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    Category: Family & Kids

    This Child Has Few Reservations

    | Asheville, NC, USA | Family & Kids

    Child: “Excuse me, but I have a question.”

    Me: “What is it?”

    Child: “Do you believe in Native Americans?”

    Me: *slight pause* “Yes. Yes, I do.”

    Child: “That’s good to know.”

    Acting Juvie-nile

    | Culver City, CA, USA | Family & Kids

    (While stocking the shelves I overhear a young boy from a few aisles over. He sounds very distressed.)

    Boy: “What?! Are you freaking kidding me? Nuh-uh! No way!”

    (The kid sounded like he was really in trouble, so my co-worker and I go to investigate. He is sitting in front of the back-to-school section with his mother.)

    Boy: “I have to go back to school!? What do you mean I have to go back?! I just got out!”

    DJ Freud, Featuring The Oedipus Complexes

    | Houston, TX, USA | Family & Kids, Funny Names, Rude & Risque

    (I work in the beauty department and a customer comes up to me).

    Customer: “I need a face wash for my son that will get rid of the semen on his face.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Are you deaf? He is too oily!”

    Me: “You mean sebum?”

    (The customer turns the brightest shade of red and runs out the store.)

    Count-er Productive

    | Hershey, PA, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I work as a hostess at a restaurant in a busy tourist area. As a result, we are frequently on a wait.)

    Me: “Hi! How many today?”

    Customer: “Six please.”

    (Note, our biggest tables are meant for six.)

    Me: “Great! And how many children’s menus for you?”

    Customer: “I have a four year old, so only one.”

    Me: “Okay! Take a seat and I’ll call you when your table’s ready.”

    (Since we were especially busy, the party waited for about twenty minutes. When a table is finally available, I call them up. The six walk up, carrying two toddlers and pushing a baby carrier with an infant inside.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I thought you said there were six?”

    Customer: “There are only six that are going to eat! Wait, you mean my kids count?”

    Me: “There is not room for nine at that table. I’m afraid you’re going to have to wait longer.”

    Customer: *storming out* “I’m going to a place that doesn’t count my kids!”

    Sales (Baby) Boom

    | Denver, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

    (The store allows you to pay off your store credit card bill at any of their stores. I was in the store paying off the company’s bill at one of the regular checkout stations. I had my 5 month old son with me in his carrier, which I put on the counter while the clerk was scanning the statement stub and the check. Another customer came up behind us, saw the carrier, but no items, on the counter and the clerk scanning a check.)

    Customer: “Is she buying a baby?”

    Clerk: *without missing a beat* “Yep, she got the last one on the shelf.”

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