Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Your Connection Is Totally Forked
    (1,898 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Family & Kids

    Tour Guides Are Ready To Answer All Questions And ‘The Question’

    | Derbyshire, England, UK | Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, History, Top

    (I work in a museum located in an Elizabethan manor house, which naturally shows a few signs of wear and tear. Today, I’m in a room with a large crack across the wall. I’m also a huge fan of the television show ‘Doctor Who.’ I carry a toy sonic screwdriver in my bag and have the phone number that is suppose to be the Doctor’s keyed into my phone. A young boy and his parents come into my room and spot the crack.)

    Boy: “Look, Mummy, a crack! It’s The Silence!”

    (The Silence are a race of monsters that created cracks in time and cause you to forget them as soon as you stop looking at them. His parents look pained, so I step in.)

    Me: “Don’t worry kid; this museum is a monster-free zone.”

    Boy: “How do you know? You might have just forgotten them.”

    Me: “Nah, The Doctor came and checked the crack for us; he said it’s fine.”

    Boy: “Really? You’re not just making that up?”

    Me: “Of course not! I’ll prove it.”

    (I pull the sonic screwdriver out of my handbag, and the boy’s eyes go wide.)

    Me: “See? The Doctor gave me this just in case one turns up, but I’ve never had to use it yet.”

    Boy: “Wow!”

    Me: “And if I really get into trouble…”

    (I pull out my phone, bring up my contact list and show him the number listed as ‘The Doctor.’)

    Me: “…he told me just to give him a call and he’d come right over.”

    Boy: “AWESOME!”

    (The boy is delighted for the rest of the visit, and his parents thank me profusely. Apparently he’d been skittish of cracks since the episode went out, and I’d been the first person to reassure him completely. Later, my boss came round with a thank you card they’d got me, addressed to ‘the Doctor’s companion.’ It made my day!)

    A Walk-In That Runs Out

    | NV, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (I work as a secretary in my husband’s practice. We don’t take walk-ins, and it’s clearly stated on the front door, but people still try to see him without an appointment. One day, someone comes in while my husband is out having lunch.)

    Walk-In: “Hi, can I see Dr. [Name]?”

    (I already suspect something, since my husband would never schedule appointments during his lunch break.)

    Me: “What time is your appointment?”

    Walk-In: “I don’t have one.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; we’re by appointment only.”

    Walk-In: “That’s okay; I’m his brother. He’s expecting me.”

    Me: “Really? He didn’t tell me anything of the sort.”

    Walk-In: “Well, you’re just a silly secretary. You don’t need to know that sort of thing. Can I go see him now?”

    Me: “You said you’re his brother?”

    Walk-In: “Yes!”

    Me: “Well, that’s funny. You don’t look the least bit like him.”

    Walk-In: “Everyone says that.”

    Me: “Really?”

    Walk-In: “Look, b****, I don’t have time for this. Just—”

    (At this point, my husband has returned from lunch and has just heard the walk-in’s slur.)

    My Husband: “Excuse me! Don’t speak to her that way.”

    (The walk-in turns around and looks my husband square in the face.)

    Walk-In: “Hey, mind your own business, moron. This doesn’t concern you, so butt out.”

    Me: “Actually, it does concern him. That’s the doctor.”

    (The walk-in goes white in the face. My husband crosses his arms.)

    My Husband: “And moreover, that’s my wife you’ve just insulted.”

    Me: *sweetly* “How did you say you were related, again?”

    Young Boys Display Monstrous Behavior

    | TX, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a costume shop, and I see a six- or seven-year-old boy looking through the aisle.)

    Me: “Hey there, little guy! Are you looking for a costume?”

    Boy: “Yeah! I’m gonna be a clown, zombie, vampire, werewolf, monster!”

    (The mother of the boy comes around the corner.)

    Mother: “Sweetie, you can only be one, so just choose one.”

    Boy:” Okay, can I be a clown monster werewolf vampire?”

    Me: “But not a zombie?”

    Boy: “Oh yeah, and zombie!”

    Me: “How about we stick two of them together? You can be a werewolf zombie, or a clown monster, or a vampire clown, even.”

    Boy: “Ooh! I want to be a vampire clown. Can I be a vampire clown, please? I want lots of blood.”

    Mother: “Do you even have a vampire clown costume?”

    Me: “We have clown and vampire costumes separately. I’d say a clown outfit, some vampire teeth, and some blood should make the costume right.”

    Boy: “Do you have lots of blood?”

    (I point to the rack with small tubes of fake blood.)

    Me: “We only have these.”

    Boy: “No, I want lots of blood.”

    Me: “Well, I’m sure it’ll have enough—”

    Boy: *serious face* “No. I want lots of blood. I’ll just have to take yours…”

    To Give Credit, Where Credit Was Due

    | OK, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Money

    (I’m in my first semester of college. I’ve just had my first midterm, and unfortunately I’ve also caught a cold and am not quite thinking straight. I’m at the check out line with my groceries when I realize I’ve left my credit card back at the dorm.)

    Me: *quietly embarrassed* “I forgot my credit card back at the dorm. I’m really sorry; I can’t buy these right now.”

    Cashier: “Oh, don’t worry about it. We’ll just put them back.”

    Me: “I really am sorry.”

    Cashier: “Don’t worry about it; it’s okay. I’m sorry you can’t get these right now.”

    (At this point, the customer in line behind me speaks up.)

    Customer: “Just put them on mine.”

    Me: *shocked* “What?”

    Customer: “I’ll pay for them; don’t worry.”

    Me: “You don’t have to. It’s my own fault.”

    Customer: “It’s okay, really. My mother, father, brother, and I all went to [nearby college] at the same time. I have five kids. I would have wanted someone do to this for me.”

    (At this point I’m near tears. She pays for my groceries and I thank her profusely. She and the cashier talk to me about my majors and tell me to study hard, which I assure them I will. Thank you, random lady, for helping me out when I made a stupid mistake! The world needs more kind people like you!)

    Related:
    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 4
    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 3
    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 2

    No Wonder She Ran Away

    , | London, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

    (I work in one of the gift shops at a popular UK theme park. One day I notice a little girl, probably no older than eight, wandering around our shop unattended quite late in the day.)

    Me: “Hi sweetie, are you all right there?”

    (The girl just bursts into tears.)

    Girl: “I’ve lost my mummy and daddy!”

    Me: “Okay, okay. Well, don’t worry; I’ll help you look for them.”

    (I take her over to a stool we’ve been using to stock up and get her sat down. I let my coworker know to inform security so they can issue a park announcement and come take over the situation.)

    Me: “Now, here’s some tissues, and some water. Do you like sweets?”

    Girl: “Yeah. Coke bottles are my favourite.”

    Me: “Me, too! Tell you what: you clear up those tears, and we’ll fill up a pick’n'mix bucket for you, okay?”

    (She smiles a bit and nods, and starts blowing her nose. About 10 minutes pass, and the girl has calmed a little bit. I’m told that security are all of a few minutes away, when a couple come into the shop.)

    Mother: “[Girl], there you are! How DARE you run away from us!”

    Girl: “I got stuck behind some people—”

    Father: “Don’t you interrupt your mother, you little cow!”

    Me: “Ah, excuse me? I take it you’re this little girl’s parents?”

    (They both look at me with a mix of disgust and shock.)

    Mother: “What’s it to you?”

    Me: “Well, I’m not a parent, but if I’d lost my daughter I wouldn’t be insulting and yelling at her, especially since she’s literally just stopped crying.”

    Father: “You rude little s***! Who do you think you are?!”

    (The father gets a tap on the shoulder by the security team that has just arrived.)

    Security Guy #1: “Well at a guess, I’d say this is the staff member who found your daughter and has been looking after her.”

    (The girl holds up her bucket of cola bottles, squashed down as far as we can get them.)

    Girl: “He let me have all of these sweets!”

    Mother: “We better not have to pay for them!”

    (I just about hold my tongue, but the security guys say what I am thinking.)

    Security Guy #2: “Are you for real? You lose your kid and you’re worried about paying for a bunch of cola bottles?!”

    Security Guy #1: “Tell you what: any complaints or questions you have we’ll sort out at the security office with all the other paper work, and let these guys get back to their jobs.”

    (Just as they left, the girl gave me a hug and said ‘thank you.’ I don’t know what happened to her, but I hope the parents eventually saw sense as to what’s important in life.)

    Page 37/153First...3536373839...Last