Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,215 thumbs up)
  • Category: Family & Kids

    The Only Place You’ll Be Driven Is Crazy

    | Macon, GA, USA | Family & Kids, Money, Transportation

    (I’m on the phone with a customer. I can hear kids running around and screaming in the background.)

    Customer: “I talked to the man earlier. He said y’all do cars for five hundred down?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: “What’s y’all… hold on a sec… *she yells at the kids making noise in the background* “QUIT THAT! I’M ON THE F***ING PHONE!” *back to me* “What do y’all need from me?”

    Me: “Well, we ask for a pay stub as proof of income, a copy of your driver’s license, and some references.”

    Customer: “Well, I do a daycare out of my home. That’s my job. Is that okay?”

    Not The Britest Bagel In The Bunch

    | Rhode Island, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (I’m a baker of the store, so I make all the donuts, bagels and muffins three days a week. This particular day I have finished baking and am now working on sandwich station. My hair is often multi-colored, so my coworkers call me ‘Rainbow Brite.’)

    Customer: “The girl making sandwiches got this hair in my food.”

    Coworker: “Oh, I’m very sorry, ma’am. Let me see that and we’ll remake it for you.”

    (The customer hands over a bagel which has a long blond hair sticking out of the cream cheese. My hair is short and currently black with pink/purple bangs. However, the customer’s daughter has long blond hair. Also, we don’t have a single blond girl working at our store—just two blond boys who have buzzcuts.)

    Coworker: “Well, ma’am, while this hair didn’t come from her, I’ll have her make it over for you anyways.”

    Customer: “Of course it’s her hair! Who else’s hair could it be?! I bet you are just covering for her. Let me speak to the person in charge.”

    Coworker: “Rainbow Brite, she wants to talk to you.”

    Me: *smiles* “Hi, hun, can I help you with something?”

    Customer: “I found this long blond hair in my bagel. Your coworker accused me of lying when I said it came from the girl making sandwiches!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, I can tell you she was telling the truth that the hair didn’t come from the sandwich girl, because that’s me, and my hair is neither blond nor long. However, I can remake your bagel and give you a refund if you would like.”

    Customer: “How dare you accuse me of lying?! I demand a refund!”

    Me: “Of course, ma’am. Let me make your bagel again.”

    (I remake her bagel and give her a refund. As she’s walking out, her daughter speaks.)

    Customer’s Daughter: “Mommy, why were you so mean to her? You got my hair in the bagel, not her!”

    Customer: *turns bright red and leaves in a hurry*

    Ah, Grandmothers, Part 2

    | NY, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Top

    (I am a customer in this story and am with my grandmother. The cashier is an older woman in her mid- to late-60s.)

    Cashier: “Well dearie, I think we’ve finished the returns. So, we can start on your purchases.” *starts scanning items*

    Me: “Thanks. It took me a while to find these bargains.”

    Cashier: “Well, I can tell by your savings now that you’ve done pretty well!”

    (Without warning, another customer pushes past me and my grandmother and starts trying to take my items.)

    Cashier: *to the other customer* “Excuse me, ma’am. These do not belong to you. These belong to these ladies here.”

    Other Customer: “RACISM! I knew this store was racist! Trying to take MY ITEMS and give them to this WHITE TRASH HERE!”

    (Note: the other customer is also white. My poor grandmother is bewildered and doesn’t know what to say or do. The cashier is on the verge of tears and calls security.)

    Me: “Excuse me, but those items are indeed mine. I spent almost two hours here with my grandmother trying to find them. If you want, I can tell you where I found them.”

    Other Customer: “LIES! You stole them from me! B***h, you are gonna get SUED!”

    (At this moment, security shows up.)

    Security: *to the other customer* “Oh, no she isn’t. Lady, we have to talk with you.”

    Other Customer: “About time! Take this trailer trash outta the store! Stealing my things! It’s a crime. I’ll sue you and your store and this b**** for thievery!”

    Security: “Lady, we have security cameras in the store. We checked them and discovered you have been the one stealing. So, you’re going to have to come with us.”

    Other Customer: “LIKE H*** I AM!” *runs out of the store with security chasing her*

    Cashier: *to me grandmother and I* “I am so sorry. Would you like store credit or something?”

    (My grandmother and I talk and decide not to take it because it wasn’t the store’s fault. Instead, I pay for my items and we leave. On our way out, we see the other customer is being questioned by police.)

    My Grandmother: *to the other customer* “B****! You got what you deserved. Karma got you back, fool!”

    Related:
    Ah, Grandmothers
    Ah, Mothers
    Ah, Fathers
    Ah, Fathers, Part 2

    At Least His Daughter Is On The Right Track

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (I’m a 17-year-old girl. I work as a hostess to pay for my gas money at a local restaurant that specializes in seafood. A family of three walks in: a mom, dad, and their daughter. They’re all well-dressed and the daughter is texting away on an iPhone.)

    Wife: “We have a reservation.”

    Me: “Name?”

    Wife: *gives their last name*

    Me: “Ah, yes, here it is. Table for three. If you would please follow me…”

    (I lead them to a table by the window.)

    Wife: “Thank you.”

    Husband: “Don’t thank her! This is unacceptable!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, is there a problem?”

    Husband: “OF COURSE there’s a problem! I want to be seated outside!”

    Me: “My apologies, sir, but all of the tables outside are taken. Your reservation has no specified preference, so according to restaurant policy, I took you to the first available table. Would you like to wait until a table on the patio is open?”

    Husband: “No! I want to be seated right now!”

    Wife: *to her husband* “Calm down, please.”

    Husband: “Your service is horrible!”

    Me: “I can get the manager for you, if you would like.”

    Husband: “Do it, now!”

    (The entire time, the daughter is still texting away. I fetch my manager and he sends me back to work. Two hours later, the family walks out. The daughter slips me something and leaves without a word. It’s a note and three folded twenty dollar bills.)

    Daughter’s Note: “Sorry that my dad is such an a**. I hope this makes up for it, and congratulations on the track meet last Thursday. We stayed inside, just so you know!”

    (Upon closer inspection, it turns out that she runs for one of our rival schools. I knew she looked familiar!)

    The Camper Is Not Always Right

    | Louisiana, USA | Family & Kids

    (It is the last day of camp, and the campers are even more unruly than usual. They have spent the last 30 minutes putting foam stickers everywhere, and I do mean everywhere.)

    Me: “Okay, guys and gals! Your parents will be here to pick you up soon, so let’s clean up a bit and get these stickers off the floor.”

    Camper: *eye roll* “I don’t understand why we have to pick this up. This is camp!”

    Me: “Well, the other counselors and I didn’t put stickers all over the floor. Do you expect us to pick this up?”

    Camper: “Yes! This is camp! We’re not at home, we’re at camp! We shouldn’t have to clean up after ourselves! That’s YOUR job!”

    Me: *jawdrop*

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