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    Category: Family & Kids

    A Sizeable Lack Of Information

    | Gaithersburg, MD, USA | Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

    (On a slow evening, a customer comes in and immediately approaches me at the counter.)

    Me: “How are you this evening, ma’am? Is there anything I can help you find?”

    Customer: “I’m looking for sweater for my daughter.”

    Me: “Okay. What size is she in? And is the sweater for any particular occasion?”

    Customer: “Well, she’s petite and slim. Really small for her age.”

    Me: “Well, what size shirt does she wear?”

    (It’s really hard to sell to a customer when you don’t know what they are shopping for.)

    Customer: “She’s petite and small.”

    Me: “Well, how old is she?”

    Customer: “She is small for her age.”

    Me: “I understand that, but if I don’t know what size she is in, I can’t show you what I have available in that size.”

    Customer: “She is slender and petite.”

    (Giving up, I show her the only sweater I have in stock for girls.)

    Me: “Okay. I have this one here. It’s great for the spring time and can be dressed up or down depending on the occasion. The biggest it comes in is a 5T.”

    Customer: “Oh, that’s too small.  She’s a size eight.”

    (The customer left the store telling me I should’ve known what size she was looking for.)

    Silver Linen To Every Cloud

    | USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging

    (We have multiple very large groups staying with us, so all the extra bed sheets are taken up.)

    Guest: “My child threw up on the bed! I need new linens!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we have no more.”

    Guest: “Nonsense! You are supposed to help! It’s your job! Now fetch my linens and don’t be lazy about it!”

    Me: “Sir, I’m not kidding. We don’t have any more. How am I supposed to get you some more linens when I don’t have what you need?”

    (The guest yells angrily, so I bring the manager out.)

    Manager: “What’s the problem?”

    Guest: “I’ll tell you what’s the problem! This hotel has no more linens! What kind of hotel has no more linens to give!”

    (My manager takes the angry guest out and walks with him someplace. When she returns, she is alone.)

    Me: “What happened?”

    Manager: “I showed him the lobby, which was full of people. I showed him the pool, which was full of people. Then I showed him the hallways, which were also full of people, and told him that every one of them has asked for linens and we ran out. He got real quiet, grunted, and then ran off to his room!”

    Bad Parenting Just Hit The Motherlode

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

    (I am 16 years old and working at a local grocery store, collecting carts outside. I notice an man standing next to a van with its door wide open and two young girls inside. The man informs me that one of the girls is having a nosebleed, and I notice a puddle of blood on the ground.)

    Me: “Little girl, who are you here with?”

    Little Girl: “My mommy is in the store, but she leaves us in the car.”

    Me: “I’m going to go inside and look for her. What’s her name?”

    Little Girl: “Mommy.”

    Me: “Okay, uh, what’s your last name?”

    (The girl tells me and I go inside while a coworker goes out to watch the girls. I explain to another coworker at customer service what is going on and she pages the mother.)

    Coworker: *over the intercom* “Mrs. [Name], please report to the service desk.”

    (We wait for five minutes and no one shows up. My coworker pages again. Five more minutes pass and still nothing. The mother is paged a third time. 20 minutes after that, a HALF HOUR after the first page, a woman uses the self-checkout and then comes up to the desk asking what they want. They inform her of the situation.)

    Woman: “That little brat better have not bled on the car. She knows she’s supposed to lean out the window.”

    Me: *after a pause in utter disbelief* “Ma’am, you continued shopping while your child could be in need of medical attention?!

    Woman: “She does this all the time, but I know it’s just for attention. I’m not gonna miss a sale because of that.”

    (She left with my coworker and me staring at each other, open-mouthed with shock. I looked out the front window to see the man who originally noticed the girls yelling at her. Going outside to make sure there wasn’t a fight, we heard him yelling about protective services and writing down her license plate number as the woman jumped into her car and sped away.)

    Questionable Behavior

    | Pullman, WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, School

    (While I am a student I work as a tour guide for prospective students.)

    Me: “Now if you have any questions. Feel free to ask me anything that doesn’t violate my fifth amendment rights!”

    (A good portion of the groups laugh as expected. The tour continues with me answering the occasional question. A mother of a high-school girl has one.)

    Mother: “What are your enrollment numbers?”

    Me: “Our undergrad enrollment is [number]. If you count grad students it goes up to [higher number].”

    Mother: “Thank you.”

    (Several minutes later, this same mother asks another questions.)

    Mother: “Where are the dining halls and how many options do they serve?”

    Me: “Well, ma’am…”

    (I proceed to give her every piece of info I can about meal plans, the dining locations, and even the specific food items. Several more minutes into the tour…)

    Mother: “I heard that last year you had a swine flu epidemic and had to shut down the school!”

    (At this point I wonder if she is clueless or deliberately trying to get a question I can’t answer.)

    Me: “Actually, several students were diagnosed but nowhere near an epidemic.”

    Mother: “How do you know? I heard they had to cancel two football games here!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I go to every home football game. If they really did cancel a football game then I have no idea what I was watching.”

    (Some of the other parents are trying to contain their laughter, and even this woman’s daughter looks embarrassed at her mom)

    Mother: “Fine.” *looks around and then points* “WHAT KIND OF BIRD IS THAT!?”

    (The rest of the group as this point cannot believe this is happening.)

    Me: “If we look at that bird, we can clearly see that’s a magpie, which my friend pointed out to me last week. Now moving on…”

    (At this point the mother pulls out a phone as we continue and about two minutes later I hear the daughter.)

    Daughter: “See? It was a magpie! Now, will you please stop!?”

    This Is Spyro-ing Out Of Control

    | Australia | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Technology

    (I am flicking through some pre-owned games, minding my own business when a late 20s age looking woman speaks to me:)

    Customer: “Do you know where the Skylanders discs are?”

    (As much as I would like to work there, I don’t work there. I don’t have a uniform or anything that says I work there. I was most likely in a shirt with a game reference on it.)

    Me: “What, Skylanders discs? I don’t know what you are talking about.”

    Customer: “You’re a boy. You should know what they are. My little [Son] wants me to get him some characters for his game.”

    Me: “Um, Skylanders characters aren’t discs but toy figures, and I don’t work here.”

    Customer: “You are lying. Prove that Skylanders are toys.”

    (I take this woman over to the ‘Skylanders’ toys and give a random one to her.)

    Customer: “This is just a toy, not a disc.”

    Me: “Okay, you must have seen your son play the game. These are what you put on a pad thing to play the character.”

    Customer: “But then how do you explain how the game saves then?”

    Me: “Have you ever used wireless internet?”

    Customer: “Yes, why?”

    Me: “It is like that on a small scale, and only works with the toys. Now are you going buy one of the toys?”

    (The customer’s eyes shoot open.)

    Customer: “I don’t remember what ones he wanted.”

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