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    Category: Family & Kids

    What The World Needs Now…

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I work at an ice cream/burger joint with a drive thru. A mother comes through with a little girl in the back seat, I have just handed the mother her order when she pulls the car up a bit so I can directly hand the little girl her ice cream.)

    Me: “And here is your sundae!”

    Mother: “What do you say to the nice lady?”

    Little Girl: “I love you!”

    Me: *embarrassed and confused* “I love you, too.”

    (The mother laughs really hard while the little girl grins at me. My coworkers heard and laughed, too. She was the cutest little girl ever!)

    Mother Is On The Job

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (My workplace provides career advice for youth and young adults. We sometimes have parents come in to ask for help. However, these parents didn’t think to bring their kid with them.)

    Mother: *walking up to the reception desk* “Are companies even hiring students?”

    Me: “Uhm… yes. Yes, they are. It’s summer – there are a lot of seasonal positions to fill.”

    Mother: “But my son can’t find a job.”

    Me: *looking behind her to try to spot her son* “It can take a little bit to find something. Has he come in to see us yet?”

    Mother: “No, he doesn’t want to.”

    Me: “Well, it would be a good first step. Does he have a resume yet? Has he written cover letters before?”

    Mother: “He’s got a resume, but I write his cover letters for him.”

    Me: *hoping I heard her wrong* “I’m sorry? You write them for him?”

    Mother: “Yeah, or he wouldn’t do it!”

    Me: “Well, he really has to be the one to write them; it’s not a good situation if the employer is under the impression your son is writing them when he’s not.”

    Mother: “Oh, I tell them.”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Mother: “I write, ‘I’m writing on behalf of my 16-year-old son, who is in need of a job.’ They know it’s not him. He doesn’t know I’m applying to jobs for him.”

    Me: “…”

    Mother: *becoming irate* “He needs a job!”

    Me: “I understand, ma’am. But you can’t apply to jobs for your son. He has to apply for them himself.”

    Mother: “But he won’t apply on his own! All he does is sit on his a**s in the basement and play video  games!”

    Me: *trying to sound professional* “Ma’am, have you considered banning him from playing games until he applies for jobs?”

    Mother: *affronted* “I can’t do that to my son! That would be cruel! He just needs a job!”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry, ma’am. I can’t give him a job. He has to go out and earn one for himself.”

    Mother: “Fine, then.”

    (She turned to leave and I noticed her husband had been face-palming behind her, shaking his head in shame.)

    That Line Is Dead

    | Invercargill, New Zealand | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

    (I am selling a customer a dryer. For warranty purposes our system logs everyone’s purchases under their names and phone numbers.)

    Me: “What’s your phone number, sir?”

    Customer: “It’s [number].”

    Me: “So, that will be going under [Woman's Name]?”

    Customer: “No. That’s my wife’s name.”

    Me: “Is that okay?”

    Customer: “Well, she’s dead at the moment so I’m not sure how that would work…”

    Mothers In Disguise

    | OH, USA | Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

    (I am shopping to get some polos for my mom and my little brother, who are at a concert. I am a 20-year-old woman; however, my voice makes me sound younger. I also love a particular robot franchise. I am searching the toy aisle for a figure that I don’t have, when I approach another customer in the aisle.)

    Customer: *huffs, turns to her husband* “Look at her. Can’t keep them together.”

    Me: *looks at her*

    Customer: “Yes, I am talking about you! You shouldn’t be having children at your age!”

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “And how can you afford to spoil your kid? You can’t get a decent job like that!”

    Me: *realizing what she is implying* “Actually, I can spoil my kids.” *reaches into my shopping basket to pull out a can of cat treats* “See?”

    Customer: *crosses her arms*

    Me: “This…” *pulls a buildable figure off the rack* “…is for me.”

    Customer: “So immature!”

    (I am used to getting criticism for liking the robot franchise, which is aimed at younger boys.)

    Me: *shrugs* “So?

    (Just then, the woman’s son peers from another aisle.)

    Customer’s Son: “Mommy, I can’t find them with the Legos.” *looks at me* “Is that [Character]?”

    Me: “Yes, it is!”

    Customer’s Son: “That’s the one I want!”

    Customer: *turns to face away*

    Me: *kneels down to hand it to her son* “Do you have [Other Character]? He goes with [Character].”

    Customer’s Son: “Really?”

    Me: “Yep! They and [Third Character] make a group known as a trine. They’re best together.”

    (The woman’s husband grabs the other character’s box as the woman sulks away.)

    Customer’s Son: “Thank you! Sorry Mommy was mean. She said [Franchise] is for little kids and I’m a big boy, but now I know it’s for big girls, too!”

    Bored To Death At School

    | Long Island, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m working as a cashier when a man and his young daughter (about nine or ten) come in. The girl looks upset.)

    Me: *to the girl* “Hi, there! How was school?”

    Girl: “I HATE school!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. What don’t you like about it?”

    Girl: “Everything, except for lunch and recess.”

    Me: “Well, what DO you like? What interests you?”

    Girl: *looking me right in the eye and smiling* “DEATH!”

    (Needless to say, I was speechless.)


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