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    Category: Family & Kids

    I Can Be Anything I Want

    , | Massachusetts, USA | Family & Kids, Rude & Risque

    Customer: “Do you sell stripper costumes?”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Customer: “Stripper or hooker, whatever. I need it for a Halloween costume party.”

    (I assume she’s dressing up herself in a party for adults.)

    Me: “Why don’t you just go to a lingerie store? Or perhaps an adult store?”

    Customer: “Well, they won’t be selling sizes that fit my kid. She’s 6.”

    Trick And/Or Treat

    | Westminster, CO, USA | Family & Kids

    (It’s getting close to Halloween. I’m doing my daily duties when I hear a woman talking to her son.)

    Son: “Mom, can we get these candies for Halloween?”

    Woman: “No! For the last time, we are not getting candy!”

    Son: “Why not?!”

    Woman: “I’m a teacher. Our house will get TP’d whether we have candy or not!”

    Parenting The Parents

    | Minnesota, USA | Family & Kids, Top

    (I am a 17 year old girl working at a boy scout camp. It is close to the end of the summer and I’ve gotten very used to encounters like these. The camp has motorized canoes on the river because the boys are generally too weak to row upstream. Some dads tend to abuse the canoes. This particular dad was very obnoxious.)

    Dad: *jumps into canoe*

    Me: “Uh, sir, we actually need to go over safety rules before you guys can start with the canoes, okay?”

    Dad: *blank stare*

    Me: “So…I’ll have to ask you to get out of the canoe.”

    Dad: *blank stare*

    Me: *more sternly* “Sir! I really need you to get out now so we can get started.”

    Dad: “No! You can’t tell me what to do! Do you think I don’t know how to use a canoe?!”

    Me: “Well, I’m sure you are very experienced with canoes, but some boys aren’t, so we just want to make sure everyone knows the ground rules.”

    Dad: “Do you know who I am? You can’t talk to me like this! Who do you think you are to talk to me like this? Do you know who I am? I have the power to fire your a**!”

    Coworker: “Whoa, hey, calm down. You don’t need to talk to her like that. She’s just doing her job.”

    Dad: “She works here?! So she like gets…paid and stuff?”

    Me: “Yes, I get paid and stuff.”

    Dad: “But you’re a girl!”

    Me: “Yes, I am a girl.”

    Dad: “At a boy scout camp! This is just wrong! You can’t work here! Who hired you? What sick freak would hire a girl to do a man’s job?!”

    (I begin writing names and numbers on a piece of paper.)

    Me: “Okay, well if you’d like to complain to my supervisor, here’s her number. Otherwise you can talk to the camp director; her name is Elizabeth.”

    Dad: *storms off*

    (Later, I find out that this same dad attempted to pop a wheelie in the canoe and was put on our “do not canoe” list.)

    An Immoral Pleasure Seeker

    | UK | Family & Kids

    (I work in a toy shop where we sell giant Bratz dolls. A customer comes over with one and asked whether or not it would be suitable for her two year old daughter.)

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am, I wouldn’t recommend this doll for any child under the age of 6.”

    Customer: “Why is this doll recommended for 6 years and over? My daughter’s two but she really wants one.”

    Me: “Well, I can’t really recommend that you buy the doll for a younger child, but I suppose if you remove the earrings then there wouldn’t be any small parts.”

    Customer: *looks the doll over* “Is it just because she’s dressed like a hooker?”

    Bespoke Babies

    | Springfield, MO, USA | Family & Kids

    (A customer comes up to my register with her child. It’s clear that her 5-year-old child has been wearing down her patience since the two started shopping. After repeatedly asking her mother to buy a piece of candy, the she finally snaps.)

    Customer: “If you do not stop it right now, I will leave you at the store here and they’ll put a price tag on you and place you on the shelf for sale.”

    Child: “No they won’t. I’m not for sale!”

    Me, to the child: *jokingly* “That’s actually not true. If you lift up the back of your hair, I can scan the bar code on the back of your neck and see how much we should price you for.”

    Customer, to the child: “See? Now, are you going to behave, or am I going to have to let them put you on the shelf for sale?”

    Child: “But…but…but you can’t buy me! I have to be specially made!”


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