Category: Family & Kids

Annoying Pneumonia

| Maryland, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I am a nurse sitting with a mother whose son passed out during school. I am asking her some questions while he is examined.)

Me: “Has he complained of any discomfort or anything strange such as headaches, dizziness, nausea, fatigue, chest pains, muscle aches, difficulty breathing?”

Mother: “Well, he was complaining that his chest hurt. He’s also been breathing heavily lately and coughing a lot.”

Me: “When did this start?”

Mother: “Oh, I don’t know…five or six days ago?”

Me: “Your son has been complaining of chest pains and difficulty breathing for almost a week? Why didn’t you take him to the doctor?”

Mother: “I thought he was just trying to get attention. You know kids–they always want attention!”

Family Loosely Interpreted

| Newburgh, IN, USA | Family & Kids

(I work in the video game section of a large retail store. I overhear this couple talking about our selection of video games.)

Woman: “Why do they sell Grand Theft Auto? This is supposed to be a family friendly store!”

Husband: “They are family friendly. Some families just have teenagers that like to pretend to steal cars and punch people.”

Through Ickiness And In Health

| East Lansing, MI, USA | Family & Kids

(I answer a lot of calls from parents concerned about the living arrangements in our dorm rooms.)

Parent: “So, what’s the deal with co-ed floors?”

Me: “Well, most of our floors are co-ed by wing, but a few are co-ed by suite, where one suite is all boys, and next door is all girls. Your student will never have to share a room or bathroom with the opposite gender.”

Parent: “Why would anyone want to do that?”

Me: “Well, some people find that living with the opposite gender is fun.”

Parent: “Yeah, but I mean, boys are icky!”

Me: *speechless*

Parent: “Don’t get me wrong. I’ve lived with my husband for 20 years, but…eww!”

I Become Mom, Destroyer Of Worlds

| Keller, TX, USA | Family & Kids

(I’m organizing papers for auditions when a little girl and her mom comes in. The little girl leans over my desk and starts talking to me.)

Girl: “Santa Claus doesn’t exist.”

Me: “Why do you think that?”

Girl: “Because my toys say they’re made in China! That’s not the North Pole!”

(The little girl runs off with a disappointed look on her face. The mom looks over at me.)

Mom: “Just wait ’til she hears about the tooth fairy. She’ll be devastated!”*walks away with a grin on her face*

The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 7

| United Kingdom | Family & Kids

(I hand out a vocabulary list to a class of 8-9 year olds.)

Me: “Does anyone know any of the words?”

Student: “I know what twilight means!”

Me: “Go on, tell us what you think it means.”

Student: “Actually, I’m not completely sure, but it’s got something to do with vampires…”

Related:
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 6
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 5
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 4
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 3
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 2
The Twilight Of Our Literacy

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