November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Family & Kids

The Mother Of All Lies

| Indianapolis, IN, USA | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

(I work for a rental company and overhear one of our managers informing a woman in her 40s that to add her mother as a driver it’ll cost an extra $10 a day unless it’s her spouse.)

Woman: “I don’t want to pay an extra $10! I want to add my wife onto the add drivers area, then.”

Manager: “Uh, what?”

Woman: “What? Isn’t gay marriage legal in Indiana?!”

Manager: “Yes, gay marriage is legal. However, you just told me that she was your mother.”

Woman: “No! She is my gay lover and we have been married for two years!”

(Awkward silence.)

Manager: “I would not be able to do that since you have just blatantly lied.”

(The woman stormed out.)

Can’t Take The Weight Of Her Daughter’s Behavior

| Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I am at the cash register ringing up people when I notice a mother and her daughter walk in the store. The little girl goes one way, towards the frozen yogurt, and the mother goes the other. The girl gets the biggest cup we offer and fills it all the way to the top with frozen yogurt and puts the dome lid on, then proceeds to fill it up the rest of the way with toppings. Like all frozen yogurt establishments, the price is dependent on the weight of the items. The mother and daughter walk up to the register at the same time.)

Me: *as I start ringing up the mother’s items* “Can I get you ladies anything else?”

Mother: “No, that’s it.”

Me: *talking to the daughter now* “Okay, sweetie, can you please put your yogurt on the scale so I can figure up the price?”

(Daughter complies and puts her yogurt on the scale. I quickly noticed this transaction was going awry when the mother noticed the price on the scale said $9.09.)

Mother: “That price can’t be right!” *now talking to her daughter* “Pick that up! Now set it back down! Pick it up! Set it back down!”

(20 seconds of this later:)

Me: “Ma’am, the price isn’t going to change because it’s dependent upon the weight.”

Mother: “No! You’re wrong! We came in here last week and got the SAME EXACT AMOUNT of frozen yogurt and it was only $3! How do you even know how much it is per ounce?! There’s no signs!”

Me: “Well, if you would look back at the frozen yogurt section, you would see that there are two electronic signs stating that the frozen yogurt is [price].”

(She looks back at the signs and whips her head back around to me.)

Mother: “Those signs aren’t at eye-level! How is anyone supposed to see those! They don’t walk in the store looking up at the wall when the yogurt is at eye level!”

Me: “I don’t know what to tell you. If you got the same exact amount of yogurt and toppings as last time, which would be almost impossible by the way, the yogurt total today would come out to $3. My guess is that last time you were in here, she was supervised when getting the frozen yogurt.”

(She pauses, stunned for a second that someone dare talk to her or about her darling angel this way.)

Mother: “Well I’m not paying for this s***! This is unbelievable! I want to speak with your manager!”

Me: “I’m the manager on duty. ”

Mother: “Come on, [Daughter]! We’re going to get you ice cream at [Fast Food Place]!”


Mother: “Okay, honey, I’ll get it for you this time, but next time mommy isn’t going to spend so much money on ice cream.” *she then turns to me* “We WILL NOT be coming back here… EVER!”

(I physically restrained myself from throat-punching the woman by holding onto the sides of the register.)

The Mother Knows Her Call Of Duty

| OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Technology

(I am working at a customer support center for a popular online video game.)

Me: “Hello, support.”

Caller: “Hi, my son can’t get into his account.”

(I verify her information and pull up the account.)

Me: “Ma’am, it seems you son’s account was suspended because he violated community guidelines.”

Caller: “What does that mean?”

(I get the report open and my jaw drops. He was reported for harassment. Gamers are infamous trash-mouths, but this one of the disgusting guys who harassed our female players. And I have his mother on the line.)

Me: “It looks like your son was reported for harassing another player. Do you know if he was using his account last Saturday?”

Caller: “Oh, yes, that was him. What did he do? Did he swear?”

Me: “Among other things. Do you have an email address that I can send a copy of our suspension notice and transcript of the event in question?”

(She gives me her email and keeps talking while I type and send.)

Caller:  “I don’t see how you can ban him for a little swearing? I read the rating; don’t the characters swear? What did he say that was so bad?”

Me: “I am not comfortable repeating it. Did you get the email?”

Caller: “Yes, I—”

(She goes very quiet.)

Me: “Ma’am?”

Caller: *she talks in that deadly, angry-mother tone*“Thank you for informing me of this. Unfortunately I will need to cancel his account.”

Me: “I will go ahead and do that for you. Can I help you with anything else today?”

Caller: “No, thank you. I have to go talk to my son now.”

(I didn’t stop grinning all day long, knowing at least one online harasser met justice.)

Search Your Feelings, You Know It To Be True

| KY, USA | Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Holidays, Movies & TV

(It is October, 1999. I am in the local fabric store with some friends, getting costuming stuff. We run across a woman buying up materials for making an Anakin Skywalker costume for her nine-year-old son that’s with her. He really, really likes ‘Star Wars: The Phantom Menace;’ it is his favorite movie and he has come to be a huge fan of ‘Star Wars.’)

Boy: “I’ve watched the original trilogy of films every week and that I’ve seen Episode I in theaters a dozen times and can’t wait for it to come out on tape!”

Mom: “I hope my boy grows up to be just like Anakin!” *she then goes on talking about what a great role model Anakin is for young boys and how she encourages her boy to be like Anakin… cue the awkward pause and cringe by me and my friends*

Me: “Uh, do you know that Anakin Skywalker grows up to be Darth Vader?”

Mom: “Don’t be crazy. You’re making that up. There’s no way sweet little Anakin could ever become evil like that. Besides, he doesn’t grow up to be Vader. They have different names after all.”

Me: “These are prequels. They are set decades before the original films, right? Okay, the hero of the original films was Luke Skywalker right? Okay, remember the “No, I am your father.” part that Vader says?”

(That is when it clicked to her. She’d never put it together. She got a look of abject horror on her face when she realized it was true. She grabbed her boy by the hand, dragging him out of the store, saying he was going to be something else for Halloween, and he was not allowed to ever watch Star Wars ever again and she was getting rid of all his Star Wars stuff because it was filled with such bad role models for children.)

The Fruit Salad Doesn’t Fall Very Far From The Tree

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I’m serving a mother and her young son.)

Me: *to son* “What salads would you like on your sub?”

Mother: “Oh, he won’t eat salads. I don’t know why!”

Me: “That’s okay. Would you like any salads on your sub?”

Mother: “Oh, no, I don’t eat salad.”

Me: “…”