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    Category: Family & Kids

    From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 4

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV

    (A few of us employees had just made a cup of ‘heart-stopper’, popcorn with way too much butter and salt, between shows. A mother and her son walk up to the counter.)

    Son: “What’s that?”

    Me: “We call it the heart-stopper.”

    Son: “Can I try some?”

    Me: “That’s up to your mom.”

    (She gives consent and the kid really likes it and starts eating several pieces.)

    Me: “Hey, slow down or you’ll wake up fat tomorrow morning!”

    Son: “Woah! Is that what happened to you?”

    Related:
    From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 3
    From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 2
    From The Mouth Of Babes

    Not Quite Getting To Beirut Of The Matter

    | Sydney, Australia | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (An elderly man, his son and a nurse stop by the hospital cafe. The man is looking at the soft drinks in the fridge.)

    Man: “I want a lemonade!”

    Me: “Are you allowed to have lemonade?” *to son* “Isn’t he diabetic?”

    Son: “No, he’s Lebanese.”

    Very Old Lang Syne

    | United Kingdom | Family & Kids

    (I work in a museum in Scotland, where I do activity sessions for young children. I am showing them some artifacts that were originally brought to Scotland by the Romans.)

    Me: “These were brought to Scotland around 2000 years ago by an invading army. Who do you think this could’ve been?”

    Child: “Hitler!”

    Me: “Well, it was a bit early for Hitler.”

    Child: “Robert Burns!”

    A Not So Pregnant Pause For Thought

    | United Kingdom | Family & Kids, Money

    Customer: “Can I have an adult and two students for [film]?”

    (The film is rated ‘15’, and the two children with her look like they might not be old enough.)

    Me: “Can I just ask your dates of birth?”

    First Child: “September 1995.”

    Second child: “Umm…”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t sell you the tickets as your son can’t give me a date of birth to confirm he is 15.”

    Customer: “Oh, for God’s sake! He was born in August 1995. They’re my children. I think I know how old they are! Now will you sell us the tickets!”

    Me: “Wait, they’re both your children?”

    Customer: *annoyed* “Yes!”

    Me: “And they were only born a month apart?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “You have to be pregnant for nine months.”

    Customer: “Yes! So?”

    Customer: *realises*

    (The customer swears and walks off.)

    Honesty Is Not Always The Best Policy

    | Batesville, AR, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Top

    Me: “Okay, your total is $123.42.”

    Customer: “Did you remember to add my discount?”

    Me: “What discount?”

    Customer: “My five finger discount.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “My five finger discount. My son comes in here all the time and says he gets a five finger discount.”

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