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    Category: Family & Kids

    Grand Theft Innocence

    | Georgia, USA | Family & Kids

    (Note: it’s illegal to sell games rated M to small children without parental consent. A young boy and girl, both about ten years old, bring a game well-known for violence, sex, and other child-inappropriate behavior to the counter.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. I need your parent’s permission before I can sell you this.”

    Kid #1: “Why? He said we can have it. We have the other ones. Just sell it to me.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I’ll have to get your parent’s permission first.”

    Kid #2: “Fine. I’ll go get him. Daddy is in the car.”

    (The kid returns, followed by her irate dad.)

    Dad: “Why won’t you sell them this stupid game? I had to get out of the car because you can’t trust my children not to buy something they shouldn’t? I have good kids!”

    Me: “I’m sure you do, sir. It’s a law, though. I can get fired if I don’t make sure to get your permission.”

    Dad: “There’s nothing wrong with this game! I want to see your manager!”

    Me: “Sure.”

    (My manager comes over and gets and ear-full from the guy. He explains how I’ve insulted him and his children by making him come inside.)

    Manager: “Well, sir, she’s absolutely right. This game is rated mature and has some pretty rough language and sexual content.”

    Dad: “Don’t you think I know what the game is? They have the other ones.”

    Manager: “I’m a little surprised, sir. I don’t allow my kids to play this game. It’s pretty violent.”

    Dad: “I turn the volume down! What kind of parent do you think I am?”

    Manager: “Well, sir, you can’t turn the volume down on beating a hooker with a baseball bat.”

    (The dad storms out of the store with his kids, all the while asking if they knew about the hookers and baseball bats.)

    E Is For Close Enough

    | Davenport, IA, USA | Family & Kids

    (Overheard in the video game section of a toy store.)

    Kid: “That’s the game!”

    (The father picks it up to read it as his child waits impatiently.)

    Kid: “That’s the one! Let’s go!”

    Father: “Hang on. I need to see if this is the right game for you.”

    Kid: “But it’s rated ‘E!’ ‘E’ stands for ‘Anybody!’”

    Unfortunately, Stupidity Is Forever

    | Pennsylvania, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Top

    (I have reddish brown hair with the underside dyed teal. Today, my hair is up in a clip, which makes it very visible.)

    Customer: “Ugh, why would you do that to yourself?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, do what?”

    Customer: “Dye your hair that awful color! Are you that desperate for attention?”

    Me: “No, teal is just my favorite color, and it makes me happy. And the great thing about hair is that it isn’t permanent.”

    Customer: “I don’t get you rebellious teenagers.”

    Me: “I’m 24 and very happily married. I’m not trying to rebel against anyone or anything. I just like teal, ma’am.”

    Customer: “What are you going to tell your kids when they ask why mommy has blue hair?”

    Me: “Oh, it’ll definitely be gone by then.”

    Customer: *walks out with a big tramp stamp sticking out from the bottom of her shirt*

    Future Treasury Secretaries Of America

    | Snellville, GA, USA | Family & Kids, Money

    (I am a customer at a sporting goods store. As I am walking towards the restroom, I hear a little boy asking his mom to buy him something.)

    Boy: “Mommy, I want this!”

    Mom: “No, honey, we’re not going to buy that. Let’s go.”

    Boy: “But why?”

    Mom: “We’re not going to buy it because it is a waste of money!”

    Boy: “But we can just buy more money!”

    Rounding Down To The Nearest Child

    , | Assen, The Netherlands | Family & Kids

    (I work in a call center that answers calls from people with broken cars in foreign countries. We always ask how many people are on board of the car.)

    Me: “Are there any children in your car?”

    Customer: “Yes, four children. One of the children is under four. Three are aged between four and twelve and one is older than twelve.”

    Me: “So, you have five children?”

    Customer: “No! Four children!”

    Me: “But, you just mentioned five children.”

    Customer: “Don’t you think I know how many kids I have?”

    Customer, to his wife: “Honey, how many kids do we have?”

    Customer: “I’m sorry. You’re right, I’ve got five children.”

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