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    Category: Family & Kids

    Can’t Take The Heat, No Daughter Of Mine

    | Massachusetts, USA | Family & Kids

    (I’m working in a very specialized area of our store where we make wax models out of our customer’s hands.)

    Me: “It’s a little intense for smaller kids, as it’s kind of hot.”

    Customer: “My daughter can handle it. She’ll be fine.”

    (I begin the process of making the model of the little girl’s hand. She begins to cry.)

    Me: “You’re doing fine. We’re halfway done.”

    Daughter: “But it’s hot!”

    Customer: “Oh, suck it up, you’ll be fine!”

    Never Send A Man To Do A Woman’s Job

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Family & Kids

    (I work for a company that hosts kids’ parties. One party is coming in just as another is leaving, and in the chaos, a gay couple and their daughter are getting overlooked. At the time, I am the only female on duty.)

    Me: “Can I help you, sirs?”

    Customer: “We just bought a ball, but we don’t know how to blow it up.”

    (I take the family to the pump and show their daughter how to use it. Her dads thank me profusely and one of them makes sure to comment.)

    Customer: “That’s proof, Charlotte. If you want something done right, you have to ask a woman.”

    Age Is But A Number

    | UK | Family & Kids

    (A girl, no older than 7, is counting items on the shelves.)

    Me: “So, you like to count? What’s your favorite number?”

    Girl: *cheerfully* “69!”

    Me: *pause and glance at her mother* “Oh, that’s gr–”

    Mother: *nervously* “Uh, um, her grandma just turned 69 today. She didn’t mean that!” *drags her daughter away*

    The Terrors Of Terminology

    | Guildford, Surrey, England, UK | Family & Kids, Rude & Risque, Top

    (People have all sorts of names for the sides, or temples, of spectacle frames. I have heard them called “legs”, “props”, “wings”, and “crutches”, among other things. A very strident woman marches into our practice with her teenage daughter in tow.)

    Customer: *loudly* “I want you to spread my daughter’s legs. They won’t go behind her ears.”

    Me: *speechless*

    Customer’s daughter: *speechless and cringing with embarrassment*

    Related:
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 4
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 3
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 2
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation

    Next Time, Just Leave The Vice Out Of Advice

    | New Jersey, USA | Family & Kids

    (In our store is a small deli that I work at. A man comes up, orders some ham, and converses with me as I prepare it for him.)

    Customer: “Are you in college?”

    Me: “Yes, actually, this job helps me pay for it.”

    Customer: “What are you studying? Nursing?”

    Me: “English, actually.”

    Customer: “That’s no good. All the smartest women have been going into nursing or medicine or fields like that. You won’t get any money studying English.”

    Me: “Um, I sure hope not, but I’ll see. I’m only a freshman after all. I may change majors.”

    (I try to turn back to my work, a little embarrassed, but he keeps talking.)

    Customer: “Yep, my daughter went into nursing after I insisted she study it. She even worked as a doctor’s assistant for six months!”

    Me: “That’s good to hear. Is she still in school?”

    Customer: “No, she actually dropped out right after that and has some bad drug issues right now, but I don’t think it’ll last long.”

    Me: *shocked* “Oh…well…I hope she recovers soon.”

    Customer: “It’s not a problem. She’ll be a nurse if I have any say about it. And I hope you reconsider too!”

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