Category: Family & Kids

Banana Drama

| Austria | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(My colleague is a highly educated man about twice my age and works as a guide/educator in several prestigious museums, including a family-friendly house dedicated to nature and natural sciences, where the following occurs. Two young mothers let their toddlers run around wildly in an exhibition space while chatting. One of the mothers starts handing out bananas to the kids.)

Colleague: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but eating is not permitted here.”

Visitor: “I thought you were supposed to be a family-friendly museum. Am I supposed to let the poor kids go hungry?”

Colleague: “Of course not, ma’am. We have a nice, large picnic area where you’ll surely be much more comfortable. There you can also warm up milk or food, if necessary. Let me show you where it is.”

Visitor: “Why can’t you just let them finish their bananas here?”

(My colleague points to a very small child holding a half-eaten banana like a pen, smearing it all over a white wall.)

Colleague: “That’s why.”

(Instead of leaving the area, the very same lady grabs her kid, takes out a blanket and a diaper.)

Colleague: *in a much sterner tone* “If you wish to diaper your baby, I must insist on you using the specially designated room, ma’am, JUST OVER THERE.” *points to the other end of the hall* “There is such a thing as odour nuisance.”

(This time she yields and begrudgingly takes her stuff and the kid to the baby care room. After a few minutes she comes out and ostentatiously chucks the dirty diaper in a waste basket just outside the washrooms. The place, of course, starts to reek.)

Colleague: *in a perfectly calm tone* “What kind of pigsty did YOU escape from, madam?!”

(Whereupon they stormed off, never to be seen again…)

The Pranks Are Heating Up

| Aulnay-sous-Bois, France | Family & Kids

(My sister is a pharmacist. This happens to her boss while on duty. The phone rings at the beginning of the afternoon.)

Boss: “[Pharmacy], how may I help you?”

Child: “Do you have any thermometers?”

Boss: “Yes, we do sell some.”

Child: “WELL, YOU CAN STICK THEM UP YOUR A**! *hangs up*

(Her boss laughs at the prank call and tells her, and thinks nothing of it. Two hours later, the phone rings, and he’s the one answering it again.)

Boss: “[Pharmacy], how may I help you?”

Caller: “Oh, hello. So you’re a pharmacy?”

Boss: “Yes, we are [Pharmacy] from [Place]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Well, sorry to disturb you. I just went back home from work and forgot my cellphone at home. I just noticed my son used it to call this number, and I thought I called back to know who you were.”

Boss: “No problem, sir.”

Caller: “I apologize for the inconvenience, I will teach my son a lesson he will not forget.”

Boss: “Oh, no, no, no ! No need for it!”

Caller: “Why? He used my phone and bothered you while you were busy!”

Boss: “No, we just opened. We had no customers yet, and it wasn’t a problem at all. It was a short call. Nothing happened!”

Caller: *angrily* “What did he tell you?”

Boss: “Oh, it was just a small prank call.”

Caller: “OH, MY GOD, THAT LITTLE S***! And I just offered to buy him a video game! I’ll take it back; he doesn’t deserve it.”

Boss: “No, wait, no! I told you, don’t worry. It was nothing!”

Caller: “Yes, it was! I must teach him some people are working and that he f***ing needs to grow up!”

Boss: “But it was just a fun joke, you know? Nothing to worry about.”

Caller: “What did he tell you?”

Boss: “Well, er… He only asked if we had thermometers…”

Caller: “And…?”

Boss: “And… well… he said I could stick them up my a**.”

Caller: “WELL, I THINK IT’S ABOUT TIME YOU PULL THEM OUT NOW!” *hangs up*

(Her boss burst into laughter and told the whole staff about it. Whoever this was, it put them in a good mood for the rest of the day!)

No Way To ‘Run’ A Restaurant

| Canada | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I am a server and it is a busy Friday night. I have about six tables, one of those being a 12-top with about four kids.)

Me: “Hi, it’s really busy and I’d rather not run into your kid. Do you mind not letting them run around?”

Customer: “Are you serious? You can’t just watch where you are going?”

Me: “I’ll do my best.” *I smile and walk away*

(10 minutes later, I’m walking through the aisle with three plates in my hand and a child runs into me and steps on my foot, leading to a large bruise and me dropping all the plates, that were for their table.)

Customer: “ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME?! YOU NEED TO WATCH WHERE YOU ARE GOING! YOU COULD HAVE DROPPED THAT ON MY SON!”

Me: “I am so sorry. I tried but your son ran into me. I’ll get this food remade for you right away!”

Customer: No forget it; we are leaving! This is your fault! You’re the worst server I have ever had, almost hurting my son!”

Milking The Return Policy

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I work at a small local grocery store and our return policy is quite generous, but some people take it too far.)

Me: “Hi, there! How are you today?”

Customer: “Hi, paper bags.”

Me: “Okay. Did you find what you were looking for?”

Customer: “Yes.” *pulls out a carton of almond milk* “If my son doesn’t like this can I return it?”

Me: “Well, unless it is unopened or there is something physically wrong with it we can’t accept a return simply because your son doesn’t like it.”

Customer: “Why not? If I buy this and he doesn’t like the taste it’s not my fault, so I should be able to get my money back.”

Me: “Let me get a manager for you, ma’am…”

Licked Clean(er)

| MO, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(A woman and her young child are standing in line, looking at the baked goods on display in glass cases. The child begins licking the glass.)

Coworker: “Uh, ma’am? Could you please keep your son from licking the glass?”

Female Customer: “Don’t worry about it. He’s not hurting anything.”

Coworker: “Maybe not, but I just cleaned the glass, and I’m fairly sure the cleaner is toxic when ingested.”

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