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    Category: Family & Kids

    Talentless Pool

    | Wisconsin, USA | Family & Kids

    (A customer approaches the front desk.)

    Customer: “Can I get a large gauze and band aid? And maybe some ointment as well?”

    Me: “What happened?”

    Customer: “My son swam into the pool wall, and he cut his head open.”

    Me: “Is he okay?”

    Customer: “Yeah, just bleeding. He’s so used to swimming in the ocean with no walls. Poor thing.”

    Me: “How old is your son?”

    Customer: “19.”

    Humor Is Generational

    | San Jose, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

    (A customer of about 85 years old approaches customer service. It is Father’s Day.)

    Customer: “Where do you keep your belts?”

    Me: “Over in the men’s department.”

    Customer: “And where do you keep your grooming sets?”

    Me: “In the men’s department as well.”

    Customer: “Oh thanks! I’m buying a Father’s day present for my Dad and Grandfather!”

    (I tell him he’s welcome and turn back to what I was doing. I noticed a few seconds later he’s still there.)

    Me: “Is there something else I can help you with?”

    Customer: *grinning widely* “Do you believe me?!”

    Obviously Not A People Person

    | New York City, NY, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (We have booths at which we can only seat groups of 3 or more. There is a couple with their young child sitting in one. A couple came in and I went to seat them.)

    Me: “Hi, are you here to eat, or are you just having some drinks?”

    Customer: “Eating, can we take a booth?”

    Me: “Sorry, but we need to save them for groups of three or more.”

    Customer: “What about them?” *motions at the couple with their child*

    Me: “They have 3 people sitting there.”

    Customer: “What? Babies aren’t people!”

    Out Of Tune With The Conversation

    | Louisville, KY, USA | Family & Kids, Musical Mayhem

    (I’ve worked at this camp on and off for a few years, and a lot of the kids remember me from previous years.)

    Kid #1: “Why weren’t you here last year?”

    Me: “This camp and band camp were at the same time, so I chose to go to band camp since it was the last time I’d be with my friends.”

    Kid #1: “That’s so cool! What do you play?”

    Me: “Clarinet in band, but I also play piano.”

    Kid #1: “I play piano too!”

    (We continue talking about different instruments we play when another girl joins in.)

    Kid #2: “I play an instrument, too.”

    Me: “Really? Do you play piano too, or something?”

    Kid #2: “Well, I listen to Taylor Swift. Does that count?”

    A Heated Topic, Part 2

    | Kinnelon, NJ, USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV

    (A woman and her two younger children go in to see a kid-friendly movie. Ten minutes later she comes up to me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but there is a preview on right now with a man on fire!”

    Me: “A man on fire? Okay, that shouldn’t be the right preview.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous. I have kids in there!”

    (I check the theater.)

    Me: “Ma’am, this is a preview for Fantastic Four. The man on fire is a super hero. His special ability is that he can turn into a fireball and fly around.”

    Customer: “I don’t care who it is, he shouldn’t be on fire!”

    Related:
    A Heated Topic

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