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    Category: Family & Kids

    Been Ladle-fed Her Entire Life

    | New Ulm, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (I am called over by a customer to the kitchen department.)

    Customer: “I’m looking for a metal ladle. I need it to match my other utensils.”

    Me: *showing her the three plastic ladles we have, no metal ones* “Sorry, it seems we only have plastic ones, not metal. You could possibly check online.”

    Customer: *clearly annoyed* “No, I need a metal ladle. I don’t want to go online for any crap you’re trying to sell me.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We’re a lot smaller than other stores. We don’t have as large of a variety as the other ones do.”

    Customer: “I need my ladle. You’ll order one for me and I’ll be here to pick it up in three days exactly.”

    Me: “We can’t do that, ma’am. We have thing shipped to us through a system. We get bulk orders of items that the systems recognizes we need, whether we have run out or they are sent for a new season.”

    Customer: “I’ll be back in three days.” *to her daughter in the cart* “The customer is always right, sweetie. You demand, and then you get. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I’ll get my ladle and they can’t do anything about it.”

    (She walked away while I tried to explain there was no way we could order one of an item, again…)

    Child’s Play And Slay

    | PA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

    (At an interactive show meant primarily for little kids, the show follows the good guys tracking a bad guy. Near the end, they catch the bad guy and ask the audience what they should do next. This gets the kids excited to chime in. All of the kids here are under 10 years old.)

    Announcer: “Okay, kids! What should we do with the bad guy now?”

    Girl: “Tell his mommy!”

    Announcer: “Okay, let’s tell his mommy on him! What else?”

    Boy #1: “Kill him!”

    Announcer: “What?!”

    Boy #2: “EAT HIM!”

    Announcer: “Okay, we are DEFINITELY not eating him. That’s illegal.”

    Boy #3: “SET HIM ON FIRE!”

    Announcer: “What do your parents let you watch?!”

    She Passed With Flying Colors

    | NY, USA | Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Holidays

    (I organize events for special needs children and their families. I also work as a female clown. A little girl has approached my table.)

    Me: “Well, hi there! Would you like to get your face painted today?”

    Girl: “Yes! I want [Popular Children's Character]!”

    (She takes a seat, and as I get my supplies I notice she is staring at my head. I am bald due to a medical condition, so I wear nice-quality wigs which, despite their artificial colors, are often mistaken as real hair. Today I’m wearing bright pink.)

    Me: “All righty, then! [Children's Character] it is. My name is [My Clown Name]; what’s your name?”

    Girl: “[Girl].” *pauses as I ready the paints* “How is your hair pink? Is it REALLY pink or fake? I don’t think hair can actually be like that.”

    (Her mother begins to speak up, but I wink at her.)

    Me: “Well, I have special hair! I can make it any color I want. Today it’s pink, but tomorrow it might not be.”

    Girl: “Wow! Is that magic?”

    Me: “Yup, it’s kind of like magic!”

    (I proceed to paint her face, fielding several questions about my ‘powers’ to the amusement of the mother. Later the mother explains that due to her rabid love of this popular ‘magical’ franchise, other kids have begun to make her doubt the existence of magic. Weeks later, I am hosting a Halloween event when I spot the same little girl, dressed as one of the franchise characters.)

    Me: “Hi, [Girl]! I like your costume.”

    Girl: “Thanks! It’s my favorite—”

    (She stops abruptly and her eyes go wide. Sure enough, I am wearing a curly purple wig. Her mother grins.)

    Girl: “Whoooooaaaaaa.” *to her mother* “Mommy, look!”

    Mother: “See? I told you it was real magic!”

    (As if on cue, my coworker comes out from behind a trick-or-treat door, dressed as [Main Franchise Character] and signing another child’s autograph. The girl looks starstruck.)

    Girl: “Oh. My. GOSH.”

    Mother: *laughing* “Aaaaaaaand that’s just made our Halloween.”

    (It made mine, too!)

    Trying To Con The Family Business

    | Exeter, England, UK | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

    (I take a male customer’s order with him constantly asking about prices.)

    Customer: “Oh, can we have the family discount?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I always get a discount here. The owner lets me.”

    Me: “He hasn’t told me anything…”

    Customer: “Yeah, the owner is my brother and he always gives me the family discount.”

    Me: “Okay, then… let me just ask him.”

    (I signal the owner over as the customer panics and goes bright red. His family also start nudging him.)

    Me: “Uh, your brother wants a discount.”

    (The customer sheepishly smiles as the owner explodes in happiness.)

    Owner: “Oh, my God, Jenny! I didn’t know you’d had a sex change. If you wanted to do that you could have at least kept your hair. Also you’ve put on a h*** of a lot of weight and lost over a foot in height! Why would you do that?”

    (The whole restaurant was looking and the customer’s family rushed him out quicker than the owner could continue talking. Some bosses are awesome.)

    Thinks She’s The Big Cheese

    | Canada | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I used to work for a large franchise, but at a small location at which we stopped serving shredded cheese on sandwiches for a while. During this period, a woman comes in with her two preteen sons, and everything is just fine until we get to the cheese.)

    Me: “And what kind of cheese would you like?”

    Customer: “Shredded, please.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, we don’t serve shredded on sandwiches.”

    Customer: “What? But I always have shredded.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but the shredded cheese is more expensive than the regular, and since we’re a small location, we need to save it to season our cheese bread.”

    (The customer is getting visibly angry now.)

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! I’ve walked out of stores without shredded cheese before! I’m a paying customer! You’re supposed to give me what I want!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m not allowed to serve shredded cheese. If you like, I can give you [two kinds of our regular cheese that are in the shredded cheese]. It’s basically the same thing, it just won’t be shredded.”

    Customer: “I CAN’T believe this. How hard is it to shred cheese?! I’ve walked out of stores before!”

    Me: “The cheese comes pre-shredded or pre-cut. I have no possible way of shredding the cheese here.”

    Customer: “I am a paying customer! That other cheese tastes like plastic! I should speak to your manager about this! I’m paying and I should get what I want!”

    (Suddenly, one of the customer’s sons, who has been looking increasingly uncomfortable, speaks up:)

    Customer’s Son: “Mom. It’s just CHEESE.”

    Customer: “I know but as a paying customer I should be getting what I want!”

    (She didn’t walk out, but she kept repeating that she was a “paying customer” through the whole transaction. Her poor sons looked like they wished the ground would swallow them up.)

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