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    Category: Family & Kids

    A Golden Snitch Short Of A Quidditch Match

    | Bay Area, CA, USA | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Movies & TV

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Caller: “This a bookstore?”

    Me: “Yes, this is a bookstore.”

    Caller: “Oh. I need the 8th Harry Potter book.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but there are only 7 Harry Potter books.”

    Caller: “But I need the 8th one.”

    Me: “There are only 7 books, sir.”

    Caller: “Why?”

    Me: “Because there are only 7 years at Hogwarts.”

    Caller: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “Sir, have you read the Harry Potter books?”

    Caller: “No, my son reads them and he finished the 7th one and asked me to get the 8th one.”

    Me: “Sir, if he read the 7th one, he would know that that was the final book in the series.”

    Caller: “But he wants to read it. What can I do?”

    Me: “Contact the author?”

    Caller: “Do you have his number?”

    Me: “Do I have J.K. Rowling’s number?”

    Caller: “Yes.”

    Me: “No. I… uh… don’t happen to have that on me.”

    Caller: “Oh. Can you tell my son that there are only 7?”

    Me: “No, I’m sure you’re quite capable of doing that all on your own.”

    Caller: “He will be very upset!” *hangs up*

    Ah Fathers, Part 4

    | California, USA | Family & Kids

    (A customer walks up to the counter in a very aggressive way.)

    Customer: “You sold a very violent game to my 14 year old son!”

    Me: “I apologize, which game did we sell him?”

    (The customer hands me copy of the game.)

    Me: “Sir, this games is rated "M" we won’t sell this game to anyone under the age of 17 without proper I.D. Are you sure he got it here?”

    Customer: “Yeah!” *hands me receipt*

    (The receipt had been printed at my register, and was marked for earlier that day.)

    Me: “The only copy of this game we sold today was sold to a 21 year old.”

    Customer: “Well he acts like a 14 year old!”

    Related:
    Ah, Fathers, Part 3
    Ah, Fathers, Part 2
    Ah, Fathers

    Customers To Keep You On Your Toes

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Family & Kids, School

    (My husband and I inherited a dance studio from his mother and we’re both full-time teachers there. Naturally, our five-year-old spends a lot of time with us at the studio. Her father and I were playing "Swan Lake" with her one day in one of the dance studios after all the classes were over when a mother and her daughter came in.)

    Customer: “Excuse me!”

    Me: “Can I help you? Classes are over for the day.”

    Customer: “I would like to organize one-on-one private lessons with you for my daughter.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t do private lessons.”

    Customer: “So why is he teaching that little girl how to do a lift?”

    Me: “That’s our daughter. He’s not teaching her anything, he’s just picking her up. We were playing a game.”

    Customer: “I demand you give my child private lessons!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’ve just told you, we don’t do that here.”

    Customer: “She’s been in your class for two years!”

    Me: “Yes, I know.”

    Customer: “That little girl isn’t even old enough to be in your class.”

    Me: “No, she’s not, but she’s my daughter. She’s been exposed to ballet since she was a baby.”

    Customer: “So has my child! She knows culture!”

    Me: “I understand, ma’am, but I just can’t give her private lessons.”

    Customer: “Why are you letting her do it, then?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’ve told you already, she’s my daughter. She gets private lessons with me whether she likes it or not. We live together.”

    Customer: “So if I send my daughter to live with you, will you teach her?”

    Me: “Ma’am, you can’t send your daughter to live with us.”

    My Daughter: “Mommy! Look at me!”

    Customer: “Oh, she really is your daughter? I thought you were lying. See you tomorrow for class!”

    The Great Emancipator Died Sooner Than Later

    | Washington, DC, USA | Family & Kids

    (I work at a historic site from the American Civil War. I am talking to a 7-year old child.)

    Small Child: “Who shot President Lincoln?”

    Me: “He was shot by a Southern sympathizer named John Wilkes Booth.”

    Small Child: “But why did he want to kill the president?”

    Me: “Well, the North and the South were at war, and Booth thought that if he killed President Lincoln, it might help the South win.”

    Small Child: “Oh…so were you here when it happened?”

    Telling A Tall Tale

    | United Kingdom | Family & Kids

    (I work on a ride with a height restriction of 1.3 metres, and I have just rejected a young girl who was well under the restriction when her father storms up to me.)

    Customer: “Why the h*** did you say my daughter couldn’t come on your ride? She’s been queuing for nearly an hour!”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but the height restrictions are clearly stated in the brochure that you’re holding and at the beginning of the queuing area for the ride.”

    Customer: “I’ve paid for her to come into this park and you’re telling me she can’t go on the rides?”

    Me: “Sir, there are plenty of rides that she can go on that have lower height restrictions, but unfortunately she’s too small for this one.”

    Customer: “Well, she was tall enough last year!”

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