October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Family & Kids

This iPhone Doesn’t Fall Far From The Tree

| Cedar Park, TX, USA | Family & Kids

(I’m putting up items in the electronics section at my store. A small child is playing with a phone on display. The mother notices, grabs the phone, and puts it down.)

Mother: “Son, don’t play with that!”

Son: “Why not?”

Mother: “You’re not smart, so you don’t need a smartphone!”

Forbidden Fruits (& Veggies)

| Washington, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(A middle-aged woman, her mother, and her three year old walk into my sandwich shop.)

Mother: *to child* “What do you want today?”

Child: “A samminch!”

Mother: “Okay, what kind?”

Child: “A samminch!”

Mother: “Do you want turkey?”

Child: “NO!”

Mother: “Do you want ham?”

Child: “NO!”


Patience Is Priceless

| USA | Family & Kids, Money, Top

(Today I am the only teller working at the bank, as the rest of my coworkers have called in sick. A little boy whose head barely peeks over the counter waves his hand with a bag of coins in it.)

Boy: “I want to put this on my savings account! I worked hard! I’m saving money for my girlfriend’s birthday!”

(As it happens the cash counting machine is broken, so I have to count them by hand.)

Me: “All right, let’s see how much you got there!” *starts adding up the pennies*

(The customer behind the boy, an elderly woman, is growing very impatient.)

Woman: “Oh, come on! I’ve got more to do!”

Me: “Just a moment, ma’am.” *continues counting*

Woman: *angry* “Hurry up! My time is valuable!”

Me: *finally finished counting* “That’s $31.75! You can buy her a handsome gift!”

Boy: *smiles* “Yeah, she’ll be happy! Bye!” *rushes outside*

Me: “Bye!” *to the woman* “How can I help you?”

Woman: *confused* “Oh…I forgot…”

Me: “Please step aside, then, so I can help the next customer…”

Woman: *face turns red, mumbles, leaves the bank*

We Will We Will Praise You

| Ohio, USA | Family & Kids, Religion

(I volunteer at a daycare. The daycare is very Christian, so we have a Christian radio station playing at all time. A song the teacher likes comes on. Note that it is a very slow “Praise the Lord and His angels”-type song.)

Teacher: “I like this song!”

Little girl #1: “Me too! Mommy has it on all the time!”

Teacher: “What about you, [Little girl #2]? Do you know this song?”

Little Girl #2: “No, but I know ‘We Will Rock You.'”

Teacher: “Um—”

Me: “Close enough.”

Future Budget Oversight Leaders Of America

| USA | Family & Kids

(I overhear a little boy around five years old asking his mother for lots of expensive toys.)

Mother: “We can’t afford six. Just pick one and put the rest back.”

Boy: “Just tell daddy to stop drinking beer this month!”

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