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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Family & Kids

    So Mummy Can Have Birds Without The Bees

    | United Kingdom | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Rude & Risque

    (I am a customer in line at a pharmacy. A mother and her two youngs boys is ahead of me. One of the young boys is sitting on the floor pointing at random medicines.)

    Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

    Mother: “That’s for an itchy head.”

    Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

    Mother: “That’s for when you can’t sleep.”

    (The boy then points at the pregnancy tests.)

    Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

    Mother: “That’s to see if you have a baby growing inside of you!”

    (The boy then stands up and gets back in line with his mother.)

    Mother, to me and the pharmacist: “Thank god he didn’t point at the condoms!”

    Little Nuggets Of Interest

    | Dublin, Ireland | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, History

    (I am providing a tour through Ireland and explaining its history.)

    Me: “…and then the Danish Vikings and the Norse Vikings got together, and created the most fantastic thing in the world. Does anyone know what that is?”

    Young passenger: “Chicken nuggets!”

    Me: “I was going to say red hair, but that answer just blows mine out of the water!”

    Some Customers Leave Big Shoes To Fill

    , | Harrisburg, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Rude & Risque

    (While standing in line as a customer, I notice a father and his two children in front of me. The son, about age 8, is sporting a
    Mohawk about as tall is he is. He looks positively adorable and when he turns and smiles at me, I return the smile.)

    Boy: *tugging on his fathers coat* “Daddy, don’t flash all that money in your wallet! That b**** will take it! You always say how b****es are after your money!”

    (The father laughs and agrees until he notices that his son’s free hand is pointing directly at me. The daughter, about age 12, slaps him on the back of the head.)

    Daughter: “Shut up, dumb ***! That b**** don’t want dad’s money!”

    (The father starts to feel uncomfortable with so many people staring. Not wanting to reprimand their behavior but still wanting to make some parental effort, he starts lecturing his son about how his shoes are dirty. Another customer behind me comes to my rescue.)

    Another customer: “If I were you, I’d be more worried about the dirt coming out of the other end of them!”

    (The father falls silent, the children stop calling me a b****, and I get one of my blouses for free.)

    Ah, Fathers, Part 5

    | New York, NY, USA | Family & Kids, Holidays

    (I’m stocking the shelves. A male customer with a small child of about four comes up to me and asks if there is a post office near by. I tell him there is one a couple of blocks away. He looks at the
    clock, then takes his son’s hand and prepares to walk out of the store. The child doesn’t want to go.)

    Customer: *to the child* “Come on, we need to go to the post office. It’ll close soon.”

    Child: “I want to look at toys.”

    Customer: “We have to go now. We can come back later.”

    Child: “You go. I’ll wait here and play.”

    Customer: “You can’t.”

    Child: “Why?”

    Customer: “Because your dad will go to jail for that.”

    (The child looks perplexed.)

    Customer: *trying to explain* “Think smaller Christmas present. And you’ll have to stay with Grandma a lot.”

    Related:
    Ah, Fathers, Part 4
    Ah, Fathers, Part 3
    Ah, Fathers, Part 2
    Ah, Fathers

    Hannah Montana, I Choose You

    | Woburn, MA, USA | Family & Kids, Musical Mayhem

    Me: “Excuse me, do you need help?”

    Customer: “Yes, actually. Would you happen to know what a good game for a seven year old boy? I need a present for my grandson.”

    Me: “Well, you could always go with a classic Mario or Pokémon game.”

    Customer: “Well what are those about?”

    (I give a very general description, explaining the basics of the concepts since she was obviously new to video games.)

    Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. Those sound very violent to me.”

    Me: “Well, they’re very popular games, especially among young boys.”

    Customer: *thinks for a moment* “No, I think those games are too violent. I’ll just get him this one.”

    (She picks up the latest Hannah Montana game for the DS and walks off.)

    Related:
    Chinchilla, I Choose You


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