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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Family & Kids

    In Line And Out Of Line

    | Durban, South Africa | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Money, Top

    (I’m in line to pay. Customer #1 in front of me is about in his 40s, and very well-dressed in a suit and tie. Customer #2 in front of him seems to be a single mother with her child. I’m 25, and pretty shabbily dressed; wearing only faded jeans, an old, novelty Star Wars shirt, and have my long hair almost covering my eyes.)

    Customer #1: “Lady, can you hurry up! Some people are important and actually have places to be!”

    (Customer #2 is fumbling with her money. In her cart she only has basic groceries and what appears to be a birthday cake for her child. She mumbles something about not having enough money, and decides to leave the cake behind.)

    Customer #1: “Don’t waste everyone’s time if you can’t even pay for your s***! Or maybe you need another government handout that comes from my taxes?!”

    (At this point, I feel like I’ve got to step in.)

    Me: “Hey man, that’s enough!”

    Customer #1: “Who do you think you are? I’ll have you know I’m the [high profile position] at [large shipping company], and no one ever talks to me like that.”

    (Suddenly, I become much more respectful.)

    Me: “I’m so sorry, sir. I had no idea you were so important. Would you mind if I asked you for your business card?”

    (Customer #1 smugly hands me his card. I see he is, indeed, who he says he is.)

    Me: “And here’s my business card.”

    Customer #1: “Why the h*** would I want your—”

    (Customer #1 suddenly goes pale, as he notices that I am co-owner of [large shipping company].)

    Me: “Now that I know your name, I’ll be sure to phone your supervisor to ensure you’re put on probation. One more act like this and you’re fired.”

    (Customer #1 stammers for a bit, before practically running from the store. I end up paying for the mother’s cake, and even gave them a bit extra to buy the kid any toy from the store.)

    Raising A Voodoo Child

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Family & Kids, Musical Mayhem

    (I have been a music instructor for over three decades. An angry mom confronts me before her son’s drum lesson.)

    Angry Mom: “Why are you showing my son all of these heavy metal and rock songs to play drums to?”

    Me: “Because he asked me to. He seems to like that type of music.”

    Angry Mom: “He most certainly DOES NOT like that music. It’s overtly sexual, violent and demonic. Why can’t you show him good music? Instead of this Metallica and ACDC garbage.”

    Me: “Good music?”

    Angry Mom: “YES! Good music. The 60s. Jimi Hendrix. The Beatles. The Rolling Stones?”

    Me: “Maybe ‘Hey Joe,’ by Jimi Hendrix?”

    Angry Mom: “Exactly!”

    Me: “‘I’m just going down to shoot my old lady, I caught her messing around with another man….’ That ‘Hey Joe?’”

    Angry Mom: “Yes! The classics!”

    Paying It Forward

    | QC, Canada | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top

    (I work as a secretary in a community center where children can attend day camps. They also have to pay in advance if they want to attend a special activity outside of the city. A mother calls.)

    Me: “Community Center, how may I help you?”

    Mother: “Hi! I know this must be difficult to do, since you have a lot to do with all the day camps, but I have a request.”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Mother: “Well, my daughter was registered for the activity that will be Friday on next week. I have already paid, but she won’t be able to go because we’re on vacation that week. I would like you to transfer her reservation to another child please.”

    (I think that she wants to get her money back, like most of parents when they call.)

    Me: “So you are asking me to give you back your money for this activity?”

    Mother: “No, no! Of course not! I know it’s a bit complicated, but I would like you to transfer the reservation to another child that would like to go there, but doesn’t have the money for it.”

    Me: “Oh, wow! Now I understand, and it’s very kind of you! May I have your name, your daughter’s name and your phone number so I can call you back—”

    Mother: “Oh! I don’t need you to call me back; just to know another kid will be happy makes me happy! But my daughter’s name is [name], so you can remove the activity in her file. Thank you very much for doing this!”

    Don’t Get The Hump

    | Boise, ID, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

    (I work for an exotic petting zoo. Every Halloween, for several years, we set up our petting zoo at a maze. This particular year, I am in charge of answering questions people have about the animals. I am standing in front of the Bactrian camel—or two-humped camel&mdsh; because I am bottle feeding him. A guest walks up to the pen with two young boys in tow.)

    Guest: “Look, kids, you see those humps? That’s where camels store all their water so they don’t get thirsty!”

    Me: “Actually, sir, the camel stores fat in his humps. The reason camels can go so long without water is because their red blood cells are shaped like an oval, instead of ours which are circular. The shape allows the camel to hold more water in his bloodstream without bursting his blood cells.”

    Guest: “You see, kids! I told you camels store water in their humps! Let’s go look at the llamas. Make sure they don’t spit on you!”

    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 4

    | Overland Park, KS, USA | Family & Kids, Technology, Underaged

    (I am a customer browsing at a local game store, I witness an exchange between a mother and her young son, who appears to be about eight years old. The son is trying to get his mother to buy him a copy of ‘Call of Duty: Black Ops’.)

    Son: “Mom, can we get this?”

    Mother: “I’m not getting you that game.”

    Son: “Pleeeaase?”

    Mother: “No, it’s too graphic.”

    Son: “It’s only 30 bucks!”

    Mother: “Is there violence?”

    Employee & I: “Yep.”

    Mother: “Is there shooting?”

    Employee & I: “Yep.”

    Mother: “Is there blood?”

    Employee & I: “Yep.”

    Mother: “Then I’m not getting it for you.”

    Son: “But I want it!”

    Mother: “No, because you’re going to go to Uncle and tell him about how I got you Call of Duty: Black Ops, and then I’m going to be in trouble.”

    Son: “I can just have Uncle turn the sound off the TV so I won’t hear any bad words.”

    Mother: “What does that have to do with anything? Honey, it’s not the bad words I’m worried about, it’s the violence and shooting and blood!”

    Son: “I swear I won’t tell Uncle!”

    Mother: “No, I’m not getting you that game!”

    Son: *sees ‘Grand Theft Auto IV’* “Can we get this?”

    Mother: “That doesn’t look like the one we have at the house. Sure, I’ll get that for you…”

    Related:
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 3
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 2
    Grand Theft Innocence


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