Featured:
  • Music With A Beautiful Ending
    (1,245 thumbs up)
  • April Theme Of The Month: Losing My Religion!

    Category: Family & Kids

    Mocha With An Extra Snot

    | AZ, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am working at a coffee shop and have recently started training a new barista hire. He’s a teenage boy whose parents come to visit him a lot while he’s working. His parents are very snotty and condescending. Their son seems a little bit spoiled and not used to work, but he is very pleasant with the staff and is improving quickly. One day, his parents come in while my coworker is away from the station, so I offer to take their order.)

    New Hire’s Mom: “We’ll take a pumpkin muffin, and we want that heated, and a large mocha.”

    Me: “Okay, and would you like your mocha latte hot or iced?”

    New Hire’s Mom: *narrowing her eyes* “I want my mocha hot, no whipped cream!”

    Me: “Okay, that will just take one minute.”

    (I read back their order before I ring them up, fully and precisely, as we are required to do to catch any mistakes.)

    Me: “So, that’s one muffin and one large mocha latte. That comes to [price].”

    New Hire’s Mom: “NO, NO, NO! I said I want a MOCHA! MO-CHA! MO! CHA! Not a mocha latte!”

    Me: “I don’t understand. Do you want it to be a mocha cappuccino?”

    New Hire’s Mom: “No! I just want a mocha with no latte! Is that so hard for you to understand?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I think you don’t understand. A mocha is just shorthand for mocha latte; it’s the same thing. The latte part is the espresso and milk, and it becomes a mocha latte when you add chocolate. Without the latte, you would just have the two pumps of syrup.”

    (I make the drink and demonstrate the steps for her, explaining how the drink is put together, and point out how the last step with the steam wand can either make it a latte or a cappuccino. When I try to give it to her, she glares at me.)

    New Hire’s Mom: “I don’t want that! I asked for a mocha, and that’s wrong!”

    Me: “I assure you, it’s the drink you ordered.”

    New Hire’s Mom: “No, I always order a mocha. I never get a latte! You’re incompetent! I know what I drink! I get it all the time! My son is a barista here, and he’s better than you!”

    Me: “I know, ma’am. I’m the one training him, and he’s still learning the job. I’ve been doing this for some time and know my way around a coffee.”

    (My coworker, the new hire, emerges from the kitchen and walks over to greet his parents.)

    Me: “Hey, would you like to show your parents what you’ve learned on the machine?”

    New Hire: “Yeah! What would you like?”

    New Hire’s Mom: *looks smugly at me* “We want a heated pumpkin muffin, and a large mocha.”

    (I finish ringing them up. He goes to work and starts showing off, explaining why the fine ground espresso packed tightly makes the drink stronger, what the buttons are for, etc. He is being a great little salesman. The whole time he is demonstrating, his mom looks more and more embarrassed because he is mirroring what I’ve already showed her. When he is finished, I remind him.)

    Me: “Don’t forget the last step before you serve!”

    New Hire: *proudly* “Here you go, mom! One mocha latte and one hot pumpkin muffin!”

    New Hire’s Mom: *takes it and leaves, absolutely livid*

    A Very Moral Figure(ine)

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Awesome Customers, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids

    (I work at a small, family-owned and operated movie store that also sells various movie/anime merchandise. Lately, we’ve been having trouble with a specific group of kids coming in and stealing from us. I’m currently managing the register when I notice one of the kids in the group entering the store, being pulled in by his mother. She sees me and heads over to my counter. The owner also sees this and heads over towards us.)

    Mother: “I’m really hoping you can help me.”

    (She reaches into her purse, pulls out an anime figurine, and places it on the counter.)

    Mother: “See, I was cleaning my son’s room yesterday when I found this on his desk. I did a little more cleaning and I found its box that had your store’s price tag on it. Despite what he says, I know that I didn’t buy it for him; I believe he stole from you all. So, we’re here to return it and make this right.”

    Me: “I’m happy that you want to do the right thing and all, but unfortunately I’m unable to return opened merchandise, especially without its original packaging.”

    Mother: “Please, you have to take this back. I work two jobs just to pay the bills; I can’t afford this toy nor does he deserve it. There must be some way.”

    Owner: “Ma’am, I appreciate you coming in and trying to do the right thing. I know it wasn’t you who stole from me; it was your son. With all due respect, I don’t believe you should have to waste your hard earned money to fix his mistake. With your permission, I’d like to suggest an alternative solution.”

    (The owner’s solution? Every Saturday for the next two months, that kid came in and ‘volunteered’ to help out around the store. At the end of the two months, he learned a valuable lesson and even paid for the stolen figurine.)

    Why Nurses Should Rule The World

    | TX, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Top

    (My 5-year-old son has received a serious injury to his eye. After a pediatrician recommends us to an eye doctor, we are referred to a specialist that works out of a university two hours away from home.)

    Nurse: “These are all the contact numbers you should need. I also went online for some directions, and called ahead to let them know it should only be a few hours.”

    My Son: “I don’t want to.”

    Nurse: “What’s the matter?”

    My Son: *visibly getting upset* “I’m scared.”

    Nurse: “But you’ve been so brave this whole time! How about this: if you go see the new doctor, I’ll give you my phone number and you can call me if you get too upset, okay?”

    (The nurse writes down her work extension and cell phone number on a piece of paper and adds it to my paperwork, insisting that I feel free to call if I have any problems or questions. My son stays calm all the way to the university and through the appointment with the specialist until we’re told he’s going to need surgery. Crying and upset, he begs me to call the nurse from the clinic.)

    Me: *on the phone* “I’m so sorry to bother you, I know you’re still working, but he’s really upset and asked to talk to you.”

    (I put the phone on speakerphone so my son, crying on the exam table, can hear.)

    Nurse: “Hey buddy! What’s wrong?”

    My Son: *crying* “The doctor here wants to give me surgery!”

    Nurse: “There’s nothing wrong with that. It’ll make your eye all better. You’ll be able to see again, like we talked about.”

    My Son: “But I’m scared! It’s going to hurt!”

    Nurse: “Of course it’s not going to hurt. That nice doctor wouldn’t hurt you!”

    My Son: “Have you been given surgeries?”

    Nurse: “Yeah kiddo, a few.”

    My Son: “And you came back to life?”

    Nurse: “Every single time.”

    My Son: “Promise?”

    Nurse: “Swear.”

    (My son has calmed down considerably throughout the conversation, and there’s not a dry eye in the room.)

    My Son: “…Okay…”

    Nurse: “See? I knew you were brave.”

    My Son: “Thank you! Love you!”

    Nurse: *laughing* “Love you, too.”

    (I thanked the nurse a thousand times, and she insisted I call her ASAP to let her know how the surgery goes. Later that day, she texted us a picture of herself and her family with a ‘GET WELL SOON’ sign they made for my son!)

    Related:
    Why Bus Drivers Should Rule The World
    Why Cashiers Should Rule The World
    Why Barkeeps Should Rule The World, Part 2
    Why Barkeeps Should Rule The World

    Taming The Feral Customers

    | Bristol, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I work in the Petting Corner are of the zoo, where twice a week we show the new arrivals and the young animals. Today, we have a young tiger cub who has not once attacked as he is quite tame. We have an experienced tiger handler, who is from another branch of our zoo. It’s mostly kids that come to pet the tiger, but some adults seem to love him too.)

    Me: “…and here we have the young tiger cub, Jumanji, who comes here twice a week! Now, don’t be shy, he’s tame, and we have our experienced tiger handler Tom on hand! All of you who would like to pet him, please make a queue.”

    (I turn to Tom, the tiger handler.)

    Me: “Tom, can you hold him in your lap?”

    (I move away to make preparations for the next part of Petting Corner. As I do this, a young man with his son pushes ahead, knocking over several young kids. A concerned mother speaks up.)

    Mother: “Hey! How dare you! My son has been waiting in line and you barged in?!”

    Man: “Shut the f*** up, you b****! Go on, son. Pet the tiger!”

    Son: “Yay!” *starts jabbing the tiger in the ribs* “This tiger isn’t doing anything!”

    Me: “Stop that! The tiger is getting angry! Don’t jab him!”

    (At this point, I’m running to him to stop him, and Tom is trying to shield the tiger’s ribs from him. The tiger tries to scratch the brat, but nicks Tom slightly instead.)

    Man: “This tiger isn’t tame at all! My son could have been scratched! I want compensation!”

    Me: *angry* “You won’t get any! I demand you get out of this zoo, now!”

    (I turn to the kids, trying to be calm as possible.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but the tiger will be back next week.”

    Man: *screaming* “DON’T LISTEN! THE TIGER IS DANGEROUS!”

    Mother: “Almost as dangerous as you!”

    (Suddenly, the mother puts the man in a choke hold—yes, a choke hold—and pins him with the help of the other parents.)

    Mother: “Call security!”

    (Afterwards, the man was arrested and they were both banned for life. The people who helped got 12-month passes for their assistance!)

    The Holy Twi-Light

    | Norfolk, VA, USA | Family & Kids, Religion

    (I am teaching a children’s Bible Study lesson on the sons of Isaac.)

    Me: “So the first twin’s name was Esau, which means hairy. And his brother came out holding onto his heel, and his parents named him Jacob.”

    Girl #1: “Like the werewolf in Twilight?”

    Girl #2: “Why did they name him Jacob? Does it mean ‘holding heels’ or something?”

    Me: “Uh… hold on.”

    (I go to the back of the room to look in the Bible, and see if it mentions why they chose the name Jacob.)

    Girl #1: “Jacob is like the name from Twilight!”

    Me: “Please don’t mention that book around me.”

    Girl #3: “Do you like Twilight, Miss [my name]?”

    Me: “No, I do not!”

    Girl #1: “Why not?”

    (I open my mouth to answer, but…)

    Boy: “Because it’s BAD!”

    Page 104/168First...102103104105106...Last