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    Category: Family & Kids

    Family Loosely Interpreted

    | Newburgh, IN, USA | Family & Kids

    (I work in the video game section of a large retail store. I overhear this couple talking about our selection of video games.)

    Woman: “Why do they sell Grand Theft Auto? This is supposed to be a family friendly store!”

    Husband: “They are family friendly. Some families just have teenagers that like to pretend to steal cars and punch people.”

    Through Ickiness And In Health

    | East Lansing, MI, USA | Family & Kids

    (I answer a lot of calls from parents concerned about the living arrangements in our dorm rooms.)

    Parent: “So, what’s the deal with co-ed floors?”

    Me: “Well, most of our floors are co-ed by wing, but a few are co-ed by suite, where one suite is all boys, and next door is all girls. Your student will never have to share a room or bathroom with the opposite gender.”

    Parent: “Why would anyone want to do that?”

    Me: “Well, some people find that living with the opposite gender is fun.”

    Parent: “Yeah, but I mean, boys are icky!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Parent: “Don’t get me wrong. I’ve lived with my husband for 20 years, but…eww!”

    I Become Mom, Destroyer Of Worlds

    | Keller, TX, USA | Family & Kids

    (I’m organizing papers for auditions when a little girl and her mom comes in. The little girl leans over my desk and starts talking to me.)

    Girl: “Santa Claus doesn’t exist.”

    Me: “Why do you think that?”

    Girl: “Because my toys say they’re made in China! That’s not the North Pole!”

    (The little girl runs off with a disappointed look on her face. The mom looks over at me.)

    Mom: “Just wait ’til she hears about the tooth fairy. She’ll be devastated!”*walks away with a grin on her face*

    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 7

    | United Kingdom | Family & Kids

    (I hand out a vocabulary list to a class of 8-9 year olds.)

    Me: “Does anyone know any of the words?”

    Student: “I know what twilight means!”

    Me: “Go on, tell us what you think it means.”

    Student: “Actually, I’m not completely sure, but it’s got something to do with vampires…”

    Related:
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 6
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 5
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 4
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 3
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 2
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy

    No Aspirations As Long As You’re Under This Roof

    | Alberta, Canada | Family & Kids

    (I am a receptionist at a local college and I am doing some follow-up calls for people who indicated they were interested in attending by filling out one of our forms.)

    Me: “Hi, is [name] there?”

    Woman: “Yes. May I ask who’s calling?”

    Me: “Yes, this is [name] from [college] calling. I’m just following up with the person who filled out a form for us saying they were interested in one of our programs. Do you know if they still are?”

    Woman: “That’s actually my son. He’s only 11 years old. Are you sure you have the right number?”

    (I double check the number and name on the forms with her, and they are correct.)

    Woman: *sighs* “Oh my God. Could he have done this online?”

    Me: “Yes, that’s very possible.”

    Woman: “Oh man, is he going to get it. Thanks for the call. We’re going to punish him for this!” *hangs up*

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