Category: Family & Kids

Pint-Sized Theatrics

| Belgium | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids

(I am the lead actress in a play called ‘Man of La Mancha’. During one performance, a small child has been rather vocal during the show, but he was expressing his enjoyment of it, so I didn’t much mind. Later in the show, there is a scene where my character is violently attacked by a group of men. While I’m not in any real danger during the fight, I am acting afraid and screaming for help, so the effect is quite harrowing and the audience is usually hushed. Except for this night.)

Me: *in character, having been thrown to the floor* “Help! Someone please help me!”

(A moment of silence.)

Little boy in audience: *to the men* “You stop that!”

(My fellow actors and I have a good laugh about it backstage for the rest of the show. Afterwards, we go out to greet the audience in costume, at which point the little boy and his parents approach me.)

Mother: “You were all wonderful! And I’m very sorry if my little boy disrupted your performance, but he was very worried about you, and we’ve always taught him to stand up to bullies.”

Me: “Not at all!” *to the little boy* “Thank you for telling those men to stop. You were very brave.”

Little boy: *beaming* “You’re welcome! Are you okay?”

Me: “I’m just fine. It’s all pretend anyway, lil’ guy. We were just pretending to fight, I promise.”

Little boy: *somewhat unsure* “Okay… but if they try to beat you up again, you tell my daddy and he’ll take them to jail.” *gives me a big hug*

Me: *stifling laughter* “Okay, I promise!”

(I heard from one of the other actors who plays the ringleader of the men that he then approached him and told him that hitting girls was very bad, and to never ever do it again. My co-star, playing along, promised not to and told the little boy he had learned a valuable lesson. Now after we play that scene, I always threaten the guys with my pint-sized bodyguard and his policeman father.)

Rock Band Makes Real Musicians Fret

| Puyallup, WA, USA | Family & Kids, Musical Mayhem

(I’m working a game booth at a fair. The prize for the day is electric guitars, sans cables and amp.)

Young Boy: *comes up to the booth and looks at the prizes* “So, what are these for?”

Me: “What?”

Young Boy: “The guitars. Are they for a game or something?”

Me: “Oh! No, they’re just regular guitars.”

Young Boy: “Oh…” *walks away*

Bigotry & Hate Vs. The Pearly Gates

| Rapid City, SD, USA | Bigotry, Family & Kids, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It’s around Christmas and I’m a customer at a nationwide discount store. I notice a customer pointing at an African American angel display.)

Racist Customer: “Black angels? Who the f*** heard of black angels?? There ain’t no black angels in heaven!”

(This garners some outraged glares, especially from an African American family browsing nearby. However, before the employees can step in, this occurs…)

Family’s 8-year-old Daughter: “That’s because I’m not there yet!”

Racist Customer: *quickly leaves the story, embarrassed*

Daddy Meets Miss Demeanor

| Virginia Beach, VA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids

(I am temporarily relieving a coworker in the toddler room of our daycare so she can go to the restroom. A father arrives to pick up his child, who is familiar with me as the toddler room is next to the one I work in.)

Father: *on cellphone, very loudly* “No, I know, the delivery should have come in by now.”

Me: “Sir, here’s [child’s name’s] report and his coat.”

(He waves at me to be quiet. I keep trying to get his attention as I need his signature on some documents, but he waves me off even more with a huge frown. I give up and start putting the child’s coat on as the father taps his foot loudly.)

Child: “DADDY! Miss is talking!”

(The father finally gets off the phone long enough to sign the papers I need him to, although he does not hang up the call and speak to me. As they are leaving, the child turns round.)

Child: “Bye, miss!” *to his father* “Dada mean!”

Cooking Up A Storm

| MD, USA | Family & Kids, Holidays

(A confused woman and her child, about nine years old, approaches the counter.)

Customer: “Whole lot of people here today, isn’t there? Never seen it so busy.”

Me: “We get quite a crowd for Black Friday sale, yeah.”

Customer: *confused* “Black Friday?”

Me: “Retail nickname for the day after Thanksgiving.”

Customer: “Oh, I know, but that’s today? Yesterday was Thanksgiving?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: *looks down at her daughter* “Why didn’t you tell me it was Thanksgiving? Your grandmother is going to have my hide for missing dinner!”

(The sweet looking little kid looks back and smiles.)

Daughter: “Well, nana’s cooking sucks anyway.”

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