Featured Story:
  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
    (2,798 thumbs up)
  • Category: Family & Kids

    E Is For Close Enough

    | Davenport, IA, USA | Family & Kids

    (Overheard in the video game section of a toy store.)

    Kid: “That’s the game!”

    (The father picks it up to read it as his child waits impatiently.)

    Kid: “That’s the one! Let’s go!”

    Father: “Hang on. I need to see if this is the right game for you.”

    Kid: “But it’s rated ‘E!’ ‘E’ stands for ‘Anybody!’”

    Unfortunately, Stupidity Is Forever

    | Pennsylvania, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Top

    (I have reddish brown hair with the underside dyed teal. Today, my hair is up in a clip, which makes it very visible.)

    Customer: “Ugh, why would you do that to yourself?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, do what?”

    Customer: “Dye your hair that awful color! Are you that desperate for attention?”

    Me: “No, teal is just my favorite color, and it makes me happy. And the great thing about hair is that it isn’t permanent.”

    Customer: “I don’t get you rebellious teenagers.”

    Me: “I’m 24 and very happily married. I’m not trying to rebel against anyone or anything. I just like teal, ma’am.”

    Customer: “What are you going to tell your kids when they ask why mommy has blue hair?”

    Me: “Oh, it’ll definitely be gone by then.”

    Customer: *walks out with a big tramp stamp sticking out from the bottom of her shirt*

    Future Treasury Secretaries Of America

    | Snellville, GA, USA | Family & Kids, Money

    (I am a customer at a sporting goods store. As I am walking towards the restroom, I hear a little boy asking his mom to buy him something.)

    Boy: “Mommy, I want this!”

    Mom: “No, honey, we’re not going to buy that. Let’s go.”

    Boy: “But why?”

    Mom: “We’re not going to buy it because it is a waste of money!”

    Boy: “But we can just buy more money!”

    Rounding Down To The Nearest Child

    , | Assen, The Netherlands | Family & Kids

    (I work in a call center that answers calls from people with broken cars in foreign countries. We always ask how many people are on board of the car.)

    Me: “Are there any children in your car?”

    Customer: “Yes, four children. One of the children is under four. Three are aged between four and twelve and one is older than twelve.”

    Me: “So, you have five children?”

    Customer: “No! Four children!”

    Me: “But, you just mentioned five children.”

    Customer: “Don’t you think I know how many kids I have?”

    Customer, to his wife: “Honey, how many kids do we have?”

    Customer: “I’m sorry. You’re right, I’ve got five children.”

    They’re Cute Even When Caught

    | Hershey, PA, USA | Family & Kids

    (I’m lifeguarding the little kid pool, which has a slide in it, when a little girl walks up to me and tugs on my shorts.)

    Me: “Yes, hun? What’s up?”

    Little girl: “That little boy right there keeps butting in line.”

    (She points to a boy climbing out of the slide.)

    Me: “Alright, dear. I’ll take care of it.”

    (I make eye contact with the boy and motion for him to come over.)

    Me: “Some kids are saying you’ve been cutting in line. Have you?”

    Little boy: *smiles* “Actually, yes, I have!”

    Me: “Are we supposed to cut in line?”

    Little boy: “No, we aren’t. Mommy says it’s not nice.”

    Me: “Then are you gonna keep cutting in line?”

    Little boy: “Not anymore!” *skips away*

    Page 130/156First...128129130131132...Last