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    Category: Family & Kids

    Who’s Teaching Who Manners

    | Minnesota, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I bus tables at a buffet-style restaurant. I approach a table of two middle-aged women and a girl who looks to be around 8 years old.)

    Me: “Hello! I’ll be your service assistant today. How is everything tasting so far?”

    Woman: “Fine.”

    (I walk away and let them continue eating. I return about 10 minutes later.)

    Me: “Why don’t I get these empty plates out of your way?”

    (Both women completely ignore me. I take the plates and start to walk away.)

    Girl: *yells to her mom* “Shouldn’t you say ‘thank you’?!”

    (I start giggling and duck into the bus station. Later, I return to the table to pickup the next round of plates.)

    Both women: *beaming* “Thank you!”

    (The majority of people do not tip us. They end up leaving me $5.)

    Misery Demands Company, Part 2

    | Columbus, OH, USA | Family & Kids

    (Our office has stickers for the kids that come in. A patient’s child spots them on the way out.)

    Child: “Can we get stickers?”

    Patient: *sighing* “Can he have a sticker?”

    Me: “Of course!”

    Patient: *rolls eyes heavily* “Okay…well, don’t get your hopes up.”

    Child: “Do they have SpongeBob or superheroes?”

    Me: “Of course we do!”

    (The patient sticks her hand in container, fiddles around, and pulls her hand out empty despite the container being filled with stickers.)

    Patient: “Nope, looks like they don’t. We’re leaving.”

    Related:
    Misery Demands Company

    Not So Modest Aspirations

    | Europe | Family & Kids, Rude & Risque

    (I’m speaking with a three year old girl as I serve her mother.)

    Me: “Do you like the pharmacy? Do you think you will be a pharmacist when you grow up?”

    Girl: “No! I will be a dancer!”

    Me: “Oh, a dancer! That’s nice! Like in a dance group?”

    Girl: “No! On the pole!”

    Pointing Out The Obvious

    | Luton, UK | Family & Kids, Top

    (A 4-year-old child has trapped her finger in a door, so I’m going over the accident form with her mother when she comes to pick her up.)

    Mother: “Index finger? What the h*** is that?”

    Me: *showing her* “This one here.”

    Mother: “What? That’s a pointer-finger.”

    Me: “Well, yes, but in medicine it’s called the index finger.”

    Mother: “That’s not true. I’ve never heard that. Is that supposed to be funny? Just because I’m a woman–”

    Me: “Well, no–”

    Mother: “Yes, it is! What kind of a man works at a nursery anyway?”

    Child: “A man who knows about fingers!”

    Harry Potter And The Deathly Embarrassments

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV, Top

    (I am the assistant manager at a movie theater. There is a showing of the latest Harry Potter movie that is completely sold out. A pair of teenage girls approaches me to ask for some help. A woman is refusing to let them sit down in the theater, and the movie is starting in about 5 minutes. I go with them and find that their seats are the last two in the theater. The woman in question has three kids, all who look to be younger than 12.)

    Me: “Excuse me, miss, but could you let these two girls sit down? The movie will be starting soon and–”

    Woman: “No. My kids can’t sit by strangers. They might get kidnapped or raped.”

    Me: “I understand that you care about your children very much, but these two girls need to sit here.”

    Woman: *raising voice* “I just told you, my kids can’t sit by strangers! What don’t you get about that?”

    Me: “Ma’am–”

    Woman: “I mean, look at them! That one’s wearing a rapist symbol on her shirt!”

    (She points to one of the girls, who is wearing a shirt with her astrological sign on it.)

    Me: “Ma’am, if you’re going to make a scene, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

    (The woman continues to raise her voice at me and insist that these girls cannot sit down here. The movie is already going to be delayed at this point, and the two girls are looking visibly upset. I go ahead and call for security. At this point, the woman realizes that she’s been beaten, so she makes one last stand.)

    Woman: *standing up, at the top of her lungs* “Help! These girls are touching my kids!”

    (Security comes and holds her in their office for the rest of the movie. Her kids got to stay for the movie. Afterwards, I run into her again.)

    Woman: “I’m going to call the police on you! You let those girls touch my kids!”

    Child: *in tears* “Mom, you’re so embarrassing!”

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