Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Motherly Advice To Mother
    (1,578 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Return Of The Geeks!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Family & Kids

    Ah, Mothers, Part 6

    | New Jersey, USA | Family & Kids

    (The child I’m working with is crying, so I go outside to talk to the mother.)

    Me: “Your child seems to have some separation anxiety, ma’am. It’s against the rules, but I could let you stay and watch her work so she’ll feel better.”

    Mother: “Oh, I think she’ll be fine after awhile. See, she’s been upset since we moved here from Chicago.”

    Me: “Yeah, that’s difficult for a child sometimes.”

    Mother: “But don’t tell her we moved, okay? We told her we were only going on a vacation. She has no idea we’re not going back.”

    Related:
    Ah, Mothers, Part 5
    Ah, Mothers, Part 4
    Ah, Mothers, Part 3
    Ah, Mothers, Part 2
    Ah, Mothers

    Go Directly To School, Do Not Pass Go

    | Oxford, UK | Books & Reading, Family & Kids

    Customer: “Hi, I need to buy Monopoly.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We don’t actually sell board games.”

    Customer: “Oh? Why not?”

    Me: “Well, this is a bookshop. We pretty much only sell books.”

    Customer: “Can I get the book of Monopoly?”

    Me: “I’m not sure we have any books about Monopoly the game, but I can have a look on our system.” *I check the system* “Yes, I’m sorry. The only books we have are about monopolies in finance.”

    Customer: “Maybe that will do? Does it come with the hat and everything?”

    Me: “It’s a book, not a board game so there aren’t any player pieces or anything, and we don’t actually have any books about the board game monopoly either. I think if you’re interested in Monopoly the game, you should go to [store] across the street.”

    Customer: “Okay, maybe I’ll try that. While I’m here though, do you have that one with the candlestick and the library?”

    Me: “Cluedo?” (Called ‘Clue’ in the USA.) “Again, I’m afraid it’s a board game so [store] across the street is your best bet.”

    Customer: “How do you expect kids to like reading when you don’t sell anything they’d want to read?!”

    (Not One Of) History’s Mysteries

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, History, Top

    (I am helping a little boy find a children’s book on Native American history for a book report.)

    Me: “I think this one will come in handy. It’s all about the different Native American tribes and traditions. It even includes a large map showing where the Native American tribes lived.”

    Little Boy: “Thank you!”

    (He walks away with his book and an adult customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Why did you do that?”

    Me: “Do what?”

    Customer: “Tell him those are real.”

    Me: “Native Americans?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “Because they are real.”

    Customer: “No! They only exist in movies with cowboys!”

    Me: “I can assure you that Native Americans exist.”

    Customer: *mocking* “I suppose you believe cowboys really existed, too?”

    Actions Point Louder Than Words

    | Virginia, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words

    Father: “Hi, I’m here to drop off my son.”

    (I notice there is another child with him, who is of Asian descent.)

    Me: “Is this other child yours too?”

    Father: “Oh no, he’s a foreign exchange student from Japan.”

    Me: “Oh! That’s nice. Does he speak English?”

    Father: “No, none at all, actually.”

    Me: “Well, does your son speak Japanese?”

    Father: “Not a lick.”

    Me: “How are we supposed to communicate with him? This is an outdoor camp, sir. He could get hurt if he can’t understand directions.”

    Father: “I’m sure you’ll be fine. Just point a lot.”

    Related:
    Shogun The Way To Go Home

    I Scream Fraud

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

    Me: “Hello, welcome to [ice cream department]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: *sounding angry* “I just purchased some of your ice cream for my son and now he’s broken out in hives! He has an allergy and all your ingredients should be clearly labelled!”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. It does say that our ice cream is both peanut and gluten free, and our ingredients are available upon request, as they vary, depending on the type of ice cream someone orders.”

    Customer: “Well you didn’t tell me that before! And now my son has broken out in hives! This is all your fault!”

    Me:”May I ask what your son is allergic to?”

    Customer: “Sucrose. I don’t see why this matters.”

    Me: *raises eyebrow* “Our ice cream doesn’t contain sucrose.”

    (At this point, said customer’s young son walks in, looking perfectly fine and eating his ice cream.)

    Customer: *surprised* “I told you to wait outside!” *in a lower voice* “…and out of sight!”

    Page 137/147First...135136137138139...Last