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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Family & Kids

    He Isn’t Leaving, But She Had Better

    | Devon, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Top

    (I’m looking after my friend’s little girl so she can have a day to herself and relax. As we are in town, I go into work so I can check when I’m next working, then have a drink. The girl sees a kid she goes to nursery with. So, I let her go say hello, whilst keeping an eye on her of course. Next thing I know, my friend’s girl is by my side crying.)

    Girl: *points to a random older woman* “That woman said you’re going to leave me.”

    Me: “What have you been saying to my kid?”

    Woman: “Only the truth. All you young guys are the same. You all leave when you’ve—”

    Me: “Okay, you can shut it right there. Now she may not be mine biologically, but I love her like she was my own flesh and blood. More then you could ever imagine. And like h*** am I going to let some insignificant low life like you poison her mind to think otherwise, do you understand me?”

    Woman: *stares back in shock*

    Me: “I said do you understand me?”

    Woman: “Y-yes.”

    (Next, I turn to the little girl, who I’ve picked up by now.)

    Me: “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. Now, who’s my little bumble?”

    Girl: “I am. Love you Uncle!” *kisses me on the cheek*

    Children Of The Candy Corn

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I notice a mother has three children with her; the youngest (and only boy) is about eleven. As I am ringing up her groceries, the boy is looking at a rather large bag of candy on the belt.)

    Me: “Did you find everything alright today ma’am?”

    Customer’s Son: “Mom! Get me some candy!”

    (As he says this, the son starts grabbing candy bars from a display and puts them on the belt.)

    Customer: “I already bought you a bag of candy.”

    Customer’s Son: “I WANT SOME CANDY!”

    Me: “Sorry, your mother said you couldn’t have any.”

    Customer’s Son: “Shut up!”

    (I ignore him and as the candy comes down the belt, I take it off, intending to put it back. However, the son sees me do this.)

    Customer’s Son: “Hey! Stop that! I want that candy!” *turns to his mother* “Make her stop! Make her give me the candy!”

    Customer: “I just bought you a big bag of candy!”

    (This exchange goes on for a while, and finally the mother caves and I reluctantly ring up the candy. I begin to bag it as the boy goes through the bags, grabbing the large bag of candy, hugging it to his chest, and running out of the store.)

    Me: “I normally don’t give opinions on kids, but he could have at least helped you carry out the bags.”

    Customer: “Oh, he’s the only boy in our family. We have to spoil him and he knows it!” *leaves*

    No Kidding About The Kid

    | MD, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (A customer is loudly talking on her phone while ignoring her young son. He’s already thrown his jacket to the floor and has run around the store several times, bumping into other customers. Suddenly the boy grabs a cake server off the shelf and begins waving it around in the air making light-saber noises.)

    Me: “Honey, be careful with that. I wouldn’t want to see you get hurt.”

    Customer #1: “[Son]!”

    (The little boy drops the cake server then begins stomping around the store once again.)

    Customer #1: *to the phone* “So yeah, these ones have butterflies on them.”

    (The little boy seizes this opportunity to run behind the counter and begin messing with the engraving machines. I immediately pick him up and place him next to his mother.)

    Me: “Here, honey. Stay with your mom.”


    Me: “Ma’am, he could have seriously hurt himself. We work with dangerous equipment.”

    Customer #1: “I can’t believe you would touch my son! How dare you!”

    (At this point, I’m biting my tongue to keep from telling her off when another customer interjects.)

    Customer #2: “Lady, if you would get off the d*** phone and watch your brat this nice woman wouldn’t have to save his life!”

    Customer #1: “I’ll never shop here again!” *to me* “There has to be a law against molesting children like that! I’ll make sure you lose your job for this!” *storms out*

    It Isn’t The View That Is Spoiled

    | Ventura, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I work as a hostess in a very popular family restaurant. We have a playground on the patio as well as one of the best locations in town with a view over looking the ocean. Today we have a party of 100 fundraising for a youth football team, so there are a lot of kids.)

    Customer: “Two, for outside please.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, the patio is reserved for a party.”

    (The customer is sat by the window with a lovely view of the ocean.)

    Customer: “Excuse me? But you wouldn’t let us sit outside! And now those ugly kids are playing in my view! Make them move!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but they are part of the large party and I can’t ask them to leave.”

    Customer: “Are you serious?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I really don’t like kids either, but this is a family restaurant and family means kids.”

    Customer: “I’m never coming here again!”

    A Couple Of Annoying Squirts

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Top

    (Our shop is pretty quiet at the moment. The only customer in it is a twenty-something woman, eating her meal and reading a book. Two boys, about fifteen and thirteen, come in carrying what appears to be badly painted water pistols.)

    Older Boy: Yo, b****! This is a stick up!

    Younger Boy: “Yeah, give us all your money! Empty the register.”

    (At this point, the woman looks up. She gets a very angry look on her face.)

    Me: “Those aren’t real guns.”

    Older Boy: “F***, yeah, they are! Hurry up!”

    (The woman walks over to them and taps the older boy on the shoulder.)

    Older Boy: *turns around* “What the?”

    (He freezes and stutters for words. The woman smacks the other boy’s head with her book.)

    Woman: “What the h*** do you two think you’re doing? Are those squirt guns?”

    (Both boys look shocked. The older one is beet red and the younger one is actually crying.)

    Woman: “Go to the corner, right this instant! I’m calling your mother.”

    (Both boys go to sit in the corner of the restaurant.)

    Woman: “Ah! Apologize to this nice lady first!”

    Both Boys: “S…s…sorry!”

    Woman: “Now go stand in that corner and face the wall!”

    (Both boys obey and stand against the wall. The woman then turns back to me.)

    Woman: “I’m sorry, I really am.”

    (The woman proceeds to call their mother, who shows up five minutes later and hauls both boys out. Apparently, the woman is their aunt. She left us two twenty dollar bills in our tip jar!)