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    Category: Family & Kids

    Not So Pretty In Pink

    | New York, NY, USA | Family & Kids

    (A customer is trying on a black and white top by a well known designer and it fits her very well. Her daughter is with her.)

    Customer: “I just wish this wasn’t black and white. I want something brighter.”

    Me: “Well, we do have a dress by the same designer which has the same silhouette in pink. I think it would look good with your complexion and hair color.”

    Customer: “No thanks. My daughter doesn’t think I look good in pink so I’m going to have to listen to her on this.”

    (The customer’s five-year old daughter solemnly nods with approval.)

    Sins Of The Father, Part 2

    | Kalamazoo, MI, USA | Family & Kids, Religion, Technology

    (My dad builds websites from home, but when’s he’s out I answer his office phone and take notes for him. I am a 20 year old female, and my father is a 55 year old male.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [my father]‘s office, how may I help you”

    Customer: “Hello, I need to ask you a question about this design template.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. My dad isn’t in right now but I can take a message.”

    Customer: “Oh, good heavens! You know, you sound exactly like your father.”

    Me: “Okay?”

    Customer: “Are you Christian?”

    Me: “No, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Well that must be it then. All you heathens sound the same to me. Well, I’ll call back.” *hangs up*

    Related:
    Sins Of The Father

    Lack Of Heir Conditioning

    | South Carolina, USASouth Carolina, USA | Family & Kids

    Tenant: “The heat in my home hasn’t worked all winter! Do you know how much my children have suffered?”

    Me: “Ma’am, we can’t fix the problem if we don’t know about it. Why didn’t you call earlier?”

    Tenant: “I’ve already had my uncle look at the heater. It’s not fixable, and you owe me $60 for having him confirm that.”

    Me: “By law, we have to supply you with heat. We would have replaced your heater and given you wood to burn while doing so.”

    Tenant: “That’s okay. I’m burning the fence.”

    Me: “The privacy fence?”

    Tenant: “Yes! My babies need to be warm.”

    Me: “That’s treated wood.”

    Tenant: “My babies need to be warm!”

    Prices Are Frozen

    | Cedar Rapids, IA, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (Two young children under the age of 10 walk into the shop without an adult.)

    Boy: “Is the ice cream free?”

    Me: “No.”

    Boy: “How much is it?”

    Me: “The cheapest one is a little over a dollar.”

    (Both the children go into the restroom for a while before coming out again.)

    Boy: “How much is the ice cream now?”

    Blood Must Run Thick In Their Family

    | Austin, TX, USA | Family & Kids

    (I am calling a mother about her 3-year-old son, who is exhibiting signs of pink-eye.)

    Me: “I’m calling from [camp name] about your son.”

    Customer: “Oh no, is he all right?”

    Me: “Well, there seems to be something wrong with his eye. It’s swollen and he hasn’t been able to stop itching it, and it’s very red and inflamed.”

    Customer: “Is he bleeding?”

    Me: “Well, no. But I think it might be a good idea to pick him up and maybe take him to your family doctor.”

    Customer: “So he’s not bleeding?”

    Me: *pause* “No. But these symptoms can sometimes be indicators of something serious and often contagious. I really think you should come get him.”

    Customer: “Why are you calling me if he’s not bleeding?”

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