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    Category: Family & Kids

    A Detergent Deterrence

    | RI, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (The market I work at keeps the packages of detergent pods on the middle shelf. A customer sees where they are, and flips out.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, miss?!”

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Is there anyone I can talk to about the placement of the detergent pods?”

    Me: “Our manager isn’t in right now. If you want, I can give you his name so you can bring the matter up with him at a later date.”

    Customer: “I want you to do something about it now! These are poisonous to young children. If a child were to open one of these and eat one in the store, you would have a major lawsuit on your hands!”

    Me: “We’ve never had an issue with the placement of the product before, but I could see if the acting manager can do something about it.”

    (I go to page the acting store manager to the aisle. When I return to the aisle, the customer is nowhere to be seen, but there is a young girl trying to open one of the containers. Upon seeing me the young child drops the container on the floor causing them to spill everywhere.)

    Child: “I’m sorry!”

    (As if on cue, the customer comes flying into the aisle.)

    Customer: “See what I mean?! It’s a good thing you were here to stop this little girl before she ate one! I can’t imagine what would have happened if you hadn’t come into the aisle when you had! See how easy it is for a child to get into them?!”

    Child: “But Mommy, you told me to open it!”

    (The customer turns beet red, grabs her daughter, and sprints from the aisle. Thankfully she is stopped by the acting manager who had heard the entire exchange. It turns out that the woman had pulled the same stunt at several other markets in the area to get some form of compensation. She was forced to pay for the detergent pods in the end.)

    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 6

    | Carlisle, England, UK | Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Technology, Top, Underaged

    (I am 21 years old, and a huge ‘Pokémon’ fan. I notice that my receipt for the new Pokémon game is wrong, so I go in to check what happened. At the counter next to me is a middle aged woman buying ‘Grand Theft Auto 5′ for her young son, who is no older than nine. The game is intended for 18-year-olds minimum.)

    Me: “Excuse me; the deposit for the new Pokémon is £5, but I’ve been charged twice for it.”

    Employee: “Oh, sorry, let me have a look.”

    (I hand him the receipt, while the woman stares at me.)

    Woman: “You’re a little old to be playing Pokémon aren’t you?”

    Me: “And your son’s a little young to be playing Grand Theft Auto isn’t he?”

    (The employees can’t help but laugh. The woman goes red faced.)

    Woman: “That’s completely different.”

    Me: “Yeah, I’m getting a game intended for kids and your kid is getting a game intended for adults.”

    Woman: “Well he knows full well not to repeat anything they do in those games; he is a smart boy. Who do you think you are to judge me anyway?”

    Me: “Lady… as far as I’m concerned, if my game purchases are your business then your game purchases are my business.”

    Woman: “Well I just hope my boy is smart enough to know when it is time to grow up.”

    Boy: “Yeah, f*** you!”

    (The employees and I burst out laughing as the mother throws the game onto the counter and drags her son out of the shop with him screaming at her that he wants his ‘f****** game.’)

    Related:
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 5
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 4
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 3
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 2
    Grand Theft Innocence

    A Half-Baked Notion

    | London, England, UK | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (I am an 18-year-old male. I work at a local bakery around the corner from my house on the weekends. I’m busy dealing with a customer, who happens to be my older sister by five years. Since it’s quiet at the moment, I’m just having a quick chat with her whilst my coworker deals with the only other customer in the store.)

    Me: “Well, anyway, I should get back to clearing the shelves. I will see you at home later?”

    Sister: “Yea sure!”

    (The other customer has apparently been eavesdropping, and walks up to my sister.)

    Customer: “Don’t you think you should wait until you’re older before you start dating men?”

    (The customer then turns to me.)

    Customer: “AND YOU! You should be ashamed of yourself! This girl can’t be more than 16, and you’re taking advantage of her!”

    (To be fair my sister is short and very slim. I’m 6′ 2″ and quite bulky, so she is often mistaken for being younger than me.)

    Me: “I’m terribly sorry, but you seem to have misunderstood. This is my sister, and she’s actually older than me.”

    Customer: “Don’t you try to justify yourself to me you monster; you’re taking advantage of this poor girl.”

    (The customer then tries to take my sister by the hand and lead her out of the store.)

    Customer: “Come with me, dear; I won’t let that man hurt you.”

    Sister: “No, that really is my brother! You don’t understand.”

    Customer: “No, dear, don’t believe his lies. Let’s get you away from here and call the police.”

    (He drags my sister out onto the street. I rush after them, because as far as I’m concerned, this man is in the act of kidnapping my sister.)

    Me: “Hey stop! GET OFF MY SISTER!”

    (The man turns around to face me, at which point several other store owners have come out to see what’s going on. I decide to make a last ditch attempt to reason with this man before I try and force him to let go of my sister.)

    Me: “Look, I’ve got my ID on me and so does my sister! If we show them to you, will you accept that what were telling you is the truth?”

    Customer: “Fine, but I warn you I know fakes when I see them!”

    (My sister and I both show our IDs, which bear the exact same surname and our dates of birth. I see that it all finally clicks into place in the customer’s brain.)

    Customer: “Oh, well, why didn’t you just say so?”

    (The customer saunters off down the street, merry as you like. Once were sure he’s gone, my sister walks round the corner back home. It’s only then we realize that in all the drama, the customer never actually paid for the bread and cakes he had bought. We all now wonder if he just forgot like we did, or if we were a victim of the most impressive scam to steal bread and cake in history!)

    Hellish Customers

    | ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Religion

    (While doing theater checks, I am informed that we have some skateboarders using our building’s parking lot and curbs as their own personal skate-park. I am sent to ask them to leave.)

    Me: “Hey guys, you can’t skateboard here.”

    Skateboarder #1: “Well, where can we go then?”

    Me: “I know of a skate-park 20 minutes walk from here at [local park].”

    Skateboarder #2: “Can we do a few more tricks here before we go?”

    Me: “Sorry, no.”

    (The three skateboarders turn to leave when the third, who has remained quiet the whole time, turns to me.)

    Skateboarder #3: “I WORSHIP LUFFASIR SIX SIX SIX! What do you say to that!?”

    Me: “Luffasir? It’s Lucifer, and I don’t need any more morons worshiping me. Now get the h*** out of here.”

    (Skateboarder #3 turns red and quickly walks away followed by his buddies, who could not stop laughing.)

    A Roll Rehearsal Before Bowel Reversal

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging

    (I’m working the front desk and checking in a guest.)

    Me: “…and here are your room keys. Your room is located on the third floor and will be on the right hand side of the elevator. If there’s absolutely anything you need just press zero on your phone and I’ll be sure to assist you. Enjoy your stay.”

    Guest: “Can I ask you for something now?”

    Me: “Of course, sir. Anything you need would be my pleasure to serve.”

    Guest: “Can I get five rolls of toilet paper?”

    Me: “The rooms come standard with two rolls. Would you like an additional three rolls to total the room out to five rolls, or would you like five additional rolls to total seven rolls?”

    Guest: “I would like the five additional rolls, please.”

    Me: “I can do that for you, but unfortunately there is a $1 fee per excess roll. Between you and me, if you wait until the morning, the housekeepers will change out your toilet paper anyway and you won’t have to pay for it.”

    Guest: “I need the five rolls tonight. I only bought this room because if I’m going to destroy a bathroom after my mother-in-law’s cooking, it ain’t gonna be my job to clean it up…”

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