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    Category: Underaged

    Everyone at one time has tried to sneak into a movie or bought a drink they’re too young for. However; when stupid customers make this attempt the results can be both hilarious and pitying. And this is before alcohol has destroyed their brain cell(s)!

    Their Purchasing Power Has Gone Up In Smoke

    | Emporia, KS, USA | Top, Underaged

    (I work in a convenience store across the street from a university. A car load of four kids pull up to the store.)

    Customer #1: “I want a pack of cigarettes.”

    Me: “Can I see your ID, please?”

    Customer #1: *angry* “I’m 18, I don’t need to show you my f***ing ID.”

    Me: “Sir, if you don’t obviously look old enough, I have to ask.”

    Customer #1: “I don’t have my ID!”

    Customer #2: “It’s okay, dude. I’ll buy them for you.”

    Me: “No, you won’t, sir. Since I know you are buying for him, and he doesn’t have ID, I can’t sell to you.”

    Customer #2: “Bulls***! Give me the f***ing smokes!”

    Me: “Sorry, no.”

    Customer #3: “Fine, I have my ID. I’ll buy for everyone.”

    Me: “Now I can’t sell to you, sir.”

    (An argument ensues at which point, I keep telling them that if I know that I am selling to someone who is buying for a person who doesn’t have his ID, I cannot by law sell them cigarettes. Finally all four leave, get into their car and move their car to the parking place on the side of the building. The fourth customer gets out, comes up to the counter and asks for four packs of cigarettes. Now, I know he is buying for his friends, but if he doesn’t admit this, I can sell him the smokes without any problems.)

    Me: “Are you buying for the customers that were just in here?”

    Customer #4: “Yes.”

    Me: “I can’t sell to you either. Have a good night.”

    (About an hour later, the police show up at the store. They inform me that they received an anonymous call claiming I was handing out baggies of white powder.)

    Being Ageless Gets Old

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Spouses & Partners, Top, Underaged

    (A customer comes to my till with a video game. This particular game is for ages 17 and up, but the customer looks no older than 14 or 15.)

    Me: “Sir, this game is rated M. Are you over 17 years of age?”

    Customer: *sighs* “Alright, hang on. I’ll be back in a minute.”

    (The customer leaves the store. Later, he comes back with an older woman, who I assume is his mother.)

    Woman: “Honey, which game is it that you wanted?”

    Customer: “This one.”

    (The customer comes back to my till once more, holding the game he was trying to purchase, with the older woman in tow.)

    Me: “Ma’am, just so you know, this game is rated M, so it’s normally meant for people ages 17 and up.”

    Woman: “Oh, that won’t be a problem.”

    Me: “Just to double-check with you, ma’am, this game’s contents can be pretty violent, so it may not be appropriate for your son.”

    Woman: *chuckles* “Oh, he’s not my son.”

    Me: “I apologize. But once again, it might not be appropriate for your…nephew? Little brother? Cousin?”

    Woman: “He’s none of those, silly! He’s my husband!”

    Me: “Whaaaaaaaa?”

    (The customer then pulls out his driver’s license, which I carefully examine. According to his date of birth, he’s 33 years old.)

    Me: “Okay, so you had ID. Why didn’t you just show me that?”

    Customer: “Look at how short and baby-faced I am! If I showed you my ID from the beginning, you would probably think it was fake!”

    Me: “Fair enough, you got me there. I mean no disrespect by this, but I did think you were about 14.”

    Customer: “Yeah, looking like this is both a blessing and a curse. I even quit drinking because it’s too much of a hassle to buy beer!”

    (The customer pays for his game and leaves, while his wife is tries to stifle her laughter.)

    Rated I For Immature, Part 2

    | Victoria, BC, Canada | Family & Kids, Underaged

    (A friend and I are working a late shift at a popular video game store. Two kids come in and pick up a copy of Halo 3. This happens to be a mature-rated game (18+), and these kids are obviously far short of that.)

    Kid #1: “I’ll take this.”

    Coworker: “Sorry, you need to be over 18 to buy that. This is a mature-rated game.”

    Kid #2: “YOUR MOM IS A MATURE RATED GAME!”

    Coworker: “Get out!”

    (The kids swear at us as they leave. The two of us look at each other.)

    Me: “What the h*** just happened?!”

    Related:
    Rated I For Immature

    Of Big Mouths And Even Bigger Customers

    | Waynesboro, PA, USAWaynesboro, PA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Top, Underaged

    (At the gas station where I work, a bunch of young, smart-mouthed customers are holding up the line, talking about how f***ed up they’re going to get that night. I call several times but they’re too busy goofing off to notice. Eventually, a large, 6’6″ and ripped middle-aged gentleman who is also waiting taps one of the young customers on his shoulder. The young customer almost mouths off to the large gentleman, but thinks better of it and turns to me.)

    Young Customer: “Hey, can I get a pack of cigarettes?”

    Me: “I’m gonna need to see your ID.”

    Young Customer: “I’m gonna need to see YOUR ID!”

    (I immediately pull out my wallet and flip it open so it’s showing my ID.)

    Me: “Still gonna need to see your ID.”

    Young Customer: “Look, a**hole! I’m old enough to buy alcohol and you will sell me—”

    (At this moment, the large and ripped gentleman who has been patiently waiting behind walks up, pushes the smart-mouthed customer out of the way, and puts his stuff down.)

    Gentleman: “Hey, can I get a pack of cigarettes?’

    Me: “Not a problem, sir.”

    Gentleman: *to the young customer* “THAT’S how easy it is for adults. Maybe you’ll get there someday.”

    Dopey Duplicators Can’t Dupe Us

    | Mississippi, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Underaged

    (Keep in mind that our store keeps records of people who try to trade in or sell defective, illegally copied, or stolen merchandise. One day, a teenage customer comes in with a shoebox filled with about 40 unboxed games for the Nintendo DS.)

    Coworker: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I’d just like to get some cash for these games.”

    Coworker: “Alright, I just need to see some ID…”

    (My coworker does a quick check and finds that this particular customer is known for having sold us defective and illegally copied games.)

    Coworker: “Do all of these games work?”

    Customer: *face turns bright red* “Uhh… y-yeah. Yeah, they… they do.”

    Coworker: “Are you sure?”

    Customer: “Y-yeah.”

    Coworker: “Mind if I test this one out?”

    (My coworker proceeds to pull out his Nintendo DS. By now, the customer knows he’s been caught and begins shaking.)

    Customer: “Y-you know what, never mind. I’m f-f***ing outta here!”

    (He left his entire box of games on the counter. Most of them didn’t work, and the ones that did work were obviously copied. We never saw the kid again.)

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