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    Category: Family & Kids

    The Height Of Unreason

    | AZ, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Tourists/Travel

    (I’m running a ride that has a four-foot height limit, due to the speeds at which it spins and the types of harnesses used for the seats. A guest is waiting at the front of the line with his daughter, who is clearly too small to ride. I am resetting all of the safety locks for the next ride, and I hear my coworker talking to the guest.)

    Coworker: “Alright, sir, I’m going to have to double-check her height. I’m pretty certain she’s too small to ride.”

    Customer: “Oh she’ll be fine; I’ll be sitting with her.”

    Coworker: “No, sir, you can’t do that. I have to check her height.”

    (With a bit of a cross look on his face, he tells his daughter to stand next to the measuring pole. She’s a good six inches too short.)

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir; I can’t let her ride. She’s simply too small.”

    Customer: “Dude, seriously? I’m right here; I’ll be holding her the whole time.”

    Coworker: “I can’t let her ride.”

    (At this point, he’s holding up the line, and the customers behind him are getting impatient.)

    Customer: “Dude, it’s her birthday and we just waited for an hour to get on this ride. Just let her go this time.”

    Coworker: “My hands are tied. She can’t ride.”

    Customer: “I’m not moving. She’s going to ride.”

    (He pretty much has the attention of everyone in line by now. I come over.)

    Me: “Listen, sir, I need to get this line moving. Just let me get this straight: you’re telling me that you’re going to willingly endanger your daughter’s life for the low, low price of a ride pass? Fine, by all means.”

    (The man goes red in the face before wordlessly picking up his daughter and walking out of the line.)

    Veteran Veterinarian

    | OH, USA | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    (A girl of about 11 years old, who is a frequent library user, has brought a stack of books to my counter to check out. I’m in my 20s.)

    Me: “Oh, lots of books about being a veterinarian!”

    Girl: *nods head enthusiastically*

    Me: “Well, when you become a vet I’ll bring my pets to you.”

    Girl: *startled expression* “You’ll be dead by then!”

    Inject Some Humor Into The Situation

    | USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I am four years old, and in need of vaccinations. The nurse is babying me about it.)

    Me: “Just do it; I’m not scared.”

    (I have the vaccination with no problem.)

    Nurse: “Wow, you’re one of the toughest kids I’ve met.”

    Me: “Really? It’s nothing.”

    Nurse: “Oh, you are tough. Half of the kids your age come in crying.”

    Me: “Because they’re babies! I’m not.”

    Nurse: “Let me tell you something. I have a friend who is also a nurse. A 40-year-old man needed an injection and he cried for 10 minutes before he calmed down enough for her to inject him. And he cried after she stuck him too.”

    Me: “Really?!”

    Nurse: “Yeah. I wish he could have seen you.”

    It’s Going To Be A Hooray Kind Of Day

    | Columbus, OH, USA | Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I volunteer regularly at a big science museum in Columbus, which has everything divided up into different ‘worlds.’ The world I work in is set up as ruins on a mysterious island, where you have to go around solving puzzles in order to ‘wake up’ statues and eventually enter the main tower. It’s a slow morning and the only guests are a mother and her kids, one about six months and the other about three.)

    Mother: “What do you see when you wake up, [son]?”

    Son: “Umm…”

    Mother: “If you stand there and look straight up, what do you see?”

    Son: *looks around, then down at his shoes* “Umm…”

    Me: *cheerfully* “Up at the sky!”

    (I raise my hands up and wave them around a little, trying to encourage him to look up. Eventually he does and his face lights up.)

    Son: “A snake!”

    Mother: “Hooray!”

    Me: “Hooray!”

    Son: “Hooray for me!”

    (They proceed around the rest of the area with the mother gently directing her toddler through each puzzle. I’m meant to stay in my assigned area, but every once in a while I hear a little voice pipe up with ‘hooray for me!’)

    Little Pony, Big Problem

    | USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (I always try to make conversation with the customers, especially the kids. I notice that the young daughter of the family I’m ringing up is wearing a shirt bearing a picture of Fluttershy, one of the ponies from the new ‘My Little Pony’ cartoon.)

    Me: “I like your shirt, sweetheart! That’s Fluttershy, huh? Fluttershy’s my favorite pony!”

    (The little girl glares at me.)

    Me: “Is something wrong?”

    Girl: *crying* “You can’t have Fluttershy for your favorite, because Fluttershy is my favoritest pony ever, in the whole wide world! I like her way more than you could ever ever ever, and she’s my pony pal, not yours! I love Fluttershy, so you CAN’T!”

    Me: “Oh… uhm, can I say Pinkie Pie is my favorite then?”

    Girl: *sniffling, wiping her eyes* “Yeah. You can have Pinkie Pie.”


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