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    Category: Family & Kids

    Mommy Says All Men Are Evil

    | Bridgeport, CT, USA | Family & Kids, Top

    (A three-year-old boy is playing with some dolls at the day care center and separating them into families.)

    Boy: “And this is the mommy, and this is the daughter, and this is the other mommy, and this is the son and the daughter, and this is the other mommy–”

    Worker: “Where are all the daddies?”

    Boy: “They’re in jail.”

    Making A Hug(e) Difference

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Family & Kids, Top

    (I’m having a very bad day, having dealt with a series of unpleasant customers. I have a half-hearted smile on my face, when a six year old boy walks in. He stares at me for a second, then gives me a hug.)

    Me: “Thanks, but where is your mommy?”

    Boy: “She’ll be here soon.”

    Me: “She might not want you hugging random strangers.”

    (He shakes his head.)

    Boy: “Mommy says retail people need more hugs. You looked like you needed one.”

    When Kids Break Out On Their Own

    | Denver, CO, USA | Family & Kids, Top

    (I am working in the toy section of the retail store. I receive a call around 8pm.)

    Me: “Hello you’re through to [retailer], toys. How can I help you?”

    (A quiet little girl, not much older than 10, answers.)

    Girl: “Hi um…can you help me find something for my mommy?”

    Me: “Sure, honey. What are you looking for?”

    Girl: “Um, I need an exercise thing. It’s like, a bar that you put on the ground and pull on.”

    (I’m not sure what she means. I walk over and scan the exercise section really quick, but see nothing like that.)

    Me: “Sorry, honey. We don’t really have anything like that. I can tell you some stores you might find it at.”

    Girl: “Okay.”

    Me: “If you can put your mom on the phone, I’ll give her the store names.”

    Girl: “My mommy’s not home. It’s just me and my little brother. We accidentally broke my mommy’s thing, and we’re trying to find where to get one so she won’t be mad.”

    Battling For The Answer

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Books & Reading, Family & Kids

    Me: “Hi. Can I help you find something?”

    Patron: “Yeah, my son’s doing some project and he needs some books on some sort of revolution.”

    Me: “Okay, so he can pick any revolution to do the project on?”

    Patron: “No, he’s doing it on The Revolution. Where do I find books on that?”

    Me: “Which revolution? American? French? Haitian? Industrial? There were a lot.”

    Patron: “I think he said it was the one that had a lot of battles.”

    A Tourist Traveling To Terror Incognita

    | Ashburn, VA, USA | Family & Kids, Funny Names, Movies & TV

    (I’m working as the ticket tearer when two young kids come up and ask me a question.)

    Kid #1: “Our parents were in a different movie. They said they would be out first, but they aren’t here. It’s been a long time.”

    Me: “Okay, do you know what movie they saw?”

    Kid #2: “It was the terrorist, they went to see the terrorists!”

    Me: “Oh! The Tourist with Johnny Depp. That won’t get out for another 10 minutes.”

    Kid #1: “No it was the Terrorist! They said there was bombs and gangsters so we had to see Tangled instead.”

    Me: “Well we don’t have that movie, so I’m sure it was the Tourist.”

    (Kids walk away to wait. I overhear them.)

    Kid #2: “What’s a tourist?”

    Kid #1: “It must be the terrorists’ friends!”


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