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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Family & Kids

    Kids Will Send Any Parent To The Funny Pharm

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I am taking a refill order over the phone.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [pharmacy]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I need to refill a couple of prescriptions. This one I have the number for.”

    (She proceeds to give me the number, and while I am running the prescription through her insurance I hear some kids playing in the background.)

    Me: “Okay, so that one went through just fine. What is the next one?”

    Customer: “I don’t have the number, but can you look it up for me? It’s my birth control.”

    (I look in the customer’s file and sure enough it’s there. But while I am running it, the playing in the background has turned into a serious screaming and fighting match.)

    Customer: *embarrassed* “And this is why I am refilling the birth control. Can’t you tell?”

    Good Employees Can Fill In The Blanks

    | Santa Clarita, CA, USA | Family & Kids

    (It is 2000. I am working in the electronics department at a well-known chain department store, when a boy of about 13 years old walks up to my counter.)

    Boy: “Um… like, uh… do you, like, uh… have any, uh… like, uh… they’re like, um… they’re like, uh, movies… uh… but, like… they, like… they don’t… they, like, don’t have anything on them?”

    Me: *after staring for a moment* “Do you mean blank videocassettes?”

    Boy: “Yeah!”

    Get The Independent Jeans

    | GA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

    (A young girl drives a cart load of her younger sister and some clothing to my register. I always hate to begin checking children out without their parents present. This girl appears to be about seven years old, and the younger sister is three. The seven year old begins to grab items out of the buggy when she realizes that her sister is stepping on some of her items. She begins fussing at her sister as if she is her mother.)

    Seven year old: *to her sister* “I done told you not to be standing on my stuff. Get out of this buggy, little girl!”

    Me: “Let’s wait to check you out until mom is ready okay, sweetie?”

    Seven year old: “She’s ready!” *yells to her mother, who is still shopping* “Let’s go!”

    Mom: “Okay, I’m ready!”

    (I begin scanning her items and come upon a pair of jeans that is on sale.)

    Me: *to the mom* “This pair of jeans is part of our ‘Buy One, Get One’ offer. If you’re interested in a second pair, it’ll only cost you a dollar extra.”

    Mom: “Well honey, go grab another pair real quick!”

    Seven year old: “Ugh, you go do it!” *throws the pair of jeans at her mother*

    Mom: “Okay, what kind do you want? Something similar or a diff—”

    Seven year old: “Oh, forget it! I’ll do it because you will take forever!”

    (She snatches the jeans from her mother and storms off, as dramatically as only a child can manage.)

    Me: “How old is she?”

    Mom: “Oh, she’s seven. She’s just so independent. She’s something else isn’t she?”

    Me: “Absolutely, ma’am!”

    Little White Lies On Little White Christmases

    | CA, USA | Family & Kids, Holidays, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I receive a call on Christmas Eve.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. How may I help you?”

    Mom: *after verifying her account* “I’d like to put my daughter on the line. It’s her phone that’s having the trouble.”

    Me: “Sure.”

    Mom: *gives phone to her daughter*

    Daughter: “I can’t make any calls on my phone. It keeps giving me a recording.”

    Me: “Let’s see what we need to do to fix that. What kind of phone do you have?”

    (The daughter gives me the name of a phone we stopped selling about 2 years before. Looking at her account, there’s a brand new phone that we only started selling about a month before. I check the remarks and it was activated today, Christmas Eve. I put two and two together and decide to speak with her mom.)

    Me: “I think I actually see what the trouble is. Can I talk to your mom again?”

    Daughter: *gives phone to her mom*

    Mom: “What is it?”

    Me: “Did you by any chance buy your daughter a phone for Christmas?”

    Mom: *quietly, barely louder than a whisper* “Yes!”

    Me: “It looks like that phone has already been activated, and service is completely transferred over. We have a couple of options. First, I can re-activate her old phone, and you can give us a call or go online tomorrow and activate the new one. Second, we can leave things the way they are and she will unwrap her already working phone in the morning.”

    Mom: *still quietly* “Let’s do that second one.”

    (She starts talking loudly, so her daughter can hear.)

    Mom: *loudly* “So, you found a network issue and you’re submitting a ticket, but since it’s the holiday the network team is on a skeleton crew and the problem won’t be fixed until morning?”

    Daughter: *in the background* “No!”

    Me: *to the mom* “Well-played!”

    Light On The Brain Cells

    | Willow Grove, PA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, School

    (I am working in the office supplies section in late July.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, miss, do you have any more of these pencil boxes?”

    Me: “Right over here.” *points*

    Customer: “Great. I need 29 more. I’m a first grade teacher.”

    Me: “That’s nice of you.”

    Customer: “There’s only five left in the blue.”

    Me: “I apologize, but we do have 20 black ones left. Except for the color, they are identical.”

    Customer: “I can’t get black for first graders. It will scare them.”

    Me: “Okay. Well, you can try the back to school area, but I doubt they’ll have more than one or two blue left. You’ll have to keep coming back throughout the summer to get 29 more in the blue.”

    Customer: “Okay, thank you.” *scoots off to school section*

    (Not 15 minutes later, the customer is back putting black cases in her cart.)

    Me: “I see you decided to get the black ones after all; excellent choice.”

    Customer: “I know. Now I have to cover them in stickers so the children won’t be scared!”