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    Category: Family & Kids

    Customers To Keep You On Your Toes

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Family & Kids, School

    (My husband and I inherited a dance studio from his mother and we’re both full-time teachers there. Naturally, our five-year-old spends a lot of time with us at the studio. Her father and I were playing "Swan Lake" with her one day in one of the dance studios after all the classes were over when a mother and her daughter came in.)

    Customer: “Excuse me!”

    Me: “Can I help you? Classes are over for the day.”

    Customer: “I would like to organize one-on-one private lessons with you for my daughter.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t do private lessons.”

    Customer: “So why is he teaching that little girl how to do a lift?”

    Me: “That’s our daughter. He’s not teaching her anything, he’s just picking her up. We were playing a game.”

    Customer: “I demand you give my child private lessons!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’ve just told you, we don’t do that here.”

    Customer: “She’s been in your class for two years!”

    Me: “Yes, I know.”

    Customer: “That little girl isn’t even old enough to be in your class.”

    Me: “No, she’s not, but she’s my daughter. She’s been exposed to ballet since she was a baby.”

    Customer: “So has my child! She knows culture!”

    Me: “I understand, ma’am, but I just can’t give her private lessons.”

    Customer: “Why are you letting her do it, then?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’ve told you already, she’s my daughter. She gets private lessons with me whether she likes it or not. We live together.”

    Customer: “So if I send my daughter to live with you, will you teach her?”

    Me: “Ma’am, you can’t send your daughter to live with us.”

    My Daughter: “Mommy! Look at me!”

    Customer: “Oh, she really is your daughter? I thought you were lying. See you tomorrow for class!”

    The Great Emancipator Died Sooner Than Later

    | Washington, DC, USA | Family & Kids

    (I work at a historic site from the American Civil War. I am talking to a 7-year old child.)

    Small Child: “Who shot President Lincoln?”

    Me: “He was shot by a Southern sympathizer named John Wilkes Booth.”

    Small Child: “But why did he want to kill the president?”

    Me: “Well, the North and the South were at war, and Booth thought that if he killed President Lincoln, it might help the South win.”

    Small Child: “Oh…so were you here when it happened?”

    Telling A Tall Tale

    | United Kingdom | Family & Kids

    (I work on a ride with a height restriction of 1.3 metres, and I have just rejected a young girl who was well under the restriction when her father storms up to me.)

    Customer: “Why the h*** did you say my daughter couldn’t come on your ride? She’s been queuing for nearly an hour!”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but the height restrictions are clearly stated in the brochure that you’re holding and at the beginning of the queuing area for the ride.”

    Customer: “I’ve paid for her to come into this park and you’re telling me she can’t go on the rides?”

    Me: “Sir, there are plenty of rides that she can go on that have lower height restrictions, but unfortunately she’s too small for this one.”

    Customer: “Well, she was tall enough last year!”

    Can I Have Some Nuts With That

    | Annapolis Valley, NS, Canada | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Funny Names

    (The customer spends several minutes staring at a selection of fudge, trying to decide which one she wants. Her daughter is standing in line with her.)

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like a piece of caramel chocolate squirrel.”

    Me: “Um…”

    Daughter: “Mooommm!”

    Customer: “What?”

    Daughter: “It’s chocolate caramel swirl! I don’t think we want a chocolate caramel squirrel.”

    Her Phone’s Not Much To Look At

    | London, UK | Family & Kids, Technology

    Customer: “This compensation thing means you can get a phone back, right? I shouldn’t even have to pay. It’s your fault my daughter doesn’t have a phone!”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that Ma’am. Could you please tell me what happened and how it’s our fault? We’ll try to rectify it. Did it break for no reason?”

    Customer: “Her teacher took it! She was texting me and the teacher confiscated it! She has no phone until they give it back.”

    Me: “Most schools do operate a ban on cell-phones during school hours and inform the students. Ma’am, how is this our fault?”

    Customer: “You lot told me when I bought it that it would be perfect for teenagers! There should be something to stop it being seen in school!”

    Me: “And how do you suppose we do that?”

    Customer: “You’re the techno-geeks, you should be able to make it invisible on and off or something! God! You just don’t work hard enough!” *stomps out angrily*


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