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    Category: Family & Kids

    Thou Shalt Not Covenant Thy Neighbor

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Family & Kids, Religion

    (I’m working the floor at a local video game store when a visibly angry woman comes up to me with a game in her hand.)

    Customer: “What sort of filth are you selling here!? My son has been playing this game, and I found out it’s about killing the Pope!”

    (She’s holding a copy of “Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood”. Its antagonist is Rodrigo Borgia, the Pope of Renaissance Italy.)

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, the villain in that game is an embellished version of an actual Pope who was historically known for–”

    Woman: “Look! I know you’re just doing your job, but I live in a Christian household and I wont have my son learning to hate religion!”

    (I give her a refund, and then try to find her a game she approves of.)

    Woman: “Okay, what’s this one about?” *picks up Halo: Reach*

    Me: “Well, in that game you play as a futuristic super soldier who battles a race of religiously devout–”

    (She screams, throws the game down, and storms out. The next day, she comes back and buys “God of War III” simply because it “has God in the title”.)

    Makeup Quiz For A Madeup Flu

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, School

    (A student who has missed class and calls me a day later to explain her absence.)

    Student: “I need to take the quiz I missed yesterday.”

    Me: “Remember, quizzes cannot be made up.”

    Student: “I missed class yesterday because my son is sick.”

    Little voice in the background: “Momma, I’m sick?”

    Mommy Says All Men Are Evil

    | Bridgeport, CT, USA | Family & Kids, Top

    (A three-year-old boy is playing with some dolls at the day care center and separating them into families.)

    Boy: “And this is the mommy, and this is the daughter, and this is the other mommy, and this is the son and the daughter, and this is the other mommy–”

    Worker: “Where are all the daddies?”

    Boy: “They’re in jail.”

    Making A Hug(e) Difference

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Family & Kids, Top

    (I’m having a very bad day, having dealt with a series of unpleasant customers. I have a half-hearted smile on my face, when a six year old boy walks in. He stares at me for a second, then gives me a hug.)

    Me: “Thanks, but where is your mommy?”

    Boy: “She’ll be here soon.”

    Me: “She might not want you hugging random strangers.”

    (He shakes his head.)

    Boy: “Mommy says retail people need more hugs. You looked like you needed one.”

    When Kids Break Out On Their Own

    | Denver, CO, USA | Family & Kids, Top

    (I am working in the toy section of the retail store. I receive a call around 8pm.)

    Me: “Hello you’re through to [retailer], toys. How can I help you?”

    (A quiet little girl, not much older than 10, answers.)

    Girl: “Hi um…can you help me find something for my mommy?”

    Me: “Sure, honey. What are you looking for?”

    Girl: “Um, I need an exercise thing. It’s like, a bar that you put on the ground and pull on.”

    (I’m not sure what she means. I walk over and scan the exercise section really quick, but see nothing like that.)

    Me: “Sorry, honey. We don’t really have anything like that. I can tell you some stores you might find it at.”

    Girl: “Okay.”

    Me: “If you can put your mom on the phone, I’ll give her the store names.”

    Girl: “My mommy’s not home. It’s just me and my little brother. We accidentally broke my mommy’s thing, and we’re trying to find where to get one so she won’t be mad.”

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