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    Category: Family & Kids

    Ah, Mothers, Part 5

    | California, USA | Family & Kids

    Me: “Your vehicle is a total loss.”

    Customer: “My vehicle is in great condition!”

    Me: “It’s 14 years old and it costs more to repair your vehicle than it’s worth.”

    Customer: “Well, my son is 14 years old and he’s not falling apart!”

    Related:
    Ah, Mothers, Part 4
    Ah, Mothers, Part 3
    Ah, Mothers, Part 2
    Ah, Mothers

    Not So Mellow Jello

    | Wood Dale, IL, USA | Family & Kids, Underaged

    Me: “That will be $*.** for 3 packs of jello. Will there be anything else for you today?”

    Customer: “No, no thank you. My granddaughter is turning 21!”

    Me: “How nice! Are these for her party?”

    Customer: “She is having a party tonight and asked me to buy her jello so she could have jello shots. I’m so glad she is not drinking and instead just having jello. I must have raised her right!”

    Talentless Pool

    | Wisconsin, USA | Family & Kids

    (A customer approaches the front desk.)

    Customer: “Can I get a large gauze and band aid? And maybe some ointment as well?”

    Me: “What happened?”

    Customer: “My son swam into the pool wall, and he cut his head open.”

    Me: “Is he okay?”

    Customer: “Yeah, just bleeding. He’s so used to swimming in the ocean with no walls. Poor thing.”

    Me: “How old is your son?”

    Customer: “19.”

    Humor Is Generational

    | San Jose, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

    (A customer of about 85 years old approaches customer service. It is Father’s Day.)

    Customer: “Where do you keep your belts?”

    Me: “Over in the men’s department.”

    Customer: “And where do you keep your grooming sets?”

    Me: “In the men’s department as well.”

    Customer: “Oh thanks! I’m buying a Father’s day present for my Dad and Grandfather!”

    (I tell him he’s welcome and turn back to what I was doing. I noticed a few seconds later he’s still there.)

    Me: “Is there something else I can help you with?”

    Customer: *grinning widely* “Do you believe me?!”

    Obviously Not A People Person

    | New York City, NY, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (We have booths at which we can only seat groups of 3 or more. There is a couple with their young child sitting in one. A couple came in and I went to seat them.)

    Me: “Hi, are you here to eat, or are you just having some drinks?”

    Customer: “Eating, can we take a booth?”

    Me: “Sorry, but we need to save them for groups of three or more.”

    Customer: “What about them?” *motions at the couple with their child*

    Me: “They have 3 people sitting there.”

    Customer: “What? Babies aren’t people!”

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