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    Category: Family & Kids

    Birthright Is Wrong

    | Australia | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Language & Words

    Customer: “Oh! What an interesting accent! Which country are you from?”

    Me: “Thank you. I was born here, but my dad is Northumbrian, so I have a bit of his accent.”

    Customer: “So when did you arrive in Australia?”

    Me: “I never left. I was born here.”

    Customer: “No, that’s impossible. I don’t think you were. In fact, I KNOW you weren’t.”

    Me: “So, it’s impossible for my mother to have me in Australia with my dad, who migrated from the UK and has a strong accent that I picked up?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “I was born here in Australia, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Oh, you keep thinking that.” *winks and leaves the store*

    Marrying Together Archaic Ideas

    | Australia | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Spouses & Partners

    (I have a long-time repeat client, old but quite nice. As I am finishing up going through the paperwork and vouchers for his identical biannual holiday with his wife, I inform him I won’t be able to assist with his next trip as I’d be on maternity leave but I’ll pass his file over to my manager and she’ll be quite happy to assist.)

    Client: *blank look* “But you’re not… married.”

    Me: “Well… no…?”

    Client: “How can you be going on maternity leave, then?”

    Me: “Because I’m having a baby?”

    Client: But you’re not MARRIED?!”

    Me: “Uh, I know, but I appear to be pregnant and as I am having a child I need maternity leave…”

    Client: “BUT. YOU’RE. NOT. MARRIED. How can you be PREGNANT?”

    (Every week for the next seven months he came into my office, sat in front of me, and implored me to go and get married, to anyone – maybe that man over there? – because I needed to be married to have a child. Well, I have a child and I’m still not married. Occasionally he goes back into my old store and asks if I’m married yet.)

    A Whole New State Of Understanding

    | PA, USA | Family & Kids, Geography

    (I’m currently having a conversation with a little girl, about kindergarten age, while I do her nails.)

    Little Girl: “You know, I’ve never been to the United States of America.”

    Me: “Wait, what?”

    Little Girl: “I’ve never been to the States. I wonder what it’s like there?”

    Me: “You live in the United States, hun.”

    Little Girl: “I do?”

    Me: “Yes! You sure do!”

    Little Girl: “Wow, I thought I lived in the city!”

    The Warranty Comes Warranted, Part 2

    , | AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Technology

    (I’m selling a customer an iPad and introducing a new warranty which covers accidental damage, meaning you can replace your iPad for $50 rather than buying a whole new one. It’s a fantastic deal and, as the customer in question is buying the iPad for his eight-year-old daughter and wants the most expensive model, I am trying to convince him that the extra $99 for it is really worth it.)

    Me: “Sir, just to check, you’re getting this for your daughter, you said?”

    Customer: “Yeah. I mean, we’ll use it too, but it’s mostly for her.”

    Me: “I see. In that case, you really want to consider getting the extra warranty.”

    Customer: “But it comes with one that covers it for a year, right?”

    Me: “Yes, but it doesn’t cover accidental damage. If she accidentally drops it and cracks the screen, it’ll cost full price to replace without the warranty. With the warranty, it’s only $50 to replace it.”

    Customer: *considers it for a moment, then shakes his head* “Nah, we’ll be okay. I’ll tell her to be real careful.”

    Me: *gesturing to a nearby table where we have iPads set up for kids to play with* “Sir, I’m sure your daughter is really careful with her toys, but iPads are really fragile and kids sometimes forget they’re not as hardy as their other things.”

    (In perfect timing, a kid at the table then starts banging the iPad on the table hard. I grimace and the customer cringes slightly.)

    Customer: “Err, no, no. It’s okay. We’ll be careful.”

    (I get him to at least buy a screen cover and ring him up. He’s excited and happy at the end, so I figure everything’s all right and hopefully his daughter is as careful as he says she is. The next day, however, I see him come in with the iPad, case, and several small glass shards from the broken screen in a Ziploc bag. He sees me on his way to the tech counter and sheepishly holds up the bag.)

    Customer: “I guess you were right. I’ll get the warranty this time…”

    The Warranty Comes Warranted

    Didn’t Quite Hit The Nail On The Head

    | IN, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

    (I’m working in the child-watch section of the gym, where people leave their kids while they go work out. Normally it’s not too bad, but today it is just me and one other person and we have three kids less than a year old in addition to other kids. After a while, I finally manage to get two of them to sleep and some of the older kids come over to watch them.)

    Girl: “Her nails are so little and cute. We’d need just a drop of nail polish to color them. Can we paint her nails?”

    (I am stunned so I blurt the first thing that comes to mind.)

    Me: “No modifications made to the baby without her parent present.”

    Girl: “Huh?”

    Me: “No, you can’t paint her nails.”

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