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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Family & Kids

    Cheerily Getting Her Way

    , | Australia | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (A man comes shopping with his adorable five year old daughter, and this happens as I’m serving him. Note: For those who don’t know, “cheerios” is a common name for cocktail frankfurts, which kids love.)

    Customer: “I’ll have 250g of that ham, please.”

    (The whole time I’m weighing and wrapping, his daughter is trying to get his attention.)

    Daughter: “Daaad. Dad. Cheerios, dad. Daaaaad…”

    Me: *hands over item* “Anything else?”

    Daughter: “Cheerios?”

    Customer: *smiling but still ignoring her* “Also a half kilo of chicken thighs.”

    Daughter: *hands on hips, looking at her father, but it was clear that she wanted me to hear her words* “Daddy, did you say CHEERIOS?”

    Me: *as I weigh and wrap* “She has the most adorable little attitude. Anything else?”

    Customer: “And a half kilo of cheerios… I’m going to have to watch out for her when she’s older, she’s too cute to say no to!”

    Me: “I think she knows it, too!”

    (The girl took the cheerios from me with a smug grin.)

    Lying Is All Relative(s), Part 3

    | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

    (I’m in high school, and work at my father’s pharmacy during the summer. One day a woman who looks to be in her mid-twenties rushes up to my line, cutting several people. She dumps multiple boxes of prescription medication on the counter, as well as about $50 worth of make-up, hair dye, and jewelry.)

    Customer: “I’m the owner’s daughter, so I get all this stuff for free, okay?”

    Me: “Ma’am, please get to the back of the line.”

    Customer: “For the love of God, just ring me up! I’m the owner’s daughter! I don’t have time to wait!”

    Me: “You’re the owner’s daughter?”

    Customer: “Yes! What are you, f****** deaf? Just f****** ring my stuff up so it won’t set off the alarm!”

    Me: “Wow, that’s such a coincidence.”

    Customer: “Excuse me?”

    Me: *smiling widely*I’m the owner’s daughter, too!”

    (The customer stared at me for a second, then turned beet red and ran out of the store, leaving her items on the counter. She hasn’t been back since!)

    Lying Is All Relative(s), Part 2
    Lying Is All Relative(s)

    Gunning For A Date

    | CA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

    (I am female and have a love for outdoor activities. It is a few days away from Mother’s Day. I am walking a couple to their table and am chatting with them.)

    Me: “So, do you have any fun plans for the weekend?”

    Husband: “Yeah, I will be taking my wife fishing for her Mother’s Day present.”

    Me: *excitedly* “Oh, really? That’s so cool!”

    (The wife starts shaking her head.)

    Husband: “Oh, I was just kidding. She doesn’t fish.”

    Me: “Oh, well. you never know. For example, there may be women like me. If I had a significant other want to take me hunting for Mother’s Day, I would totally want to go. I figured that was the case.”

    Husband: “You know, I have a son who is single and he LOVES to go hunting and shooting.”

    Wife: “No, he doesn’t. What are you talking about?”

    Husband: “No, he loves hunting.”

    Wife: “He doesn’t even like guns!”

    Husband: “Well, he will!”

    Me: “…”

    Giving Them A Minor Earful

    | IL, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I work in an alternative store that sells body jewelry and such. My earlobes are stretched to about the size of a nickel. A woman and her daughter come in to the store.)

    Daughter: “Mom, I want to stretch my earlobes like that girl.”

    Mom: “Absolutely not! Those look disgusting. You’re not ruining your body like her.”

    Me: *standing five feet away* “Well, one pro to ear stretching is that it does not affect your hearing at all… Just so you know.”

    Mom: *to daughter* “Well, maybe you can have really small ones.”

    Giving That Request The Boot

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (I manage a retail clothing store and I am at the counter when a mother and daughter walk up with a pair of our boots in the box to return.)

    Me: “Hi, ladies, what can I help you with?”

    Daughter: “Yes, I talked to the other manager, [My Assistant], yesterday about the studs coming off my boots. She said I could re-order them.”

    Me: “Absolutely! I am sorry they are falling apart.”

    (I try and see if the boot can be ordered, since the boots launched some time ago.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but the boots are unavailable for re-order. I would be more than happy to return them for you or you can swap it for whatever you like.”

    Mother: “But she wants the boots. Can’t you give us something since they can’t be ordered?”

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s exactly what I am trying to do. I am more than willing to return them or exchange them for whatever your daughter would like.”

    Mother: “But she wants the boots. You can’t give us anything?”

    Me: “So let me get this correct: you would like me to give you something for free AND let you keep the boots?”

    Daughter: *getting frustrated with the audacity of her mother asking for such a ridiculous request* “No, it’s okay… I’ll keep the boots.” *mumbles to her mother* “Let’s go, mom.”