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    Category: Family & Kids

    Get Thee To A Nursery

    | USA | Family & Kids

    (An older customer comes to the counter with lingerie and skimpy outfits that are clearly too small for her.)

    Customer: *defensively* “They aren’t for me!”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Customer: “What do you see in my hair?”

    Me: “Uh, nothing?”

    Customer: “A lot of white! You see? White!”

    (She grabs several white strands of her hair and shows them to me.)

    Me: “Okay?”

    Customer: “It’s not okay…not when I don’t have grandkids. My daughter is 30 and hasn’t even started dating! I hope this will help her along!”

    Parenting Isn’t A Cake Walk

    | Hamilton, ON, Canada | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (A mother and her son are sampling several kinds of ice cream, trying to decide what kind of ice cream cake they want. Note that all flavors are clearly labelled with their contents.)

    Customer: “Are there nuts in the pralines ‘n’ cream ice cream? My son is allergic to nuts.”

    Me: “Yes, pralines are nuts. You did not tell me he has a nut allergy. How’s your son, is he okay? Should I call an ambulance? Do you need help?”

    Customer: “So, about my cake…I’m still not really sure what flavors I want. How can I order my cake now? My son’s face is getting itchy.”

    Me: “You should probably just go ahead and take him to the hospital. Can I call someone? Do you want to use my phone? How’s your son doing?”

    Customer: “Yes, I should probably go to the hospital, but then, how will I order my cake? I want this cake. What should I do?”

    Me: “Take a card and call us with a phone order later. You should get your son some help!”

    Customer: “But, about my cake…”

    (She finally takes him to the hospital. Luckily, it is close by!)

    Don’t Kick A (Half) Man When He’s Down

    | Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada | Family & Kids

    (A woman and her young daughter are browsing books.)

    Daugher: “Mom, what’s a ‘has been’?”

    Mother: “Charlie Sheen is a has been.”

    Will Someone Please Think Of The Zombie Children

    , | Sarasota, FL, USA | Family & Kids

    (I’m just stocking the game shelf, when a mother with her kid approaches me.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am, can I help you with something?”"

    Customer: “Young man, I was looking at the content on the back of this game box. Is there nudity in this game? It says ‘brief nudity’ on the box. Is this game appropriate for my child?”

    (The kid hands me the game. It is a platinum copy of Dead Rising for XBOX 360. The kid looks ten at the oldest.)

    Me: “Not that I can recall. Usually, that means people in their underwear. However, I am required to at least warn you that the game contains graphic violence. Are you sure you want to buy this game for your child?”

    Customer: “Hmph! He sees enough violence on TV. I just want to know if there is nudity in the game!” *storms away with the game for her kid*

    Related:
    Yes To Dismember, No To His Member
    Violence On TV, Stupidity On The Couch
    They Grow Up (And Get Incarcerated) So Fast…

    Somebody Failed Listening 101

    | North Carolina, USA | Family & Kids, School

    (While waiting for his to-go food to arrive, a customer is making small talk with me about college.)

    Customer: “So, what are you studying in school?”

    Me: “Psychology, sir.”

    Customer: “Why? That’s a stupid profession. You won’t go anywhere with that! All you’re doing is wasting Daddy’s money!”

    Me: “Actually, sir, I am pay—”

    Customer: “My daughter studied Psychology! She wasted all my money!”

    Me: “Sir, I’m paying for my own college.”

    Customer: “Dads always pay for college!”

    Me: “Mine isn’t. I live alone and pay for my own schooling.”

    Customer: “Whatever. Dads always pay!”

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