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    Category: Family & Kids

    Kids Movies Cost An Arm And A Leg

    | Estonia | Family & Kids, Movies & TV

    (A mother and her young daughter approach the counter. She puts down Princess Mononoke and begins to get out her card.

    Me: “I’d just like to point out while this is an excellent movie, it’s probably
    something you’d be uncomfortable with your daughter watching.”

    Customer: “Why? It’s just a princess cartoon!”

    Me: “It’s actually quite violent, it deals with a lot of complex subjects, and has scenes with realistic sword fights, there’s several dismemberments in the first few minutes. But I can recommend several other movies by the same animation studio that both of you could enjoy.”

    Customer: *slightly taken aback* “Um, yes, that sounds like a good idea, I wouldn’t want her to be scared.”

    Customer’s daughter: *to me* “What’s a dismem-peppermint?”

    Customer: “Don’t answer that!”

    Better Safe Than Saucy

    | Canada | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (A young boy comes up to me and points at the clam sauce for spaghetti.)

    Boy: “Can I have this sauce?”

    Me: “Sure, it’s clam. Is that okay?”

    Boy: “Clam? What’s clam?”

    (I start clapping my fingers together motioning a clam closing and opening.)

    Me: “A clam? You don’t know what a clam is?”

    Boy: *blank stare.*

    Me: “Okay, well are you allergic to any shellfish?”

    Boy: “What’s a shellfish?”

    Me: “Okay, you’re getting tomato sauce.”

    Another Tragic Hair Disaster

    | North Wales, UK | Bizarre, Family & Kids, School

    (The phone rings five minutes before the end of the school day.)

    Parent: *very distressed* “You’ll have to help me, please help!”

    Me: “What on earth has happened? How can I help?”

    Parent: “It’s an emergency! There’s been a disaster! You have to help me!”

    Me: “Calm down and tell me what has happened. I’ll do my best to help”.

    Parent: “I can’t get there to pick up [name of her child]. It’s an emergency!”

    Me: “Don’t worry about her, I’ll keep an eye on her here at school. She can come home with me if need be. Is there anything else can do? What has happened?”

    Parent: “It’s my hair, it’s turned out orange!”

    Unlimited Texts, Limited Intelligence

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Family & Kids, Technology

    (After purchasing a cell phone a few hours ago, a teenager and her mom return, saying they’re having difficulty.)

    Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer’s mom: “She’s having problems sending a text message to her dad.”

    Customer: “Yeah, it keeps saying that it doesn’t recognize his phone or something.”

    Me: “Oh, that’s odd. Here, show me.”

    (The customer types a short message along with her dad’s number, and hits send. After a few moments, a message reads ‘Error: Your message was not sent. Address is not a recognized mobile device’.)

    Me: “Oh…are you trying to text it to his home phone?”

    Customer’s mom:“Yes! Why does that matter?”

    Me: “Because only cell phones can receive text messages. It’s not going to work.”

    Customer’s mom:“What? Since when? Well, she’d like a plan that can do that.”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, it’s not up to me. That’s just how phones work.”

    Customer: “But it’s an unlimited texting plan!”

    Related:
    Unlimited Minutes, Limited Intelligence

    Try Not To Read Too Much Into It

    | Winchester, UK | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Funny Names, Holidays, Top

    (A six or seven year old boy comes into the children’s bookstore, his mother trailing behind him.)

    Mother: “Go on then! Ask! She won’t know what you’re talking about and then you can stop wasting my time!”

    Boy: “Hello!”

    Me: “Hello.”

    Boy: “I want a book.”

    Me: “Well you’re in the right place.”

    Boy: “It’s about a boy. Who lives with a caveman. He’s got a funny name beginning with ‘S’.”

    Mother: “There. Now you know there’s no such book.”

    Me: “That wouldn’t be ‘Stig of the Dump’ would it?”

    Boy: *jumping up and down* “Yes yes yes! I told you mummy!”

    Mother: “Don’t contradict me in front of my son!” *starts walking her son out of the shop and still talking to me* “You read too many books!”


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