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    Category: Family & Kids

    A Rude Retorte

    | Alabama, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I am a cake decorator in a bakery. I am closing up the department when the phone rings.)

    Me: “This is the bakery, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes! Oh my god, please tell me you have the cake kit!”

    Me: “Yes we do have the kit.”

    Customer: “Finally! I’ve looked everywhere for it and you’re the only place that has it! Okay I need to order a cake.”

    Me: “Alright, when you were going to need it?”

    Customer: “In about thirty minutes.”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but I would not be able to do that.”

    Customer: “What? Why the h*** not?”

    Me: “The bakery closes at 6:00 pm on Sundays and I’ve already clocked out for the day. I can place the order for tomorrow afternoon, though.”

    Customer: “No! No! I need it now! It’s my son’s birthday today and I need a cake! I forgot to order the cake!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. There’s nothing I can do.”

    Customer: “You can make my son’s g**d*** cake is what you can do!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. You can come and choose one from our case and I could write something on it for you.”

    Customer: “No! I don’t want those cakes! That’s great! Just great! I hope you’re happy; you just ruined my baby’s first birthday!” *hangs up*

    Do As I Say, Not As I Play

    | Wilmington, NC, USA | Family & Kids

    (A little girl approaches me by herself.)

    Little Girl: “The game I was playing didn’t give me all of my tickets.”

    Me: “Do you know what the game was called?”

    Little Girl: “Uhh…no.”

    Me: “Well, if you could just go find out the name of the game and come back and tell me, I can send someone over there to help you.”

    (She walks back into the arcade. Thirty seconds later, a very angry looking man walks up to my counter.)

    Customer: “Why the h*** would you send her back there by herself? She’s only 8 years old!”

    Me: “Well, she came up here unsupervised.”

    Customer: “I was playing a game! I couldn’t stop in the middle of my game!”

    Not So Pretty In Pink

    | New York, NY, USA | Family & Kids

    (A customer is trying on a black and white top by a well known designer and it fits her very well. Her daughter is with her.)

    Customer: “I just wish this wasn’t black and white. I want something brighter.”

    Me: “Well, we do have a dress by the same designer which has the same silhouette in pink. I think it would look good with your complexion and hair color.”

    Customer: “No thanks. My daughter doesn’t think I look good in pink so I’m going to have to listen to her on this.”

    (The customer’s five-year old daughter solemnly nods with approval.)

    Sins Of The Father, Part 2

    | Kalamazoo, MI, USA | Family & Kids, Religion, Technology

    (My dad builds websites from home, but when’s he’s out I answer his office phone and take notes for him. I am a 20 year old female, and my father is a 55 year old male.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [my father]‘s office, how may I help you”

    Customer: “Hello, I need to ask you a question about this design template.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. My dad isn’t in right now but I can take a message.”

    Customer: “Oh, good heavens! You know, you sound exactly like your father.”

    Me: “Okay?”

    Customer: “Are you Christian?”

    Me: “No, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Well that must be it then. All you heathens sound the same to me. Well, I’ll call back.” *hangs up*

    Related:
    Sins Of The Father

    Lack Of Heir Conditioning

    | South Carolina, USASouth Carolina, USA | Family & Kids

    Tenant: “The heat in my home hasn’t worked all winter! Do you know how much my children have suffered?”

    Me: “Ma’am, we can’t fix the problem if we don’t know about it. Why didn’t you call earlier?”

    Tenant: “I’ve already had my uncle look at the heater. It’s not fixable, and you owe me $60 for having him confirm that.”

    Me: “By law, we have to supply you with heat. We would have replaced your heater and given you wood to burn while doing so.”

    Tenant: “That’s okay. I’m burning the fence.”

    Me: “The privacy fence?”

    Tenant: “Yes! My babies need to be warm.”

    Me: “That’s treated wood.”

    Tenant: “My babies need to be warm!”


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