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    Category: Family & Kids

    Fruit Is But One Food Group

    | Fort Collins, CO, USA | Family & Kids, Top

    (I work in a standard gas station: there are few healthy things and lots of unhealthy things. As it is summer, we sell a lot of ice cream products. A family of three approaches me register and the father places ice cream bars on the counter.)

    Father: “Just these please.”

    Me: “All right, was there anything else you needed?”

    Mother: “No, thanks.”

    Boy: “Mommy! Can I have this?”

    (The boy, about four, proceeds to show her a container of sliced fruit that we have.)

    Mother: “Nuh-uh, put that back. You’re not getting that.”

    Boy: “But Mommy! It’s delicious! I’ll eat it!”

    Mother: “Put that back now! You have to eat your ice cream bar first!”

    (The boy continues to beg for the cup of fruit until he’s forced to leave the store with his ice cream bar.)

    Spoiled Like The Food On Your Dirty Dishes

    | Tempe, AZ, USA | Family & Kids, Top

    (I answer phones for a major appliance company. It’s Saturday.)

    Customer: “My dishwasher’s broken!”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that! Would you like me to schedule a technician to come out for you?”

    Customer: “No! [Company] already did that! They told me I have to wait till Monday! I can’t believe you people expect me to go two whole days without a dishwasher. This is inhumane! I can’t do this. I have four kids!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, it sounds to me like you have four dishwashers.”

    Customer: “How dare you tell me how to raise my kids! I can’t believe the nerve of you people!”

    Me: “Well, do you give them an allowance?”

    Customer: “Yes, but I don’t see how that’s any of your business!”

    Me: “Do they do chores to earn it?”

    Customer: “My children don’t have to earn their way through life. They’re angels!”

    The Birds, The Bees, And The Brutally Honest

    | Brooklyn, NY, USA | Family & Kids, Rude & Risque

    (A little boy is wandering around unattended, touching all the TVs.)

    Me: “Where’s your mom or dad?”

    Boy: “Well, my mom’s over there.” *points to mother*

    Me: “Okay, why don’t you go over to her?”

    Boy: “Yeah, sure. By the way, I don’t know who my dad is. My mom was a hooker.”

    Common Courtesies: Not For Commoners

    | California, MD, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

    (I am a cashier at a locally owned grocery store that is frequented by families. A dad comes in with two sons. The younger one puts a drink in the front of their order.)

    Kid: “Don’t put this in a bag.”

    Dad: “Hey! You could at least say ‘please’!”

    Kid: “Dad, you don’t say ‘please’ to clerks, only to people! I learned it in my lesson yesterday!”

    Parenting Requires Teamwork, Sometimes Involuntary

    | Australia | Family & Kids

    (A mother is chasing her 5 year old around the store because he can’t have what he wants. After chasing him for a few seconds and yelling at him, she turns to me.)

    Customer: “Can you tell my son you don’t want him in your store?”

    Me: “Um, I don’t know if that would–”

    Customer, to her son: “See! The man says you’re bad and have to get out of the store!”

    Son: *leaves quietly*

    Me: *speechless*

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