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    Category: Family & Kids

    She Got Trumped

    | UK | Family & Kids, Geeks Rule

    (We have a regular couple of customers: a mother and her young son. They come in predominantly to buy trading cards based on a popular hand-held game. The young boy is very polite and sometimes comes alone. The mother is loathed by most members of staff because of her critical attitude towards her son’s hobby and our stock.)

    Mother: “This store is just ridiculous. Why do you stock such crap? Children wasting their money! Parents wasting their money!”

    Me: “Well, if he’s saved his money up, it’s all his choice to buy these trading cards, isn’t it?”

    Mother: “Yes, but it’s just rubbish! Stupid drivel for STUPID people!”

    (My manager, who is nearby, and I are both irritated by this. This woman tends to bully her son every time they are here together. Her son is completely silent other than asking for what packs of cards he wants. As the receipt prints, my manager speaks up.)

    Manager: “You know, my colleague here plays trading card games.”

    Mother: “What? Why?!”

    (Note: I’m 23.)

    Manager: “So, by that connection, you’d be calling her stupid, for playing stupid games.”

    Mother: “Well, yes!”

    Me: “Stupid games that teach things like mathematical and tactical skills.”

    Mother: “Well—”

    Me: “And that you are, effectively, calling your money-managing, polite, patient young son stupid.”

    Mother: “Well—”

    Me: “Just remember that.”

    (The mother goes white and apologizes profusely, before leaving the store. The son ends up talking to me about some of the card games, and now still does every time he comes back. The mother might still make disparaging remarks about our other stock, but she’s never called anything or anyone ‘stupid’ since.)

    Sins Of The Father, Part 3

    | OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

    (I am the customer in this scenario. I have decided to have lunch at a local muffin/sandwich shop. I finish my order, and a couple comes in behind me with two children. The mother leaves to go to another store, and the children begin to run the length of the store without any input from their father. I finally get my food tray, and am stepping away from the counter, when the older of the two, the son runs into me from behind, full tilt. Barely keeping my balance, I cry out.)

    Me: “Hey! Watch where you’re going, buddy!”

    Father: “Don’t you f****** talk to my kid like that!”

    Son: “Yeah!”

    (The son aims a punch at my more tender areas. I thankfully turn to the side quickly enough to avoid the hit in the crotch, but the son ends up smacking the hard back of the cell phone in my pocket. He falls to the floor, holding his hand and wailing.)

    Father: “You son of a b****! You hit my son!”

    Me: “No… he just—”

    Father: “Someone call the police! That man hit my son!”

    Me: “Look—”

    Father: “I saw you! You hit my son! I’m gonna—” *starts advancing on me with fists clenched*

    (The owner suddenly comes over.)

    Owner: “[Father's Name], that’s it! I’ve had it! I’ve told you not to let your kids run around here, and now you’re threatening my customers. I don’t care if you’re related to me; I want you and your kids out of my store, now!”

    Father: “But he—”

    Owner: “Remember, [Father's Name], you installed the video cameras for me last week. I watched your son run into and try to hit this guy. GET OUT!”

    (I didn’t lose my meal, but I was able to eat it in relative peace after the father and the owner finished a protracted screaming match with the father losing and leaving.)

    Related:
    Sins Of The Father, Part 2
    Sins Of The Father

    Aging Badly

    | Exeter, England, UK | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a cinema. One evening on my break, I see my husband’s 13-year-old cousin hanging around outside. I have a feeling that she’s trying to get into a 15-rated film, so when I go back on shift, I tell everybody else I know she’s under 15. She eventually goes to my manager’s till, so I go over.)

    Me: “Don’t sell her a ticket to Silent Hill. She’s my husband’s cousin; I know she’s 13.”

    Manager: “Okay, thanks.”

    (My cousin approaches. She doesn’t seem to recognize me.)

    Cousin: “I’d like tickets for Silent Hill, please.”

    Manager: “I’m afraid you cannot get a ticket for the film. You are not over 15.”

    Cousin: “What the f***?! I’m f****** 15; don’t f****** listen to her! What the f*** does she know? I want to watch the f****** film!”

    Manager: “You’re not old enough to watch it; we know you’re not. Can you move to the side, so I can serve someone else?”

    Cousin: “F*** you! You don’t know s***! I’m watching the f****** film!”

    (My manager goes to my cousin’s friends, who are waiting to the side.)

    Manager: “I’m happy for you guys to watch the film; you’ve got your ID with you, so it’s fine. Your friend can’t watch the film because she’s not old enough.” *to my husband’s cousin* “I’m asking you to leave, and to stop swearing.”

    Cousin: “I’m not f****** swearing!”

    Manager: “Or I can call the police to have you removed? Choice is yours.”

    (She hasn’t stepped foot in the cinema since. That Christmas, she came round to my husband’s parents’ house while we were there. As soon as she saw me, she practically fled the room, because the penny finally dropped!)

    The Little Mermaid Student

    | New Zealand | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Top

    (I am a swimming teacher for mainly children under five. It is after the final lesson of the day. I am standing chatting to the parents. A young girl I have just been teaching walks up to me.)

    Young Girl: “Excuse me. What are you doing?”

    Me: “What do you mean?”

    Young Girl: “Why aren’t you in the pool?”

    Me: “I don’t have anyone else to teach today. You were my last class.”

    Young Girl: “But I thought you lived in the pool. Aren’t you a mermaid, miss?”

    (I have to fight back the laughter as this little girl is completely serious, and is horrified to learn I don’t live in the pool! It’s things like this that make my job worthwhile.)

    Out Of The Dirty Mouth Of Babes

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Theme Of The Month

    (A three-year-old girl is waiting with her family for her turn to see the doctor. She is entertaining herself by singing.)

    Girl: “I wonder what your name is; I wonder what’s your name? My name’s [name]! Hello, hello, hello. I wonder what your name is; I wonder what’s your name?” *approaches my desk* “What’s YOUR name, b****?”

    Me: *speechless*

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