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    Category: Family & Kids

    Trying To Blow Smoke

    | USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I’m running the express lane when a lady approaches my till holding an infant of about a year old. Note: it’s October and around 68° outside.)

    Me: “Hello! What can I do for you?”

    Customer #1: *sets infant on counter * “Yes, I’d like two packs of [Brand] cigars.”

    (I go get the cigars, and as I return and start ringing up her cigars, another customer walks by who also has an infant that is in only shorts, minding their own business.)

    Customer #1: *to Customer #2′s infant* “Oooh, baby, you’re gonna get sick wearing only shorts. It’s, like, zero degrees outside.” *to me* “Some people.”

    (She happily walked away with her cigars and baby.)

    Just Made Her (Mother’s) Day

    | Milford, CT, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Money

    (I am a hostess, and this story happens the Friday before Mother’s Day. I am standing at the register at the entrance to the restaurant when a gentleman in his early 40s who had been dining alone approaches me.)

    Customer: “Do I pay up here?”

    Me: “Oh! No, sir, you pay with your waitress. Let me grab her for you.”

    (I go to the back and bring the waitress up to the front with me.)

    Customer: *to waitress* “So, my bill was $18?”

    Waitress: “Yes. ”

    Customer: “Do you have a family?”

    Waitress: “Uh… yes.”

    Customer: “You have kids?”

    Waitress: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Well, then. This is for my check.” *hands coworker a $20 bill* “… and this is for you.” *hands coworker a $50 bill* “Happy Mother’s Day!”

    (At this point, the customer leaves before the waitress can even say ‘thank you.’)

    Waitress: *to me* “I think I’m gonna cry.”

    Single Minded Demands

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Hotels & Lodging, Wild & Unruly

    (Sometimes our sales manager gives some of her friends a certificate for a free night’s stay at our hotel. I am checking in such a stay.)

    Customer: “Hello, checking in? The name’s [Customer].”

    Me: “Right, Mrs. [Customer]. I see that this is a free night’s stay? May I see the certificate?”

    Customer: “Right here.” *hands it over*

    Me: “Okay, I see that’s in order. Here are your keys and sign here.”

    (She signs and leaves, waving goodbye. A few minutes later, she comes back with a teen girl in tow.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but I’m supposed to have a room with two beds in it. This is a room with only one bed!”

    Me: “I’m terribly sorry; let me check the reservation again.” *checks* “Ma’am, the reservation says that a single bed was booked, not two. Furthermore, I’m afraid we don’t have any more two-bed rooms.”

    Customer: “This is outrageous! I know the owner, you know. You’re just trying to trick me, because I’m a free stay and I’m not paying!”

    Me: “I don’t see why… uh… anyone would do that.”

    (At this point, I start to get nervous, because our sales manager is married to the owner, so it is possible she’s telling the truth. Fortunately, the teen speaks up.)

    Teen: “Mom! Didn’t you say that you were going alone until I agreed to come with you at the last minute? Doesn’t it make sense then that you would book only a single bed for yourself?”

    Customer: “I… I… It must’ve slipped my mind.”

    (Caught, red-faced, she slinked off with her daughter. A few minutes later, I got a call from her room asking meekly for a cot. I got her one, and reported the incident to the managers. Soon, she is their friend no more, and I never saw her again!)

    Don’t Kick A Pink Gift Horse In The Mouth

    | UK | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Family & Kids

    (It’s nearly closing time, when a mother comes in with her son, who looks to be about two or three.)

    Boy: “I want a dolly! Look mummy!” *takes doll off shelf*

    Mother: “No, that’s for girls. Let’s go look at the Lego.”

    Boy: *points at box of pink Lego* “This one, mummy! Please!”

    Mother: “You can’t have pink, that’s a girl’s colour.”

    Boy: “I get horsey?” *points at pink toy horse*

    Me: “I love horseys. That seems like a great idea. It’s always lovely to see a handsome young man like you who likes pink horseys. Is that okay with you, Ma’am?”

    Mother: “You’re trying to turn my son gay!”

    Me: “I can assure you that I am not attempting anything like that.”

    (I walk away to allow the mother to pick out a ‘suitable’ toy for her son. They walk up to the cash desk with a toy car set, but the boy is crying.)

    Me: “That’ll be £23, please.”

    Boy: “Want horsey!”

    Me: “Since you’re such a cutie, how about a free horsey?”

    (I took a cheap pink horse from a shelf and handed it to him.)

    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 10

    | France | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Technology, Underaged

    (I work in a video game store where you can give back old games to get a discount on other ones. It’s a slow day, and a somewhat older female customer comes to the counter.)

    Me: “Oh, hello, ma’am. What can we do for you?”

    Customer: “Well, I’ve found my son’s old educational games while dusting off shelves, and I’d like to buy him something new.”

    (I pass the games to a coworker, so she can check out prices and the disks’ states, while I help the customer with choosing a game.)

    Coworker: “Err, ma’am, there’s something wrong with the games.”

    Customer: “What?”

    (My coworker shows us the disks. It’s actually stuff like ‘GTA,’ ‘Call of Duty,’ ‘Saints Row’ and other 18-rated games.)

    Me: “How old is your son, ma’am?”

    Customer: “He’s 14… Why?”

    Coworker: “Well, those games are not for people under 18. Due to violence, nudi—”

    (The customer storms out, leaving the games on the counter. 15 minutes later, she comes back dragging her son by the arm and with the original boxes.)

    Customer: *to her son* “These. 18-rated games. Explain.”

    (The customer’s son explained that he asked a friend’s older brother to go and buy the games for him. His mother left us the 18-rated games and their boxes.)

    Related:
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 9
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 8
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 7

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