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    Category: Family & Kids

    A Killer Whale Of A Story

    | Netherlands | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

    (It’s nearing the end of summer and my coworker and I are clearing away the summer theming in our shop window to make place for something else. This happens as I’m about to cut up an inflatable Orca.)

    Child: “No, don’t kill it! Can I please have it?”

    Coworker #1: “Yeah, sure.”

    Child: “Yes! I can take it home and care for it in our pool. It needs water to live in!”

    Coworker #1: *hands the child the toy* “Now, be very careful with it because it’s very fragile—”

    Child: *runs out of the store to his mother before my coworker can finish*

    Me: “How cute, I bet he’ll take good care—”

    Mother: *smacks the inflatable against a few objects and stamps on it with her high heels*

    Me: “Never mind…”

    (About an hour passes as I overhear a conversation going on at the till. I notice the child with his mother and the popped toy.)

    Mother: “Well, clearly it’s faulty. Look at it! It’s full of holes, and that was out of the packaging!”

    Coworker #2: “I’m really sorry, but without a receipt I cannot provide you with a new one.”

    Mother: *to her child* “Do you hear that? They sell me a broken toy and refuse to replace it. I want to speak to the manager!”

    Me: “Excuse me, miss, but I believe a colleague of mine gave your child that toy and you destroyed it just outside the shop.”

    Mother: “How dare you make such an accusation? Who do you think you are?”

    Me: “I’m the person that set up the display with that same toy several months before. I marked it with a black pen around the valve noting that it would be destroyed at the end of the display time. I’m also the person that was there watching you destroy the toy outside.”

    Mother: “That is a lie and I want a new toy!”

    Coworker #2: “I cannot give you a new one without your receipt.”

    Child: “Mommy, you said that if you made it leaky, you could get me a brand new one for free!”

    Mother: “Well, you will because I know I’m right and they are wrong. I’ll just buy you a new one and send in a complaint on their website!”

    (The mother proceeds to buy a new inflatable orca. It’s a size smaller and a different color then the one from the display since we didn’t have anymore large ones.)

    Mother: *to her child* “See, if you are smart and cunning, you get what you want whenever you want!”

    Bowling For Breadwinners

    | Massapequa, NY, USA | Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a dollar store in the area where I pack out boxes for a summer job. I am assembling plastic cups in the children’s section when I hear a large bang behind me. I turn around and find a child holding a heavily-loaded shopping cart loaded inches away from my legs. With all that weight, he could have severely injured me. The cart apparently hit the box I was packing out from.)

    Customer: “Mommy! I almost hit him!”

    Customer’s Mom: “Don’t worry sweetie. You’ll get him next time!”

    (I never asked to work in the children’s aisle again!)

    Never Say No To La Novia

    | Roselle, NJ, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Top

    (I am watching my girlfriend’s two-year-old sister near the counter while she does her shopping. Her sister is learning to talk in Spanish, so I’m quizzing her with colors. While we’re playing, a seven-year-old girl approaches us and asks to play because she takes Spanish at school. Everything is fine until the girl’s mother comes.)

    Mother: “Leona, what are you doing? You know not to bother people.”

    Me: “Oh, she’s not, ma’am. She just asked to play with me and my girlfriend’s sister.”

    Mother: “Girlfriend?” *thinks for a few moments* “Oh, a close friend! Sorry, I was thinking you meant a girl you were dating.”

    Me: “I did. I am dating a girl. This little girl is her sister and your daughter was just playing with us. She wasn’t bothering us.”

    Mother: “What?! Leona, you were playing with a homo?!? Come over here, right now!”

    (In tears, the girl slowly approaches her mother, who yells at her about how she knows better than to interact with “h***-bound sinners” like me. She then chides me for “sinning” around such a small child, referring to my girlfriend’s sister. While I’m speechless, a man comes up, who I assume is the girl’s father.)

    Father: *to the mother* “I got the rest of the stuff. What are you yelling about?”

    Mother: *to her daughter* “Tell Daddy what you did!”

    (In hysterics, the girl tells her father what happened, ending her telling by clinging to his leg and apologizing over and over. I’m feeling dreadful and very guilty and am near tears myself. But to my surprise, this happens.)

    Father: *to the mother* “Are you serious?! What is wrong with you?! I don’t even know why I came out with you! Just go wait in the car! Sheesh!”

    (The mother, now apparently embarrassed, exits the store. The father calms his daughter down and apologizes to her and me before leaving. Right after they leave, my girlfriend comes up, having seen the whole thing.)

    My Girlfriend: “I actually know that family. The father moved in next door to me two weeks ago. That girl’s parents are divorced and her parents have joint custody of her, but today is her birthday and she wanted to be with both of them together. They said yes to make her happy, but I don’t think that’ll happen again.”

    (A few weeks later, my girlfriend tells me the father got full custody of his daughter. Now, she and my girlfriend’s sister play together on a daily basis, and I occasionally help her with her Spanish homework.)

    A Sign Of The Times

    | Manitou Springs, CO, USA | Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

    (Note: I am working the ticket counter giving out prizes. A guy and his teenage daughter are examining a glass display case with stuff inside. Suddenly, the daughter backs up a foot and launches herself directly into the case, almost knocking it over.)

    Me: “Please do NOT push on the glass!”

    Father: *angrily* “Well, there should be a sign or something! How was she supposed to know that would happen?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but people don’t generally throw themselves in to our GLASS cases.”

    Father: “Well, there should be a sign! Geeze!” *storms out*

    Butting In

    | Ridgewood, NJ, USA | Family & Kids

    (My job involves calling people to set up demos. During one such phone call, the following occurs.)

    Me: “Hello, is [name] there?”

    Customer: “No, she’s not at home right now. This is her husband.”

    Me: “Okay, is there a better time for me to reach her?”

    (Suddenly, I hear someone pick up the phone. It’s a child’s voice, and very audible.)

    Young Voice:Hello?

    Customer: *ignores her* “Well, what are you calling in reference to?”

    Young Voice:Dad?

    Me: “I’m friends with [friend], and she said your wife might be nice enough to help me out with something.”

    Young Voice:Dad?

    Customer: *to his kid* “One second, sweetie.” *to me* “You know, why don’t I take a message?”

    Young Voice:Dad?

    Me: “Yeah, that works, too.”

    Young Voice:Dad?

    Customer: “Okay, what’s your name?”

    Me: “I’m [name].”

    Young Voice:Dad? Can you come upstairs, please?

    Customer: *to his kid* “Just give me a minute!” *to me* “And how do you spell that?”

    Me: *I spell it out*

    Young Voice:Dad?

    Customer: “And your phone number?”

    Young Voice:Dad?

    Me: “It’s [area code]—”

    Young Voice:Dad?

    Me: *says the next three digits*

    Young Voice:DAD? DAAAAAD?

    Customer: “Sorry, could you repeat that?”

    Me: *repeats the next three digits*

    Customer: “Okay.”

    Me: *says the next four digits*

    Young Voice:DAD!

    Customer: “Just a minute, please!” *to me* “Could you repeat that again?”

    Me: *repeats the next four digits*

    Customer: “Okay, so that’s [name] at [phone number]. I’ll make sure she gets that. Thanks.”

    Young Voice:DAD, I NEED YOU TO COME UPSTAIRS AND WIPE MY BUTT!

    Customer: *click*

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