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    Category: Family & Kids

    Count-er Productive

    | Hershey, PA, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I work as a hostess at a restaurant in a busy tourist area. As a result, we are frequently on a wait.)

    Me: “Hi! How many today?”

    Customer: “Six please.”

    (Note, our biggest tables are meant for six.)

    Me: “Great! And how many children’s menus for you?”

    Customer: “I have a four year old, so only one.”

    Me: “Okay! Take a seat and I’ll call you when your table’s ready.”

    (Since we were especially busy, the party waited for about twenty minutes. When a table is finally available, I call them up. The six walk up, carrying two toddlers and pushing a baby carrier with an infant inside.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I thought you said there were six?”

    Customer: “There are only six that are going to eat! Wait, you mean my kids count?”

    Me: “There is not room for nine at that table. I’m afraid you’re going to have to wait longer.”

    Customer: *storming out* “I’m going to a place that doesn’t count my kids!”

    Sales (Baby) Boom

    | Denver, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

    (The store allows you to pay off your store credit card bill at any of their stores. I was in the store paying off the company’s bill at one of the regular checkout stations. I had my 5 month old son with me in his carrier, which I put on the counter while the clerk was scanning the statement stub and the check. Another customer came up behind us, saw the carrier, but no items, on the counter and the clerk scanning a check.)

    Customer: “Is she buying a baby?”

    Clerk: *without missing a beat* “Yep, she got the last one on the shelf.”

    Ah, Mothers, Part 6

    | New Jersey, USA | Family & Kids

    (The child I’m working with is crying, so I go outside to talk to the mother.)

    Me: “Your child seems to have some separation anxiety, ma’am. It’s against the rules, but I could let you stay and watch her work so she’ll feel better.”

    Mother: “Oh, I think she’ll be fine after awhile. See, she’s been upset since we moved here from Chicago.”

    Me: “Yeah, that’s difficult for a child sometimes.”

    Mother: “But don’t tell her we moved, okay? We told her we were only going on a vacation. She has no idea we’re not going back.”

    Related:
    Ah, Mothers, Part 5
    Ah, Mothers, Part 4
    Ah, Mothers, Part 3
    Ah, Mothers, Part 2
    Ah, Mothers

    Go Directly To School, Do Not Pass Go

    | Oxford, UK | Books & Reading, Family & Kids

    Customer: “Hi, I need to buy Monopoly.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We don’t actually sell board games.”

    Customer: “Oh? Why not?”

    Me: “Well, this is a bookshop. We pretty much only sell books.”

    Customer: “Can I get the book of Monopoly?”

    Me: “I’m not sure we have any books about Monopoly the game, but I can have a look on our system.” *I check the system* “Yes, I’m sorry. The only books we have are about monopolies in finance.”

    Customer: “Maybe that will do? Does it come with the hat and everything?”

    Me: “It’s a book, not a board game so there aren’t any player pieces or anything, and we don’t actually have any books about the board game monopoly either. I think if you’re interested in Monopoly the game, you should go to [store] across the street.”

    Customer: “Okay, maybe I’ll try that. While I’m here though, do you have that one with the candlestick and the library?”

    Me: “Cluedo?” (Called ‘Clue’ in the USA.) “Again, I’m afraid it’s a board game so [store] across the street is your best bet.”

    Customer: “How do you expect kids to like reading when you don’t sell anything they’d want to read?!”

    (Not One Of) History’s Mysteries

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, History, Top

    (I am helping a little boy find a children’s book on Native American history for a book report.)

    Me: “I think this one will come in handy. It’s all about the different Native American tribes and traditions. It even includes a large map showing where the Native American tribes lived.”

    Little Boy: “Thank you!”

    (He walks away with his book and an adult customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Why did you do that?”

    Me: “Do what?”

    Customer: “Tell him those are real.”

    Me: “Native Americans?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “Because they are real.”

    Customer: “No! They only exist in movies with cowboys!”

    Me: “I can assure you that Native Americans exist.”

    Customer: *mocking* “I suppose you believe cowboys really existed, too?”

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