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    Category: Family & Kids

    Size Matters, Part 7

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Family & Kids

    Small child: “Mommy! I just saw a fish that was as big as Aunt Karen!”

    Mom: “There is NO fish that’s as big as Aunt Karen.”

    Related:
    Size Matters, Part 6
    Size Matters, Part 5
    Size Matters, Part 4
    Size Matters, Part 3
    Size Matters, Part 2
    Size Matters

    Dodging The Point

    | Massachusetts, USA | Family & Kids

    (I’m refereeing a dodgeball game at a widely known indoor trampoline park. I am currently watching over a little kids game. The mother of a crying child approaches me.)

    Mother: “Excuse me, but why is my son out?! Is he not allowed to play or something?”

    Me: “Ma’am, your son was hit with the ball.”

    Mother: “What do you mean?! That other kid clearly targeted my son!”

    Me: “I’m sure he did…this is dodgeball.”

    Mother: “I don’t get it.”

    Me: “You have to dodge balls. If you are hit with a ball in dodgeball, you are out.”

    Mother: “This is just stupid!” *leaves with her crying child*

    Mommy More Melee

    | Aberdeen, Scotland, UK | Family & Kids

    (A female customer who looks to be in her late thirties is at the counter asking about upcoming games releases for her 10-12 year old son, who is looking through the games on display. He runs up to the counter.)

    Child: “Mummy, mummy, can I have this game?”

    (He hands the 18+ rated game “Dead Island” to his mom, who looks at the back of the box.)

    Woman: *disgusted* “You’re not having this! Look, it’s got a man hitting a zombie with an axe on the back! I’ve got no problem with you shooting people, but an axe?!”

    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 3

    | Dublin, Ireland | Family & Kids, Rude & Risque

    (A kid walks into the store and brings “Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas” up to the counter. He’s no more than 11.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you rent that game. It’s for over 18 only.”

    Kid: “My mom lets me play this all the time!”

    Me: “Well, you’ll have to get her to rent it for you then.”

    (The kid stomps off and returns with his mother. She brings the game up.)

    Customer: “I want to rent this.”

    Me: “Well, I should tell you that it is a very violent game.”

    Customer: “I don’t mind that.”

    Me: “Well, in this game, you can actually pick up a hooker and beat her to death afterwards to get back your money. There’s loads of graphic violence and bad language.”

    Customer: *alarmed* “Bad language?” *turns to her son* “Darren, you know you’re not allowed things with bad language!” *grabs him by the arm and storms out with him in tow*

    Related:
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 2
    Grand Theft Innocence

    March Monthly Roundup: Booze, Beaus, Bongs, Bigots, & Bindings

    , , , , | Not Always Right | Bigotry, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Roundups, Rude & Risque, Underaged

    In addition to our weekly roundups, each month we’ll be sharing our most popular reader-voted stories.

    March Monthly Roundup: This month, we share five stories that show that customers can be bad, but at least they’re not boring!

    1. She Fought The Law, And The Law Won, Part 2:
      Think you’re going to buy booze for your underaged, 16-year-old daughter? Not on this liquor store employee’s watch!
    2. When Press Comes To Shove:
      A blustery customer counts on berating an employee to get his way; what he didn’t count on: the employee’s 6’5″, 250-lb. fiance waiting in the back.
    3. The Height Of (Mt.) Misogyny:
      Misogynists really should go jump off a cliff, but this sexist customer probably couldn’t make it to the top anyway.
    4. Weeding Out The Dumb Ones, Part 2:
      Either this guy’s in the wrong shop, or those are the LARGEST. BONGS. EVER.
    5. So Good She Doesn’t Need A Weapon:
      A little girl learns that although diamonds are forever, mommy’s handcuffs are for her eyes only.
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