Category: Underaged

Everyone at one time has tried to sneak into a movie or bought a drink they’re too young for. However; when stupid customers make this attempt the results can be both hilarious and pitying. And this is before alcohol has destroyed their brain cell(s)!

Caught On A Hot Tan Roof

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Liars & Scammers, Underaged

(My friend and I are waiting in line at a night club. A guy in front us presents his ID, but the bouncer isn’t buying it.)

Bouncer: “You can’t use this. It’s not a valid piece of ID.”

Guy: “Why not? It has my information on it.”

Bouncer: “First of all, it’s not government-issued. It looks like an employee ID. Second, do you seriously expect me to believe that this WHITE guy is you?”

(The photo on the ID clearly doesn’t match the guy, who is of Southeast Asian descent and is darker than the person in the photo.)

Guy: “Uhh… I’m a roofer. You gotta believe me, man! That’s me in the photo.”

Bouncer: “It’s almost October and we’re in Canada. That’s one h*** of a roofer’s tan you got there!”

Guy: “****!” *leaves the club*

Pleased To Fake Your Acquaintance

| Kansas, USA | Liars & Scammers, Top, Underaged

(I am working the overnight shift at a gas station when a young woman approaches and asks for a pack of cigarettes. She looks a bit young, so I ask for an ID. I glance at it and see that she is indeed old enough, but there is something just a bit off about the ID. We’re instructed to verify some information when we’re not sure if an ID is real or not.)

Me: “Okay, what’s your date of birth?”

Customer: *correctly states the DOB on the id*

Me: “Good, what street do you live on?”

Customer: “Washington.”

Me: “So far, so good. One last question. What class did we have together our freshman year?”

Customer: “Uh…”

Me: “Nice try. I can’t accept this ID. Say hi to your sister for me, though.”

Even Customers Fall Short

, | Kansas City, Missouri, USA | Family & Kids, Underaged

(I am in a local dollar store/pharmacy. This happened to me when I as ten years old. An elderly looking woman comes up.)

Customer: “Do you work here?”

Me: “Me?”

Customer: “Yes, you.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m still in grade school.”

Customer: *mumbling while walking away* “Lazy employees. Always coming up with excuses!”

A Bad Run For Their Money

| Minnesota, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Top, Underaged, Wild & Unruly

(My coworker is serving a group of five teenaged guys. All are very loud, obnoxious, and annoying. They don’t order a lot of food, and finally get up to leave. I am putting in an order then this happens…)

Coworker: *to me* “THEY ARE RUNNING! THEY ARE RUNNING!”

Me: “Did you get the license plate number?!”

Coworker: “Yeah, right after the last guy paid, I noticed there was still one seat open with just a short stack of pancakes. I asked the guy’s friend if his friend was coming back to pay. He turned beet red, said “Yeah,” and that he would go get him. The car already was backed up and waiting when he walked out the door so I went to get the plate numbers quick.”

Me: “Okay, give me the numbers. I’ll call it in.”

(I call the police and give them the license plate and description of the car. About five minutes later, an officer shows up and gets a description of the guy who walked out on his bill. He says they may have the kids, and he will get the money for us. Ten minutes later, the officer shows up again.)

Officer: “Here is the money for the bill. His friends had to pay for it so he wouldn’t get a ticket.”

Me: “I was hoping you would have brought him up here to face his crime.”

Officer: “Normally, that is what I would do. However, when we pulled them over for not paying the bill, we noticed the smell of alcohol. They are currently getting minors for underage drinking.”

(In Minnesota, the fine for underaged drinking is $200. In the end, four of them were under age and drinking and got tickets for it. The bill he walked out on was only $4.55!)

March Monthly Roundup: Booze, Beaus, Bongs, Bigots, & Bindings

, , , , | Not Always Right | Bigotry, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Roundups, Rude & Risque, Underaged

In addition to our weekly roundups, each month we’ll be sharing our most popular reader-voted stories.

March Monthly Roundup: This month, we share five stories that show that customers can be bad, but at least they’re not boring!

  1. She Fought The Law, And The Law Won, Part 2:
    Think you’re going to buy booze for your underaged, 16-year-old daughter? Not on this liquor store employee’s watch!
  2. When Press Comes To Shove:
    A blustery customer counts on berating an employee to get his way; what he didn’t count on: the employee’s 6’5″, 250-lb. fiance waiting in the back.
  3. The Height Of (Mt.) Misogyny:
    Misogynists really should go jump off a cliff, but this sexist customer probably couldn’t make it to the top anyway.
  4. Weeding Out The Dumb Ones, Part 2:
    Either this guy’s in the wrong shop, or those are the LARGEST. BONGS. EVER.
  5. So Good She Doesn’t Need A Weapon:
    A little girl learns that although diamonds are forever, mommy’s handcuffs are for her eyes only.
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