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    Category: Family & Kids

    Childlike Parenting

    | Washington, USA | Family & Kids

    (I am working in the children’s section of the bookstore. A parent comes in looking for a learn-to-read series for their kid.)

    Parent: “I want something that will teach my kid how to read.”

    Me: “Well, there are a few good series over here. My little cousin used Bob Books and really liked them.”

    Parent: “No, my kid needs sound too. Do you have anything like that?”

    Me: “Sure, there are two right here.”

    Parent: “So, if I buy one of these, I can just let my kid learn to read all by themselves? I won’t have to help them at all?”

    Me: “Um, you want a learn to read series that doesn’t require you actually spend any time reading with your child?”

    Parent: “Yes. Absolutely. You have that, right?”

    Me: “No, we don’t. Any child who is learning to read requires some parental involvement. You could let them read to you as a way of checking on their progress. That would be the absolute bare minimum.”

    Parent: “Well, that sucks! So much for technology improving our lives!”

    Mother Doesn’t Know Best

    | Kentucky, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top

    (My mother and I are on a drive to Florida when we stop at a small gas station. A customer and her six- or seven-year-old daughter walk away from the restrooms to the counter.)

    Cashier: “May I help you?”

    Customer: “Your bathrooms are DISGUSTING! Let me talk to a manager! They make me SICK!”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the manager isn’t in right now. Would you like me to file a complaint?”

    Customer: “No! I want you to clean the GODD*** BATHROOMS!

    (At this point, the little girl is trying to drag her mother away and is telling her to calm down. The cashier is clearly shaken and on the verge of tears.)

    Cashier: *tearing up* “I’m sorry, but that’s not my position, and the janitors aren’t in right now. Is there anything else I can do?”

    Customer: “NO, GODD*** IT! JUST GO CLEAN THE D*** TOIL—”

    (At this point, my mother has had enough and speaks up in defense of the cashier.)

    My Mother: “Look. She has told you she can’t clean it. She has offered solutions. Now use the dirty toilets or you can leave! You don’t have to be such a b****!”

    Customer: *taken aback* “Well, I…I…HMPH!”

    (She storms out, dragging her kid by the arm. After we leave a second later, we see the woman and her little daughter in the parking lot.)

    Customer’s Daughter: “Goodness, Mommy! you didn’t have to be so mean to that lady. She was crying!”

    The Dark Chocolate Knight

    | Virginia, USA | Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Top

    (I work in a coffee shop. I am on break in the lobby when a couple walks in. Directly behind them is a cute little boy in Batman costume.)

    Me: “Oh my God! It’s BATMAN!”

    (The boy stops, strikes a pose and starts looking around menacingly. After a few seconds, he approaches the counter.)

    Mother: “Jeff, would you like a chocolate milk?”

    Boy: “I am not Jeff. I am The Batman.”

    Mother: “The Batman, would you like a chocolate milk?”

    Boy: “Yes. Yes, The Batman would.”

    (The couple pays while the boy sits down with his chocolate milk. He keeps a stern look on his face as he sips the drink.)

    Boy: *sips* “Gotham is safe.”

    Children Of The Scorn

    | Aurora, CO, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top

    (I’ve been at work for 8 hours and am finishing the last bit of the late-evening rush. A husband, wife, and their 6-year-old daughter come through the line with several items, one of which is a bike.)

    Husband: “Can you split these between a couple cards?”

    Me: “Of course. What amount would you like?”

    Wife: “This’ll be food stamps. One minute…”

    (The husband and wife stare at the card reader and babble between themselves which way to turn the card and what their pin is. I try to help several times, only to be scolded, so I remain quiet. As I wait, I start looking around randomly and eventually glance in the general direction of their daughter.)

    6-year-old Daughter: “The f*** you starin’ at, b****?!”

    Me: *shocked* “I’m sorry, I wasn’t…I didn’t mean…if you bring the bike over here, I can ring it up once your parents are finished—”

    6-year-old Daughter: “The f*** you say to me?!”

    Me: “Well, unless you paid for it in the back, in which case you’ll want to have your receipt out at the door since they’ll check larger purchases. It’s a pain, I know, but it’s just store policy—”

    6-year-old Daughter: “You racist c***! You just sayin’ that ’cause I’m [race], ain’t you? Shut the f*** up!”

    Me: “No, it has nothing to…it’s just store policy to check receipts—”

    6-year-old Daughter: “F*** you, f***ing racist b****! Y’all are racist! You is nothin’ more than a lil’ racist c*** askin’ me that s***! F*** you, you f***er! I ain’t got to do s***!”

    (The daughter screams for a few more minutes, carrying off the bike. Meanwhile, her parents finish with their groceries, apparently oblivious to their daughter’s behavior. The daughter continues to make obscene gestures and screams obscenities at me all the way out the door, being sure to also yell at the store’s door greeter.)

    Next Customer: “Morons…”

    Me: *immediately burst into tears*

    Next Customer: “Do you run into this often?”

    Me: *nodding* “M-more than i-is strictly n-necessary.”

    Next Customer: “Really? You’re too smart to be dealing with a**holes of that degree. I’d quit. Seriously, f*** that!”

    Me: *laughing* “Thank you!”

    (I put in my two weeks that night!)

    Don’t Throw Rocks In Glass Elevators

    | USA | Family & Kids, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (Note: I am a passenger on a cruise ship with my father. I am in my early 20′s and my father is in his late 50′s. We are in the elevator with some other passengers on our way back to our rooms.)

    Passenger: *glares at us* “That’s disgraceful!”

    Me: “I’m…sorry?”

    Passenger: “That’s disgraceful. The age difference between you two. You should be ashamed of yourselves! Absolutely disgusting!”

    (My dad and I give confused looks to each other. The other passengers have now begun to stare.)

    Dad: “You’re very right. After all, I used to change her diapers when she was a baby!”

    Passenger: “What?!”

    Me: “Yeah, older men aren’t my type. Plus, he’s my dad.”

    Passenger: *practically plows out of the elevator at the next floor*


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