November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Family & Kids

Nut A Good Idea

, | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I’m working the register at a sandwich shop.)

Customer: *completely earnest* “I have a question about your cookies. I see here there are some labeled “White Chip Macadamia Nut.” Does that mean there are white chocolate chips and macadamia nuts?”

Me: “I… uh… yes.”

Customer: “So then I can’t give them to my son with a nut allergy, right?”

Me: “That would be a bad idea, yes.”

Customer: “All right, let me have one of those for me and one chocolate chip for my son.”

Me: “I don’t think that would be a good idea, ma’am.”

Customer: *getting irritated* “Well, why not? Do the chocolate chip cookies have nuts in them?”

Me: “Well, no, but they do come into contact with nuts in several places. Like when we’re baking them, or when we use the same tongs to grab them. Or the display case in front of you where the chocolate chip cookies are touching the macadamia nut cookies…”

Customer: “Fine, then, I won’t get him any cookies. Just give me my sandwiches and two small drinks.”

Me: “Uh… I’m afraid I can’t do that either.”

Customer: “Why the h*** not? I paid you didn’t I?!”

Me: “Um… you haven’t ordered a sandwich yet.”

(Luckily my manager came back from break and we were able to sort everything out before it escalated.)

Cheerily Getting Her Way

, | Australia | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(A man comes shopping with his adorable five year old daughter, and this happens as I’m serving him. Note: For those who don’t know, “cheerios” is a common name for cocktail frankfurts, which kids love.)

Customer: “I’ll have 250g of that ham, please.”

(The whole time I’m weighing and wrapping, his daughter is trying to get his attention.)

Daughter: “Daaad. Dad. Cheerios, dad. Daaaaad…”

Me: *hands over item* “Anything else?”

Daughter: “Cheerios?”

Customer: *smiling but still ignoring her* “Also a half kilo of chicken thighs.”

Daughter: *hands on hips, looking at her father, but it was clear that she wanted me to hear her words* “Daddy, did you say CHEERIOS?”

Me: *as I weigh and wrap* “She has the most adorable little attitude. Anything else?”

Customer: “And a half kilo of cheerios… I’m going to have to watch out for her when she’s older, she’s too cute to say no to!”

Me: “I think she knows it, too!”

(The girl took the cheerios from me with a smug grin.)

Lying Is All Relative(s), Part 3

| PA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

(I’m in high school, and work at my father’s pharmacy during the summer. One day a woman who looks to be in her mid-twenties rushes up to my line, cutting several people. She dumps multiple boxes of prescription medication on the counter, as well as about $50 worth of make-up, hair dye, and jewelry.)

Customer: “I’m the owner’s daughter, so I get all this stuff for free, okay?”

Me: “Ma’am, please get to the back of the line.”

Customer: “For the love of God, just ring me up! I’m the owner’s daughter! I don’t have time to wait!”

Me: “You’re the owner’s daughter?”

Customer: “Yes! What are you, f****** deaf? Just f****** ring my stuff up so it won’t set off the alarm!”

Me: “Wow, that’s such a coincidence.”

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: *smiling widely*I’m the owner’s daughter, too!”

(The customer stared at me for a second, then turned beet red and ran out of the store, leaving her items on the counter. She hasn’t been back since!)

Lying Is All Relative(s), Part 2
Lying Is All Relative(s)

Gunning For A Date

| CA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

(I am female and have a love for outdoor activities. It is a few days away from Mother’s Day. I am walking a couple to their table and am chatting with them.)

Me: “So, do you have any fun plans for the weekend?”

Husband: “Yeah, I will be taking my wife fishing for her Mother’s Day present.”

Me: *excitedly* “Oh, really? That’s so cool!”

(The wife starts shaking her head.)

Husband: “Oh, I was just kidding. She doesn’t fish.”

Me: “Oh, well. you never know. For example, there may be women like me. If I had a significant other want to take me hunting for Mother’s Day, I would totally want to go. I figured that was the case.”

Husband: “You know, I have a son who is single and he LOVES to go hunting and shooting.”

Wife: “No, he doesn’t. What are you talking about?”

Husband: “No, he loves hunting.”

Wife: “He doesn’t even like guns!”

Husband: “Well, he will!”

Me: “…”

Giving Them A Minor Earful

| IL, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I work in an alternative store that sells body jewelry and such. My earlobes are stretched to about the size of a nickel. A woman and her daughter come in to the store.)

Daughter: “Mom, I want to stretch my earlobes like that girl.”

Mom: “Absolutely not! Those look disgusting. You’re not ruining your body like her.”

Me: *standing five feet away* “Well, one pro to ear stretching is that it does not affect your hearing at all… Just so you know.”

Mom: *to daughter* “Well, maybe you can have really small ones.”