November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Family & Kids

Understood The Concept Swimmingly

| MI, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Health & Body

(We are at the fabric store waiting to have yardage cut. There are two people working the cutting counter, one is a trans-female. My seven-year-old son is with me.)

Son: “Mom! That lady is a MAN!”

Me: *dying inside* “Oh, my gosh; I am so sorry, ma’am. He… I… I am just so sorry!”

Employee: *to my son* “It’s okay, buddy. I was born a boy, but now I am a girl.”

Son: “You can do that?! Mom! I’m gonna be a shark!”

(Thank you so much, fabric store lady, for not being too offended!)

‘Surprise’-ingly Good Parenting

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids

(Our store is known for our “surprise bags”, where, for a few bucks, you get six randomly chosen accessories that are gathered from the old stock sent back to corporate. To keep the element of surprise, the bags are colored blue and not very opaque, which means that a lot of curious customers will tear open the bags to see what’s inside. I come around the corner and I see a young girl pull a long thin hair clip out of the bag where it had been against the plastic and uses it to try to wedge the bag open. If they’re really young kids, we usually just tell them that they can’t do that and deal with the bag, but this girl looks to be about ten and should know better.)

Me: “Excuse me, you can’t open that.”

Girl: *startled that she had been caught* “I didn’t open it.”

(What I didn’t notice this that at the same time I caught the girl, so did her mother.)

Mother: *to daughter* “What are you doing?!”

Girl: “Nothing.”

Me: “Your daughter was opening one of the surprise bags.”

Girl: “No, I wasn’t!”

Mother: *to me* “Oh, I know. I saw her do it.”

Girl: “I wasn’t opening it!”

Mother: “Then what were you doing?”

Girl: “…”

Me: “Don’t worry about it. Our policy is that we can’t force you to buy it. But, unfortunately I’m going to have to take the bag and put it in our damaged products bins.”

Mother: “Oh, no! She opened it; she’s buying it!”

(The mother grabbed her daughter by the arm and marched her over to the register where she made her daughter use her allowance money to buy the opened surprise bag. Even as they were leaving the store I still heard the daughter insisting that she didn’t open it.)

Bird Brained, Part 11

| USA | Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

(I have just bought four cups of nectar to feed the rainbow lorikeets at the zoo. After finding a somewhat calm place to stand, I make no indication I notice the birds and am soon covered in them. The birds are only going towards the adults and older (quieter) kids. The younger kids start coming over to me trying to get birds to jump onto them and drink out of their cups.)

Kid: “You’ve got so many birds! I want one!”

Me: “Here, just stand next to me and don’t move. They’ll come right over!”

(He stands next to me but squeals every time a bird comes near him and scares it away. Then his mom comes over.)

Mom: “Oh, wow! You have so many birds with you! Can you pass one to my son?”

Me: “I’ll try, but the birds don’t like noise. If he can stand still and quiet they’ll land on him.”

(I try to pass a bird to the kids hand but it jumps back to mine.)

Mom: “Stop hogging all the birds! This is really unfair to the kids!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’ve just been standing here. The birds are coming to me.”

Mom: “So you should be passing them to the kids, then! This is a zoo! This is a place for CHILDREN, not immature adults!”

Me: “You’re being very rude. I’ve already tried passing the birds off but it’s not my fault if they don’t want to sit with them. The zoo is a place for anyone to enjoy, not just kids.”

(She doesn’t respond but starts trying to grab birds off of me or shoo them away. One of them starts squawking and bites her.)

Mom: “Ugh! This zoo is atrocious! How dare they have such untrained, disgusting animals allowed to hurt people!”

(She stormed off to complain to a zookeeper.)

Bird Brained, Part 10
Bird Brained, Part 9
Bird Brained, Part 8

Mother Is Due For A Conversation

| Dhaka, Bangladesh | Family & Kids, Money, Technology

(My mom just hung up on a call center employee about her phone bill.)

Me: “Mom, what’s wrong?”

Mom: “The d*** people at [Phone Service call center] won’t reduce my phone bill!”

Me: “What’s wrong with it?”

Mom: “Look!”

(She hands me the bill, which says that her current bill is BDT 4200, with this month’s charges being 500, and dues being a bit over BDT 3500.)

Mom: “I don’t even talk that much on my phone! All I do is get an Internet package every month and make a few calls! It shouldn’t be this high!”

Me: “Mom, you do see that it says here that you didn’t pay the last few bills fully, so you have dues of over BDT 3500, that is added to your existing bill.”

Mom: “But I didn’t talk that much! It shouldn’t be BDT 4000!”

Me: “Mom, that’s the DUES. Not this month’s bill. This month’s bill is BDT 500.”

Mom: “But I didn’t talk that much!”

Me: “Mom, you didn’t pay fully—”


Me: “So, even though you didn’t pay your bill fully and have dues, you still think your bill should be less? The dues you racked up should just be forgotten?”

Mom: “YES! Is that so hard to understand?”

Securing Their Good Behavior

| Lexington, KY, USA | Family & Kids

(There are two small children of about 10 years old in the store who are being very rowdy. The entire time they’ve been in the store they’ve been screaming, running around, and just being obnoxious. They are being accompanied by, I assume, their mother and grandmother. The grandmother flags me down to ask me a question about an item.)

Grandmother: “Excuse me, sir, can you tell me the price on [Product]? I don’t see a price tag.”

Me: “Oh, looks like one of our sale signs has it covered up. It’s [price].”

Grandmother: “Great! Thank you, sir.”

Me: “You’re welcome, ma’am. Will there be anything else?”

(The grandmother looks at the kids who are still causing a scene. She then looks at me as if to say “Play along with what I’m about to do.”)

Grandmother: “Yes, sir, do you know if that security officer is still here?”

(Both the kids freeze.)

Me: “No, ma’am, I haven’t seen him lately. He might be on the other side of the store right now.”

Grandmother: *to the kids* “You hear that? If you two don’t behave this man is going to tell that security officer on you!”

(The kids look back and forth between me and their grandmother like they’re trying to figure out if we’re joking.)

Me: *pointing to one of the security cameras* “Well, if he’s not on the floor he can still see you through our cameras.”

Mother: “Oh, yeah, there it is right there. See, kids? That officer is watching you!”

(At this point, the little boy immediately calms down but the girl still isn’t sure. Finally, I think the girl’s fear overrides her judgment.)

Girl: *on the verge of tears* “But I don’t wanna go to jail!”

Mother: “Well, you two better start behaving then.”

(The little girl hung her head and went to stand next to their cart. The grandmother mouthed the words “Thank you” to me and they moved along. I didn’t hear a peep from those kids the rest of the time they were in the store. And for the record, no, we don’t have a store security officer.)

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