Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Filled With Creamy Justice
    (1,786 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Family & Kids

    Cannibalism Is Child’s Play

    | WV, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m stocking in an aisle in which a customer is also shopping. From a few aisles away comes the high pitched scream of a child. The customer turns and smiles at me.)

    Customer: “That child should have been eaten at birth.”

    Me: “…”

    Doesn’t Want To Provide Proof

    | East Lothian, Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Religion

    (An elderly Muslim woman and her niece, who is in her 30s, are regular customers. They are both very nice people and are always friendly. Today the niece is in on her own and approaches the checkout.)

    Niece: “Is my aunt in?”

    Me: “I haven’t seen her.”

    Niece: “Is her car in the car park?”

    (I look as far as I can into the store car park.)

    Me: “I can’t see it.”

    Niece: “Good. Can I have a litre-bottle of [Cheap Brand] vodka, please.”

    Creepiness Just Hit The Motherlode

    | DC, USA | Family & Kids, Spouses & Partners, Theme Of The Month

    (I have just finished helping a customer complete a change to his wireless plan.)

    Customer: “Wow, thank you, [My Name]. You have a nice voice, you know that? How old are you?”

    Me: “Well… I’m 26, sir.”

    Customer: “Hoo wow, that’s way too young. Is your mom married?”

    Me: *kind of chuckling nervously* “Yes. Yes, she is.”

    Customer: “… Happily?”

    Me: “…”

    Contains Refunds Not Suitable For A Younger Audience

    | Surrey, England, UK | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Movies & TV

    (My colleague has kicked out a pair of boys from a 15-rated film. Managers have stated to us in the past that screen jumpers do not get refunds.)

    Boy: “We want our money back!”

    Colleague: “I’ll talk to the manager.”

    (My colleague goes behind the concession stand for a couple of minutes and comes out.)

    Colleague: “My manager says he will not be issuing you a refund.”

    Boy: “Then let us back into our film!”

    Colleague: “No.”

    (My colleague leaves me standing on gate with these boys.)

    Boy: “Why can’t you let us back in?”

    Me: “You’ve broken the contract you signed by buying a ticket, which states that refunds are not issued, that you will go to the film on your ticket and not into one you’ve been refused entry to, and you’ve broken the trust in our staff that you will keep your deal.”

    Boy: “Well, we’re not leaving until we get our money back.”

    Me: “You’ve broken your side of the bargain. We have a zero tolerance policy against people who run between screens for any reason and thus we will not be issuing you a refund. Your threat can be seen as harassment, and at this point your only options are to leave this building, or go home escorted by the police. I really don’t mind which.”

    (The boys hesitate, and then run off!)

    Forget To Drink To Forget

    | London, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I’m bartending at a wedding and the bar is quiet. A father approaches the bar with his newly 18-year-old daughter.)

    Father: “I’ll have a pint of Guinness, please.”

    Me: “Certainly, sir. Is there anything else I can get you?”

    Father: “Do you want anything, [Daughter]?”

    Daughter: “Oh, I’ll just have some water, please.”

    Father: “Are you sure? You’re allowed alcohol now, remember!”

    Daughter: *face lights up* “Oh, yeah! Uhm…” *falls silent for about five seconds* “What do you have?”

    (I motion to the wide range of alcoholic beverages behind me.)

    Me: “Whatever you fancy, ma’am.”

    Daughter: “Uhm… I don’t know! What do I want?”

    (Her father says nothing, so I presume the question is to me.)

    Me: “Well, what do you normally drink? We have a very wide range of spirits behind me, cold beer on tap in front of you, and several ciders and ales in the fridges that I can list if you’d like.”

    Daughter: “Uhm, can I have a rum and Coke?”

    Me: “Of course, ma’am! Light or dark rum?”

    Daughter: “Uhm… Do you have Barcardi?”

    Me: “Coming right up!”

    (I make her Barcardi and Coke and pour the father his Guinness before taking payment. As the daughter walks away, the father sighs.)

    Father: “I’m very sorry about that! Sometimes I wonder if she’s all there!”

    (He then walks away without his Guinness, returning a minute or so later to collect it with a sheepish look on his face!)


    Page 11/142First...910111213...Last