’m an underwater explorer robot. I’m built for that stuff.”

    Girl #2: “So you won’t break? Even if you get water all inside you?”

    Tattooed Man: “Nope!”

    Girls #1 & #2: *gaping at him* “Wow…”

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