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    Category: Family & Kids

    Childhood Innocence, Adulthood Nonsense

    | Germany | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (I work as the cashier of a photographer. A customer and her husband walk in, asking for the photos of their children.)

    Me: *handing them the photos* “Here you go. You have nice-looking children, by the way.”

    Customer: “Thanks, but…can’t you, you know, make my daughter prettier?”

    Me: “Prettier?”

    Customer: “Yes, I mean, look at her!”

    Me: “Madam, I am sure these photographs have been retouched well by my coworkers. If you have any complaints about their work, I can–”

    Customer: “NO! I want this to be remade!”

    Me: “What exactly bothers you about these photos, anyway?”

    Customer: “It’s her boobs. You guys should have made them far bigger!”

    Me: “You want them…bigger?”

    Customer: “Yes! How hard is that?”

    Customer’s husband: *quietly* “Honey, you do realize she is 8 years old?”

    Not So Sweet Sixteen

    | Melbourne, Australia | Family & Kids

    Customer: “Hi! I’m looking to buy an MP3 player for my daughter.”

    Me: “Sure, what capacity were you looking at?”

    Customer: “Hold on.”

    (She takes out a sheet of paper with size specifications and a rather juvenile depiction of the device and hands it to me.)

    Me: *laughs* “Aww, that’s cute! How old is your daughter?”

    Customer: “Sixteen.”

    Me: “Oh.”

    Customer: “Oh, don’t worry! She’s a little kooky.”

    There Is Norway I Can Understand You

    | Trondheim, Norway | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (A young boy, about 12, is walking around confused.)

    Me: *in Norwegian* “Where are your parents?”

    Child: *clearly British* “Why the heck do people here assume I speak bloody Norwegian?”

    Me: *in English* “You’re in Norway.”

    Child: “Oh, yeah.”

    Fighting Ignorance With Ignorance, Part 2

    | NH, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words

    (I am working in the clothing section of a department store when I overhear this conversation. Note: I work with a very nice woman who moved to America from India about ten years ago.)

    Mother: “Did you find everything you needed, hon?”

    Child: “Yep! A really nice Indian lady helped me.”

    Mother: “No, no! We don’t say Indian. We say ‘Native American.’”

    Child: “No, mom, not that kind of Indian. One from India!”

    Mother: “Don’t be silly, hon. We took their country from them, not gave them one.”

    Related:
    Fighting Ignorance With Ignorance

    Children Of The Corn Aisle

    | Athens, GA, USA | Family & Kids, Top

    (A women comes in with six children. They are all whining, complaining, and touching everything they can find.)
     
    Me: “Are they all yours?”
     
    Customer: “Girl, you crazy!?” *she looks at the kids* “Two, Three and Five, raise your hands!”
     
    (Three of the children raise their hands.)
     
    Customer: “They’re my babies. The rest of these, I don’t know. They just follow me around!”

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