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    Category: Underaged

    Everyone at one time has tried to sneak into a movie or bought a drink they’re too young for. However; when stupid customers make this attempt the results can be both hilarious and pitying. And this is before alcohol has destroyed their brain cell(s)!

    March Monthly Roundup: Booze, Beaus, Bongs, Bigots, & Bindings

    , , , , | Not Always Right | Bigotry, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Roundups, Rude & Risque, Underaged

    In addition to our weekly roundups, each month we’ll be sharing our most popular reader-voted stories.

    March Monthly Roundup: This month, we share five stories that show that customers can be bad, but at least they’re not boring!

    1. She Fought The Law, And The Law Won, Part 2:
      Think you’re going to buy booze for your underaged, 16-year-old daughter? Not on this liquor store employee’s watch!
    2. When Press Comes To Shove:
      A blustery customer counts on berating an employee to get his way; what he didn’t count on: the employee’s 6’5″, 250-lb. fiance waiting in the back.
    3. The Height Of (Mt.) Misogyny:
      Misogynists really should go jump off a cliff, but this sexist customer probably couldn’t make it to the top anyway.
    4. Weeding Out The Dumb Ones, Part 2:
      Either this guy’s in the wrong shop, or those are the LARGEST. BONGS. EVER.
    5. So Good She Doesn’t Need A Weapon:
      A little girl learns that although diamonds are forever, mommy’s handcuffs are for her eyes only.

    From Wrong To Wronger

    | Mason, OH, USA | Family & Kids, Underaged

    (I’m working a game when an older man approaches me with his kid. Please note that I am 15 years old.)

    Guest: “Hey, so it’s my son’s 15th birthday and I really need your help to give him his birthday spankings.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

    Guest: “No, really, I need your help to give him his birthday spankings. I’ll hold him, you spank him!”

    Me: “Sir, I’m not going to do that. That’s guest assault!”

    Guest: “Oh, c’mon! No it’s not! Look, will you marry me? Will you have my kids?”

    Me: “Sir, I’m 15 too!”

    Guest: “Oh.” *takes off at a very fast pace*

    She Fought The Law, And The Law Won, Part 2

    | Brisbane, Australia | Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Top, Underaged

    (I work in a well-known alcohol retailer. There are a number of signs that state in large, bold print that it is illegal to purchase alcohol for minors all over the store. Also, for our store there is no “the customer is always right” rule when dealing with alcohol: the law takes precedence. Anyway, I’m preparing to close the store when a woman rushes in).

    Customer: “Thank f*** you’re still open! I need a present for my daughter’s 16th birthday. She loves bourbon. What do you recommend?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, did you just say “16th” birthday? Ma’am, I’m very sorry, but it is illegal to purchase alcohol for minors. I cannot serve you, and I’m going to have to ask you to leave the store.”

    Customer: “What the f*** are you talking about? She’s my daughter. I can buy her booze if I want to!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid not. As these signs quite clearly state, it is illegal to purchase or supply alcohol to a minor. This does not make a distinction as to whether you’re a parent or not. Truth be told, as a parent, you should know better.”

    Customer: “She’s my f***ing daughter and I’ll buy her f***ing alcohol if I f***ing want to! Now shut the f*** up and do your job!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am doing my job. Obeying the law is a very big part of my job, as [corporation name] takes a very dim view of staff members who breach the responsible service of alcohol laws. Now please leave my store.”

    Customer: “F*** YOU THEN! I’m not buying the booze for her. I’m buying it for me! Now f*** you and sell it to me!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am…you’ve already told me it’s for her. I’m not selling you anything. What you’re asking me, a complete stranger, to do is break a Federal Law and put myself at risk of over $90,000 in fines, the loss of my job and never being able to work anywhere that sells alcohol again. I’m not willing to do that for my family, so why would I do that for a rude customer?”

    Customer: “Who the f*** do you think you are to say no to me? Do you know who I am?!”

    Me: “Someone who has absolutely no care for the law, her children or their well-being, and had better get the f*** out of my store right now before I physically throw you out and call the police?”

    Customer: *shuts up and flees*

    Related:
    He Fought The Law, And The Law Won
    She Fought The Law, And The Law Won

    Where There’s Smoke, There’s A Liar

    | Sacramento , CA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Underaged

    (Keep in mind I work in a yogurt shop and we only sell yogurt and candy. An obviously underage customer comes up to be rung up.)

    Me: “Is that going to be it for you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, can I get a pack of cigarettes too?”

    Me: “This is a yogurt shop, sir.”

    Customer: “I have my ID though!”

    Me: “This is a yogurt shop. Not only do we not sell cigarettes, but I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to accept a fake ID.”

    Customer: *storms out muttering obscenities*

    Did I Steal That Out Loud

    | Bethesda, Maryland, USA | Underaged

    (Two boys around the age of 15 walk in without an adult. They order food that the average teenager cannot pay for. After they’re done eating, I come with the bill.)

    Me: “Here is the bill.”

    (They look at it. The total is about $107.)

    Boy: “That’s a lot of cash. Let’s run!”

    Me: “You better not, sir.”

    Boy: “How’d you hear us? We were using telepathy!”


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