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    Category: Family & Kids

    Doctor’s Disorders

    | ID, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    Me: “Thank you for calling pediatrics, how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, yeah, I saw my doctor today and she recommended I use lotrimin on my daughter’s yeast infection diaper rash but I’m at the store and the bottle says not to use on children under two except under the advice of a doctor. So I’m not sure what to do now…”

    A Cold Assumption

    | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, School

    (It has been a very harsh winter. I am washing dishes as well as collecting money at the drive through window, so I am constantly shivering due to my arms and hands being wet. This customer pulls up to the window with her daughter.)

    Customer: “It must be really cold like that!”

    Me: “It’s not too bad.”

    Customer: *turns to her daughter* “Honey, this is why you MUST get good grades in school, so you don’t end up living a horrible life like her!”

    (I am shocked and offended by what the customer has said to her daughter about me, right in front of me.)

    Me: “You mean going to [Well-known Private University] and working to pay for tuition?”

    Customer’s Daughter: *to her mom* “Didn’t Dad graduate from [Well-known Private University]?”

    (The customer drove off once she paid, looking very sheepish. Her daughter now attends the same university as I do, but works in the cafeteria to pay for her tuition.)

    It’s Hard (Liquor) To Feed Family

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (A man comes into our store to steal. My coworker confronts him.)

    Coworker: “Sir, you’re going to have to put that back.”

    Customer: “I don’t have anything.”

    Coworker: “I saw you put that bottle of brandy in your jacket.”

    Customer: *puts bottle back* “You don’t understand. I need to feed my kids.”

    Coworker: “…with brandy?”

    Needs More Data On Data

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Technology

    Caller: “Why is my mobile bill $900?”

    Me: “By the looks of it you’ve gone over your data by about 15GB.”

    Caller: “HOW WOULD THAT HAPPEN? I DON’T USE THE INTERNET!”

    Me: “Do you use any apps on your phone?”

    Caller: “I let my son watch YouTube so he’s quiet.”

    Me: “You do realise YouTube uses data?”

    Caller: “No one told me that! I don’t want to pay for this bill!”

    Dora Hasn’t Explored That Yet

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Movies & TV, Rude & Risque

    (I’m bagging a customer’s purchases when a woman and a little girl in a Dora the Explorer shirt walk by.)

    Me: “Do you know how Dora the Explorer got her name?”

    Customer: *suddenly horrified* “Uh… no…”

    Me: “Because the Spanish word for ‘explorer’ is ‘exploradora.'”

    Customer: “Oh, thank God. I thought you were going to say she was named after a porn star or something.”

    Me: “…”

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