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    Category: Family & Kids

    Even Customers Fall Short

    , | Kansas City, Missouri, USA | Family & Kids, Underaged

    (I am in a local dollar store/pharmacy. This happened to me when I as ten years old. An elderly looking woman comes up.)

    Customer: “Do you work here?”

    Me: “Me?”

    Customer: “Yes, you.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m still in grade school.”

    Customer: *mumbling while walking away* “Lazy employees. Always coming up with excuses!”

    Who Needs Learnin’ When You Can Be Sun Burnin’

    | Canton, MI, USA | Family & Kids

    (A coworker and I are cleaning up the magazines. A father and his two kids are walking by.)

    Father: *to his son* “I just can’t believe you’re wasting your time looking at books when it’s such a nice day outside!”

    This Apple Fell Far From Its Tree, Part 2

    | Boston, MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids

    (I work at a museum catering to children. A man and his son are examining our electronic magnifier, which has clear instructions in large type right next to it.)

    Dad: *yanking and knocking on machine* “How does this stupid thing work?!”

    Son: “Well, did you read the directions?”

    Dad: “What directions?!”

    Son: “The words under that big sign that says ‘Directions’.”

    Related:
    This Apple Fell Far From Its Tree

    Momma Knows Best

    | Florida, USA | Family & Kids

    Me: “It sounds like the fireworks are just starting. I can hear them.”

    Boy: “Good, that means we can go on the big ride next door! All the dumb people will watch the fireworks when they could be riding the—”

    Boy’s Mother: *chiding her son* “Now, now, they’re not ‘dumb people.’ They’re ‘suckers.’”

    Egg On Your Face

    | Washington, USA | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (I’m kind of petite, so when I’m in the box office I get a lot of kids who seem to think they can intimidate me into selling them R-rated tickets. This particular customer is a classmate of my little sister’s who annoys everyone by walking around repeating ‘I like eggs’ over and over and over again.)

    Kid: “Me and my friend want to see Beerfest.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell you the ticket.”

    Kid: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “You’re not 17.”

    Kid: “How the h*** do you know?”

    Me: “One, you don’t look it. Two, you’re in my sister’s class.”

    (The kid stomps off, and goes to the other side of the box office to try the same thing. When it doesn’t work, he comes back with his father.)

    Kid’s Father: “Let me get this straight. It’s a movie theater…and you can’t discriminate against customers…but you won’t let my boy into that movie because he’s too young?!”

    Me: “It’s rated R, sir.”

    Kid’s Father: *to his son* “You told me it was PG-13.”

    Kid: “She’s lying!”

    Me: “Sir, the marquee says it’s rated R. Any website you look at will say it’s rated R. There’s really no way to lie about it.”

    Kid’s Father: “I guess that means I have to go with him, huh?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Kid’s Father: *to his son* “That’s it. You’re waiting for DVD.”

    Kid: “This is so not fair! You can’t do this to me!” *to me* “Don’t you know who I am?!”

    Me: *calmly* “My sister tells me you like eggs.”

    Kid’s Father: *laughs hysterically* “If I could give you a high five, I would!”


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