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    Category: Family & Kids

    Lack Of Heir Conditioning

    | South Carolina, USASouth Carolina, USA | Family & Kids

    Tenant: “The heat in my home hasn’t worked all winter! Do you know how much my children have suffered?”

    Me: “Ma’am, we can’t fix the problem if we don’t know about it. Why didn’t you call earlier?”

    Tenant: “I’ve already had my uncle look at the heater. It’s not fixable, and you owe me $60 for having him confirm that.”

    Me: “By law, we have to supply you with heat. We would have replaced your heater and given you wood to burn while doing so.”

    Tenant: “That’s okay. I’m burning the fence.”

    Me: “The privacy fence?”

    Tenant: “Yes! My babies need to be warm.”

    Me: “That’s treated wood.”

    Tenant: “My babies need to be warm!”

    Prices Are Frozen

    | Cedar Rapids, IA, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (Two young children under the age of 10 walk into the shop without an adult.)

    Boy: “Is the ice cream free?”

    Me: “No.”

    Boy: “How much is it?”

    Me: “The cheapest one is a little over a dollar.”

    (Both the children go into the restroom for a while before coming out again.)

    Boy: “How much is the ice cream now?”

    Blood Must Run Thick In Their Family

    | Austin, TX, USA | Family & Kids

    (I am calling a mother about her 3-year-old son, who is exhibiting signs of pink-eye.)

    Me: “I’m calling from [camp name] about your son.”

    Customer: “Oh no, is he all right?”

    Me: “Well, there seems to be something wrong with his eye. It’s swollen and he hasn’t been able to stop itching it, and it’s very red and inflamed.”

    Customer: “Is he bleeding?”

    Me: “Well, no. But I think it might be a good idea to pick him up and maybe take him to your family doctor.”

    Customer: “So he’s not bleeding?”

    Me: *pause* “No. But these symptoms can sometimes be indicators of something serious and often contagious. I really think you should come get him.”

    Customer: “Why are you calling me if he’s not bleeding?”

    Age Or Gender Gap

    | Gloucestershire, UK | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

    (A woman and her daughter are standing by the cigarette counter where I am working.)

    Child: “Mummy, can I have a chocolate bar?”

    Mother: “Okay. Pick the one you want and give it to the man.”

    (There is a long, tense pause as the child and I look at one another.)

    Child: *in a very condescending tone* “Mummy. I think it’s a lady.”

    Me: “She is correct.”

    Barking Up The Wrong Tree

    | United Kingdom | Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

    (An old woman comes into the store, looking very distressed.)

    Customer: “Have you seen my cat?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “He looks like this.” *holds up a badly drawn picture* “I got my grandson to draw me it.”

    Me: “I don’t think you’ll find your lost cat with that picture.”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “It’s a dog.”

    Customer: “Oh. But can you put this up in your shop window for me though? Just give him some pointy ears.”

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