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    Category: Family & Kids

    Questionable Behavior

    | Pullman, WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, School

    (While I am a student I work as a tour guide for prospective students.)

    Me: “Now if you have any questions. Feel free to ask me anything that doesn’t violate my fifth amendment rights!”

    (A good portion of the groups laugh as expected. The tour continues with me answering the occasional question. A mother of a high-school girl has one.)

    Mother: “What are your enrollment numbers?”

    Me: “Our undergrad enrollment is [number]. If you count grad students it goes up to [higher number].”

    Mother: “Thank you.”

    (Several minutes later, this same mother asks another questions.)

    Mother: “Where are the dining halls and how many options do they serve?”

    Me: “Well, ma’am…”

    (I proceed to give her every piece of info I can about meal plans, the dining locations, and even the specific food items. Several more minutes into the tour…)

    Mother: “I heard that last year you had a swine flu epidemic and had to shut down the school!”

    (At this point I wonder if she is clueless or deliberately trying to get a question I can’t answer.)

    Me: “Actually, several students were diagnosed but nowhere near an epidemic.”

    Mother: “How do you know? I heard they had to cancel two football games here!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I go to every home football game. If they really did cancel a football game then I have no idea what I was watching.”

    (Some of the other parents are trying to contain their laughter, and even this woman’s daughter looks embarrassed at her mom)

    Mother: “Fine.” *looks around and then points* “WHAT KIND OF BIRD IS THAT!?”

    (The rest of the group as this point cannot believe this is happening.)

    Me: “If we look at that bird, we can clearly see that’s a magpie, which my friend pointed out to me last week. Now moving on…”

    (At this point the mother pulls out a phone as we continue and about two minutes later I hear the daughter.)

    Daughter: “See? It was a magpie! Now, will you please stop!?”

    This Is Spyro-ing Out Of Control

    | Australia | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Technology

    (I am flicking through some pre-owned games, minding my own business when a late 20s age looking woman speaks to me:)

    Customer: “Do you know where the Skylanders discs are?”

    (As much as I would like to work there, I don’t work there. I don’t have a uniform or anything that says I work there. I was most likely in a shirt with a game reference on it.)

    Me: “What, Skylanders discs? I don’t know what you are talking about.”

    Customer: “You’re a boy. You should know what they are. My little [Son] wants me to get him some characters for his game.”

    Me: “Um, Skylanders characters aren’t discs but toy figures, and I don’t work here.”

    Customer: “You are lying. Prove that Skylanders are toys.”

    (I take this woman over to the ‘Skylanders’ toys and give a random one to her.)

    Customer: “This is just a toy, not a disc.”

    Me: “Okay, you must have seen your son play the game. These are what you put on a pad thing to play the character.”

    Customer: “But then how do you explain how the game saves then?”

    Me: “Have you ever used wireless internet?”

    Customer: “Yes, why?”

    Me: “It is like that on a small scale, and only works with the toys. Now are you going buy one of the toys?”

    (The customer’s eyes shoot open.)

    Customer: “I don’t remember what ones he wanted.”

    This Customer Is Phoney

    | Leeds, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Technology

    (It’s the early 2000s, and my dad and I are at my grandma’s house. We see a salesman making his way around the street, and my dad says he’ll deal with him when he gets to us.)

    Salesman: “Hello, sir! I’d just like to talk to you about your telephone service.”

    Dad: “Sorry, I don’t believe in phones.”

    Salesman: “You… don’t believe in phones?”

    Dad: “No, I don’t. I don’t think they’ll ever catch on.”

    (At this point, I’m not sure if the salesman is playing along or genuinely believes him.)

    Salesman: “Oh, but sir! Telephones are very popular now! Everybody uses them! Some people even have small ones they can carry around with them!”

    Dad: “That sounds ridiculous! Nope. Sorry, I’m not interested. Goodbye!”

    (He then returned inside, and picked up one of his three mobile phones to send a text message.)

    He’s Just Been KO’d

    | Dearborn, MI, USA | Family & Kids, Technology, Underaged, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m shopping at my local major games retailer, where the staff and I have an excellent relationship. I am finishing up my transaction when I hear a 12ish-year-old boy convincing his mother to buy him ‘Call of Duty: Ghosts.’)

    Kid: “But Mom, all my friends are playing it! They’re already making fun of me because it took me so long to get a PS4!”

    Mom: “Okay, okay… and you’re sure this isn’t a bloody or inappropriate game? I don’t like the look of the soldier on the front. I don’t want you playing anything like that Grand Theft whatever game.”

    Kid: “Oh, my god, Mom. I’m not a little baby anymore! Just get me the d*** game!”

    (Seeing the looks of apprehension and dread on the faces of the two guys behind the counter, as they now have the unhappy task of explaining to the mother of this brat why she shouldn’t buy it, I step in.)

    Me: “Miss, you should know that game is horribly violent and gory. It depicts lots of blood, war scenes, even an enhanced interrogation scene where you slowly kill a man for information. It’s something you’ll want to consider before buying it for your son.”

    Mom: “Oh, my gosh! [Kid], is this true?!”

    Kid: “No, Mom. He’s lying! He’s just some random fat guy!”

    (At this little insult, I decide to really ruin the kids day.)

    Me: “Ma’am, are you familiar with the MPAA’s movie rating system? Like how they rate movies based on their content? Well there’s a similar body called the ESRB, and they rate all major video game releases for their content.”

    (I show her their emblem on the back along with the description for their rating.)

    Me: “They even have a website where you can look up more specific details on each game. It’s a good way to research them.”

    Mom: “Oh, wow… Thank you so much. Can I trouble you to recommend a game for him?”

    (At this point, the kid is jumping up and down in frustration, making a scene, yelling at his mother, and calling me a liar. We choose a game and the mom questions the staff.)

    Mom: “I’m in here all the time. Why have you never told me about this rating system?! That’s pretty irresponsible not to inform the parents.”

    Employee #1: “Honestly, ma’am, we didn’t know you were buying it for a kid. We would’ve mentioned it if we knew.”

    Mom: “Of course I bought it for my child! Honestly, what sort of adult plays these stupid games?”

    Employee #2: “Me, my associate, the gentleman who helped you, and everyone who works at this store, to name a few.”

    (The mom goes red and pays for the game.)

    Mom: *on their way out* “When we get home, young man, I’m looking up all your games on this ESRB thing!”

    Kid: “NO! DON’T LISTEN TO HIM! HE’S JUST A F****** FAT A**!”

    No Holding Back

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (I work at a popular lingerie store that also sells a line of young women’s clothing. It’s nearly closing time on a Sunday night when a teenage girl and her mother come in.)

    Me: “Hi. Welcome to [Store]. What brings you ladies in tonight?”

    Mother: “Yes, I called earlier today about a hoodie y’all sell. I was told you had several.”

    Me: “Sure, I can help you with that. Which hoodie was it?”

    (The mother produces a picture of the hoodie from our website. I recognize it as a style that we have not had for a few days, due to the style’s popularity.)

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. We haven’t had those in for almost a week. The few we did have sold out between yesterday and today. I can order one online for you, though, and you’ll get free shipping right to your house.”

    Mother: “This is unacceptable! I called at nine this morning, and the girl told me you had a bunch!”

    Me: “Are you sure you called today, ma’am? We don’t open until 11, and nobody was here before 10.”

    Mother: “Well, maybe it was 11. I don’t know. But you still should have saved one for me!”

    Me: “Did you put one on hold? If so it’s still in our closet.”

    Mother: “I don’t know.” *speaking to daughter* “Did you put one on hold?”

    Daughter: “Yeah, it should be under Kelly.”

    (I check the closet. The hoodie is definitely not there.)

    Me: “That’s weird. It should be here.” *to mother* “And you called today, you said?”

    Mother: “Well, no. It was my daughter who called.”

    Me: *to daughter* “And you called today?”

    Daughter: “No, I called Thursday. Maybe, Wednesday. No… I think it must have been Monday. Yeah, Monday.”

    Me: “So, you called on Monday? And you put a hoodie on hold? Did they tell you that we only hold merchandise for 24 hours?”

    Daughter: “Um, idk, maybe?”

    (Yes, she really said ‘idk.’)

    Mother: “It shouldn’t matter when she called! You should have held it for her!”

    Me: “Well, unfortunately, we don’t have the space to hold product for that long, especially over a weekend. Plus, it’s not really fair to other customers. But, like I said, I can always look online and see if we can get one shipped to you.”

    Mother: “No! Go into your back room and find one.”

    Me: “I’m really sorry, but we don’t have any more in the stock room; I’ve checked several times today for other customers. I can check again, if you’d like, but you’re going to be disappointed.”

    Mother: “GET ME YOUR MANAGER! I’M GOING TO GET YOUR A** FIRED!”

    Me: *losing all patience* “Sure, but I’m going to have to ask you to please watch your tone and language.”

    Mother: “You little b****! How DARE you speak to me like this? First you sell my daughter’s hoodie to some tramp, I’m sure, and then you refuse to do anything about it. MANAGER! NOW!”

    (I radio to the back for my manager.)

    Me: “She’ll be out in just a minute. Again, I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”

    Mother: “I bet you are! I drove an hour to come to this store just for this hoodie because you lied to my daughter and told her you had a product you clearly don’t have! This is incorrigible.”

    Me: “What’s incorrigible is your attitude right now. I’m very sorry about all this, but your daughter did call our store nearly a week ago about a product. Of course our inventory is going to change between Monday, when we get all our shipment in, and Sunday just before close. If the hoodie was that important, perhaps you should have come out sooner. I can only apologize so many times for something that is outside of my control. Additionally, we are now closed, and have been for several minutes. However, I would still be willing to call another store or order this hoodie online. Alternatively, you could leave and come back at another time, and perhaps we’ll have some in then.”

    Mother: “Well, I never! All right, here’s what I want you to do. I’m going to give you my number, and you are going to call me when you get more of these hoodies in. Then, you are going to send me one to my house free of charge. Do you understand me?”

    (My manager comes around the corner with a look on her face that clearly indicates she had been listening.)

    Manager: “Of course, ma’am. Let me take down your name and number, and I will be sure to talk with my associate about all this.”

    (The woman smugly gives my manager her info, then she and the daughter leave. I wait by the registers while my manager pulls and locks our gates.)

    Me: “Am I fired?”

    Manager: *crumples up paper with the customers info* “Like h*** I’m catering to that b****.”


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