Featured Story:
  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
    (3,034 thumbs up)
  • Category: Family & Kids

    Sadly Wasn’t Born Yesterday, Part 2

    | Texas, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    Me: “Thank you for calling [hospital]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah. I had a baby at your hospital about a week ago, and when I was discharged I got a lot of papers and some samples. One of the papers says something about a PKU test.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. How can I help you with that?”

    Caller: “Well, it says on this paper that I need to bring my ‘new arrival’ to registration and they would help me get the PKU test done. I want you to know that I have looked all through the papers and stuff you gave me and I can’t find anything marked ‘new arrival’. What is this ‘new arrival’ I am supposed to bring with me when I come in?”

    Me: “Ma’am, that would be your infant child…your new baby.”

    Caller: “Oh my freaking God! If you mean ‘new baby’, then write ‘new baby’! Not everyone understands this hospital medical jargon!”

    Related:
    Sadly Wasn’t Born Yesterday

    Children Get Sick Periodically

    | New York, New York, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (A woman walks into the store with her young daughter. Her daughter looks feverish and is sniffling.)

    Customer: “Oh look honey, they have candy bars. Go get yourself one while mommy shops for her things.”

    (The little girl walks up to the counter and takes a candy bar.)

    Me: “Are you feeling okay, little girl?”

    Daughter: “My mommy says as long as she gets her tampons, I’ll feel better.”

    (The girl suddenly vomits all over the candy bars and on the counter.)

    Daughter: “QUICK MOMMY! GET YOUR TAMPONS!”

    Winding Down On Dialing Up

    | Hawaii, USA | Family & Kids, Technology

    Me: “Thank you for contacting technical support. How can I help you?”

    Customer: *whispering* “Can you shut my internet off for four hours?”

    Me: “I could disable the port, but may I ask why?”

    Customer: *whispering* “My son has been locked in his room since last night and he won’t come out or talk to me. He hasn’t eaten breakfast yet and it’s 3 pm.”

    Me: “I suppose I could, however, you will need to call us to re-enable your connection.”

    Customer: “Thank you! I don’t know what he’s doing in there on the computer. It’s been like this since we got your internet.”

    Me: “Your connection has been disabled. Is there anything else I can do for you tonight?”

    Customer: “No, thank you. I hope he comes out soon!”

    Tron’s Legacy

    | Florida, USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV

    (I work at a certain attraction where you run, jump and dance at the video capture station, then that video is put into a video game and the avatar is yourself. A little girl approaches.)

    Me: “Hello sweetheart, have you played before?”

    Girl: “No.”

    Me: “Well, basically you run jump and dance in here. Then, our computers put you into the video game!”

    Girl: “But…how do we get out of the video game?”

    Pray They’re Talking About Baby Goats

    | Texas, USA | Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

    (This takes place after setting up installation date for the caller’s service.)

    Me: “Now, do you have any pets or animals that we need the technician to know about?”

    Caller: “Nah, he’ll be alright. I’ll just tie my kids up in the back-yard.”

    Page 141/156First...139140141142143...Last