• A Pain In The Nugget
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  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Category: Family & Kids

    Sticking To Her Expectations

    | USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I work at a chain grocery store. I’d just gotten out of work and went to a gas station to put gas in my car. As I was sliding my card, I suddenly hear yelling from behind me. I turn around to see a little girl, four years old, tops, in a pink dress, bolting across the parking lot, her father hot in pursuit.)

    Girl: “Hi! Are you from the store?”

    Me: “Yep!”

    Girl: *hands on hips* “Do you have something for me?”

    (Our cashiers often give stickers to kids. She must be a regular customer with her parents.)

    Me: “Sorry, hun, I left all my stickers at the [Company]’s store. Next time you come in, ask for [My Name] and I’ll give you a lot of stickers, okay?”

    Girl: “Okay.” *she thinks about this, and then looks up at me* “Why are you not at the [Company]’s store? Don’t you live there?”

    Me: *trying not to laugh* “I just needed to put some gas in this car. Is that okay with you?”

    Girl: *nodding thoughtfully* “Yes, I guess you can do that if you want to.”

    (Her dad finally caught up to her and picked her up and started apologizing profusely, but I just smiled and said she made my day. I told her that she had to listen to her dad from now on and she agreed.)

    French Disconnection, Part 3

    | France | Family & Kids, Language & Words

    (I’m a waitress in a fancy restaurant when four tourists come in: a father, his son, his daughter, and their stepmom. They sit down and are looking over the menu. While French is my primary language I also speak English very well.)

    Daughter: “Oh, dear! I can’t understand this. Can one of you guys help me?”

    Son: “Of course, sis. Here…”

    (He begins translating the whole menu while the dad is also listening in. The stepmom on the other hand looks really bored and annoyed. Finally, the girl has made up her mind.)

    Girl: “Thank you, [Son]. What would I do without you?”

    Stepmom: “I’m quite fluent myself! Here! Let me prove it.”

    (She flags me over with a snap of the fingers, and the four start ordering. To my delight, the four of them, despite the earlier worries, do a great job ordering. Finally, the stepmom hands me the menu and smirks at her stepdaughter.)

    Stepmom: “Listen to this.”

    (She turns and says something. To her surprise, we are all laughing like crazy.)

    Stepmom: “What? Why are you laughing?”

    Me: “Ma’am. You just said ‘my son is a cardboard box.'”

    (The lady hangs her head in shame for the rest of the meal. When it is time to go, the daughter tips me generously.)

    Daughter: “Thank you for putting my stepmom in her place. She took us on this trip to prove she was supreme, but this made the trip amazing!”

    French Disconnection, Part 2
    French Disconnection

    A Pain In The Nugget

    , | Noblesville, IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (My brother works at a fast food place. The weekly supply of food is delivered Monday mornings, so by Sunday nights the store has usually run out of something. This particular week a local school had hosted a major youth baseball competition, so there’s been more business than usual and the school had neglected to inform the nearby restaurants about the event. The store is caught completely unprepared. By Sunday night they are out of chicken nuggets, one of their biggest sellers. My brother, working the front counter, has been telling customers upfront that the restaurant is out of some foods. Most of the customers have been nice about it.)

    Lady: “I want a bacon cheeseburger meal, a large fry, two large drinks, and a ten piece chicken nugget meal.”

    Brother: “I’m sorry, but we are currently out of large drink cups and—”

    Lady: “You’re out of large cups? But that’s the size I always get!”

    Brother: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am, but we do have medium cups. Will that do?”

    Lady: *sighs* “Yeah, I guess.”

    Brother: “We are also out of chicken nuggets. We do still have chicken patties, so if you’d like a chicken sandwich instead we could get that for you.”

    Lady: “Out of chicken nuggets?! How can you be out of chicken nuggets? Don’t you know that everyone loves chicken nuggets? My kids will only eat nuggets, and I’m not leaving here until my kids have nuggets!”

    Brother: “I’m sorry, but we have had more business than expected this week and have run out of nuggets. Would your kids like a hamburger instead?”

    Lady: “No, they would not! They only eat chicken nuggets! I demand you sell me nuggets!”

    Brother: “We are out of nuggets. Maybe they would eat a plain chicken sandwich? If they take off the bun the chicken patty would taste just like the nuggets.”

    Lady: “What part of ‘they only eat nuggets’ do you not understand? Let me speak to a manager! I’ll get my nuggets and you’ll be fired for not giving them to me! Just watch!”

    (My brother fetches the manager, who had just been explaining to someone at the drive-through the same thing my brother’s been explaining to this lady. He is already frustrated and does not want to deal with angry customers.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem here?”

    Lady: “This boy refuses to sell me nuggets! I want him fired for his bad service!”

    Manager: “We don’t have nuggets. Order something else.”

    Lady: “I cannot believe the rudeness here! That’s it; I’m leaving! You just lost a paying customer here! I hope you’re happy!”

    (She stormed out. A minute later two kids about six and eight years old come in.)

    Eight-Year-Old: “Mom said we had to come and get our food Can we get some chicken nuggets, please?”

    Brother: “I’m sorry, but we’re out of nuggets.”

    Eight-Year-Old: “Then can we get plain hamburgers, please?”

    Brother: “Of course. That’ll be $4.00.”

    Eight-Year-Old: “Mom said you and the boss guy were big dummies. You don’t seem like dummies. It’s not your fault you don’t have any nuggets left.”

    Brother: “Your mother also said you only eat chicken nuggets.”

    Six-Year-Old: “I don’t even like nuggets. I wanted a hamburger anyway.”

    (The manager let my brother give the kids each a free ice cream cone for being polite. They thanked my brother and left the restaurant smiling. Hopefully they’ll teach their mother something about manners!)

    Looking For Rated S

    | CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Rude & Risque, Technology

    (I’m working at a well-known video game chain store when two of our regulars – a man and his teenage son – walk into the store. They browse the shelves for a while before coming over to me.)

    Father: *places Call of Duty game on counter* “What is this game rated ‘M’ for?”

    Me: “Violence and language, if I remember correctly. Let me check to make sure.”

    Father: “No sexual content?”

    Me: *checking computer* “No, sir.”

    Father: *to son* “Come on, dude, let’s find another game.”

    Very Grim Job Prospects

    | CT, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

    (I work retail and overhear a mother and child.)

    Child: “Is that a scythe?”

    Me: “Yes, it is.”

    Child: “Mom, can I have it?”

    Mother: “Why?”

    Child: “So I can reap souls.”

    Me: “Wait, what?”

    Child: “I want to be the Grim Reaper by the time I’m 15, and then retire by the age of 30.”

    Me: “She’s joking, right?”

    Mother: “No…”

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