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    Category: Family & Kids

    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 3

    | Dublin, Ireland | Family & Kids, Rude & Risque

    (A kid walks into the store and brings “Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas” up to the counter. He’s no more than 11.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you rent that game. It’s for over 18 only.”

    Kid: “My mom lets me play this all the time!”

    Me: “Well, you’ll have to get her to rent it for you then.”

    (The kid stomps off and returns with his mother. She brings the game up.)

    Customer: “I want to rent this.”

    Me: “Well, I should tell you that it is a very violent game.”

    Customer: “I don’t mind that.”

    Me: “Well, in this game, you can actually pick up a hooker and beat her to death afterwards to get back your money. There’s loads of graphic violence and bad language.”

    Customer: *alarmed* “Bad language?” *turns to her son* “Darren, you know you’re not allowed things with bad language!” *grabs him by the arm and storms out with him in tow*

    Related:
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 2
    Grand Theft Innocence

    March Monthly Roundup: Booze, Beaus, Bongs, Bigots, & Bindings

    , , , , | Not Always Right | Bigotry, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Roundups, Rude & Risque, Underaged

    In addition to our weekly roundups, each month we’ll be sharing our most popular reader-voted stories.

    March Monthly Roundup: This month, we share five stories that show that customers can be bad, but at least they’re not boring!

    1. She Fought The Law, And The Law Won, Part 2:
      Think you’re going to buy booze for your underaged, 16-year-old daughter? Not on this liquor store employee’s watch!
    2. When Press Comes To Shove:
      A blustery customer counts on berating an employee to get his way; what he didn’t count on: the employee’s 6’5″, 250-lb. fiance waiting in the back.
    3. The Height Of (Mt.) Misogyny:
      Misogynists really should go jump off a cliff, but this sexist customer probably couldn’t make it to the top anyway.
    4. Weeding Out The Dumb Ones, Part 2:
      Either this guy’s in the wrong shop, or those are the LARGEST. BONGS. EVER.
    5. So Good She Doesn’t Need A Weapon:
      A little girl learns that although diamonds are forever, mommy’s handcuffs are for her eyes only.

    He’ll Grow Up To Be A Fine Customer (From Hell) One Day

    | Newport, OR, USA | Bigotry, Family & Kids

    (I’m helping visitors touch some of the animals on exhibit. One of the boys in the crowd is getting too rowdy with the snake I have out.)

    Me: “I’m going to need you to step back so someone else can have a turn.”

    Boy: “Why?”

    Me: “You’re being a little to rough with the animal. You can come back later, though.”

    Boy: “YOU ARE BEING RACIST!”

    Me: “Um…how?”

    Boy: “It’s because I’m black!”

    (Note: I’m white, and so is the boy.)

    Me: “Um, you’re white.”

    Boy: “Oh, so now you’re being a reverse racist!” *storms away*

    Your Comprehension Of Comprehension Is Incomprehensible

    | Illinois, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words

    (I am a bookstore clerk at the local high school. I am talking to a mom who is getting the books her daughter needs.)

    Mother: “My daughter doesn’t have a problem with comprehension! She just doesn’t understand the material.”

    Practice Sweet Unadulterated Moderation

    | North Carolina, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (A mom, dad, and two small children walk in. The boy sees some of the fresh fruit we keep at the counter and asks for a banana.)

    Dad: *to son* “No, you’ve had too much fruit today!”

    Mom: *to son* “Yeah, go get some candy instead!”

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