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    Category: Family & Kids

    Children Get Sick Periodically

    | New York, New York, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (A woman walks into the store with her young daughter. Her daughter looks feverish and is sniffling.)

    Customer: “Oh look honey, they have candy bars. Go get yourself one while mommy shops for her things.”

    (The little girl walks up to the counter and takes a candy bar.)

    Me: “Are you feeling okay, little girl?”

    Daughter: “My mommy says as long as she gets her tampons, I’ll feel better.”

    (The girl suddenly vomits all over the candy bars and on the counter.)

    Daughter: “QUICK MOMMY! GET YOUR TAMPONS!”

    Winding Down On Dialing Up

    | Hawaii, USA | Family & Kids, Technology

    Me: “Thank you for contacting technical support. How can I help you?”

    Customer: *whispering* “Can you shut my internet off for four hours?”

    Me: “I could disable the port, but may I ask why?”

    Customer: *whispering* “My son has been locked in his room since last night and he won’t come out or talk to me. He hasn’t eaten breakfast yet and it’s 3 pm.”

    Me: “I suppose I could, however, you will need to call us to re-enable your connection.”

    Customer: “Thank you! I don’t know what he’s doing in there on the computer. It’s been like this since we got your internet.”

    Me: “Your connection has been disabled. Is there anything else I can do for you tonight?”

    Customer: “No, thank you. I hope he comes out soon!”

    Tron’s Legacy

    | Florida, USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV

    (I work at a certain attraction where you run, jump and dance at the video capture station, then that video is put into a video game and the avatar is yourself. A little girl approaches.)

    Me: “Hello sweetheart, have you played before?”

    Girl: “No.”

    Me: “Well, basically you run jump and dance in here. Then, our computers put you into the video game!”

    Girl: “But…how do we get out of the video game?”

    Pray They’re Talking About Baby Goats

    | Texas, USA | Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

    (This takes place after setting up installation date for the caller’s service.)

    Me: “Now, do you have any pets or animals that we need the technician to know about?”

    Caller: “Nah, he’ll be alright. I’ll just tie my kids up in the back-yard.”

    Knocking The Door Of Opportunity

    | Iowa, USA | Family & Kids, Rude & Risque, School

    Parent: "It’s ridiculous that I’m expected to give my information for my daughter to go to college. My parents didn’t pay for my college and I’m not paying for hers. I’m not giving it!"

    Me: "Sir, these are the federal government’s regulations. According to the government, until your daughter is 23, married, or has a dependent of her own, she needs to provide your financial information."

    Parent: "So, you’re saying if she gets married or knocked up, I don’t have to take care of her?"

    Me: "Um…technically, yes."

    Parent: *to daughter* "That’s it. You know what you have to do. You need to get pregnant now."

    Daughter: *looking mortified and whining to her father* "Daaaad!"

    Parent: "I’m serious. If you want to go to college then you’re throwing out your pills and getting yourself knocked up."


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