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    Category: Family & Kids

    It’ll Go Away If You’re Belieber

    | Illinois, USA | Family & Kids, Top

    (I work as a nurse in hospital in Illinois. Keep in mind where quite busy at the moment. A woman rushes up to me dragging a preteen girl behind her.)

    Woman: “Help! Please help! My daughter needs a vaccine!”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, I need to know what the vaccine is for. Do you have an appointment?”

    Woman: “No! I don’t have any appointment! My daughter has a fever!”

    Daughter: “Mom! I don’t have a fever!”

    Woman: *still looking at me* “Her aunt told me she has it! The Heever Fever!”

    Me: “Ma’am, are you trying to say ‘Bieber Fever’?”

    Woman: “Yes! That!”

    Daughter: “Mom! You’re embarrassing me!”

    No Aspirations As Long As You’re Under This Roof, Part 2

    , | California, USA | Family & Kids, School

    (I work at a call center for a university. We call prospective students and tell them about our school. This call was meant for a young lady but was taken by her father.)

    Me: “I’m calling from [university] to talk to [girl] about her interest in attending our university.”

    Father: “University? Like school, papers, homework, and stuff?!”

    Me: “Yes, that stuff usually occurs in a university.”

    Father: “My daughter ain’t goin’ there!”

    Me: “All right, have a nice day, sir.”

    Related:
    No Aspirations As Long As You’re Under This Roof

    I Can Be Anything I Want

    , | Massachusetts, USA | Family & Kids, Rude & Risque

    Customer: “Do you sell stripper costumes?”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Customer: “Stripper or hooker, whatever. I need it for a Halloween costume party.”

    (I assume she’s dressing up herself in a party for adults.)

    Me: “Why don’t you just go to a lingerie store? Or perhaps an adult store?”

    Customer: “Well, they won’t be selling sizes that fit my kid. She’s 6.”

    Trick And/Or Treat

    | Westminster, CO, USA | Family & Kids

    (It’s getting close to Halloween. I’m doing my daily duties when I hear a woman talking to her son.)

    Son: “Mom, can we get these candies for Halloween?”

    Woman: “No! For the last time, we are not getting candy!”

    Son: “Why not?!”

    Woman: “I’m a teacher. Our house will get TP’d whether we have candy or not!”

    Parenting The Parents

    | Minnesota, USA | Family & Kids, Top

    (I am a 17 year old girl working at a boy scout camp. It is close to the end of the summer and I’ve gotten very used to encounters like these. The camp has motorized canoes on the river because the boys are generally too weak to row upstream. Some dads tend to abuse the canoes. This particular dad was very obnoxious.)

    Dad: *jumps into canoe*

    Me: “Uh, sir, we actually need to go over safety rules before you guys can start with the canoes, okay?”

    Dad: *blank stare*

    Me: “So…I’ll have to ask you to get out of the canoe.”

    Dad: *blank stare*

    Me: *more sternly* “Sir! I really need you to get out now so we can get started.”

    Dad: “No! You can’t tell me what to do! Do you think I don’t know how to use a canoe?!”

    Me: “Well, I’m sure you are very experienced with canoes, but some boys aren’t, so we just want to make sure everyone knows the ground rules.”

    Dad: “Do you know who I am? You can’t talk to me like this! Who do you think you are to talk to me like this? Do you know who I am? I have the power to fire your a**!”

    Coworker: “Whoa, hey, calm down. You don’t need to talk to her like that. She’s just doing her job.”

    Dad: “She works here?! So she like gets…paid and stuff?”

    Me: “Yes, I get paid and stuff.”

    Dad: “But you’re a girl!”

    Me: “Yes, I am a girl.”

    Dad: “At a boy scout camp! This is just wrong! You can’t work here! Who hired you? What sick freak would hire a girl to do a man’s job?!”

    (I begin writing names and numbers on a piece of paper.)

    Me: “Okay, well if you’d like to complain to my supervisor, here’s her number. Otherwise you can talk to the camp director; her name is Elizabeth.”

    Dad: *storms off*

    (Later, I find out that this same dad attempted to pop a wheelie in the canoe and was put on our “do not canoe” list.)

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