Category: Underaged

Everyone at one time has tried to sneak into a movie or bought a drink they’re too young for. However; when stupid customers make this attempt the results can be both hilarious and pitying. And this is before alcohol has destroyed their brain cell(s)!

Grand Theft Innocence, Part 6

| Carlisle, England, UK | Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Technology, Top, Underaged

(I am 21 years old, and a huge ‘Pokémon’ fan. I notice that my receipt for the new Pokémon game is wrong, so I go in to check what happened. At the counter next to me is a middle aged woman buying ‘Grand Theft Auto 5’ for her young son, who is no older than nine. The game is intended for 18-year-olds minimum.)

Me: “Excuse me; the deposit for the new Pokémon is £5, but I’ve been charged twice for it.”

Employee: “Oh, sorry, let me have a look.”

(I hand him the receipt, while the woman stares at me.)

Woman: “You’re a little old to be playing Pokémon aren’t you?”

Me: “And your son’s a little young to be playing Grand Theft Auto isn’t he?”

(The employees can’t help but laugh. The woman goes red faced.)

Woman: “That’s completely different.”

Me: “Yeah, I’m getting a game intended for kids and your kid is getting a game intended for adults.”

Woman: “Well he knows full well not to repeat anything they do in those games; he is a smart boy. Who do you think you are to judge me anyway?”

Me: “Lady… as far as I’m concerned, if my game purchases are your business then your game purchases are my business.”

Woman: “Well I just hope my boy is smart enough to know when it is time to grow up.”

Boy: “Yeah, f*** you!”

(The employees and I burst out laughing as the mother throws the game onto the counter and drags her son out of the shop with him screaming at her that he wants his ‘f****** game.’)

Related:
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 5
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 4
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 3
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 2
Grand Theft Innocence

Trouble Brewing, Part 6

| NE, USA | Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month, Underaged

(A group of three customers enter the bar. They are wearing wristbands after attending a local MMA fight. The wristbands are supposed to be only for people of drinking age.)

Customer #1: “Hey, can I get three rum and cokes?”

Me: “Sure, I just need to see everyone’s ID.”

Customer #2: “Aw, s***, I don’t have my ID, man.”

Customer #1: “Well, you shouldn’t have let the cops take your ID!”

Me: “Right, well if you don’t have your ID on you, I can’t serve you.”

Customer #2: “But I got this wrist band at the fights. You can’t have one unless you’re old enough.”

Me: “Yeah, but if I can’t see your ID myself, it doesn’t do me much good.”

Customer #1: “Well, hey is [Other Bartender] here tonight?”

Me: “Nope.”

Customer #1: “What about [Another Bartender]?”

Me: “Nope.”

(They leave. Ten minutes later, Customer #1 comes back with a different couple.)

Customer #1: “Hey, man, I’m gonna level with you…”

Me: “Alright…”

Customer #1: “Okay, that guy I was with before? Yeah, he’s only 20. But I’m totally 22, man.”

Me: “Have you got your ID with you so you can prove it?”

Customer #1: “Um… no.”

Me: “Then I can’t help you.”

Customer #1: “C’mon, you’re really gonna be like that?”

Me: “Uh, yeah.”

Related:
Trouble Brewing, Part 5
Trouble Brewing, Part 4
Trouble Brewing, Part 3
Trouble Brewing, Part 2

No ID, No Idea, Part 14

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month, Underaged

(I am a volunteer bartender at a big music festival. We are required to check everyone’s ID upon ordering a drink. It’s now late into the festival, and customers are already pretty drunk.)

Customer: “Can I get a beer?”

Me: “Yes, can I see some ID?”

Customer: *as he’s pulling out his ID* “Okay, but it’s fake!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s fake. Will you still serve me?”

Me: “Absolutely not!”

Customer: *shoves ID in my face* “Does it look fake!?”

Me: “You just told me your ID is fake. I cannot serve you.”

Customer: “Fine! I’ll go over here!” *moves a foot over to the next bartender’s line*

Me: “I will tell them not to serve you.”

Customer: “Seriously!? WHAT THE H***! I JUST WANT SOME ALCOHOL!”

(At this point the bar manager has witnessed what has transpired.)

Manager: *to customer* “GET THE F*** OUT OF HERE AND DON’T COME BACK, OR I’LL CALL THE COPS!”

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 13
No ID, No Idea, Part 12
No ID, No Idea, Part 11
No ID, No Idea, Part 10
No ID, No Idea, Part 9

Drinking Responsibly

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Underaged

(While perusing the selection of beer at my local grocery store, I cannot help but notice the enormous, brightly-colored signs posted on every available surface which proclaim: “WE CARD EVERYONE”. After choosing what I want, I head for the checkout, being sure to get my ID out along with my credit card.)

Me: “Just this, thanks.”

(The employee looks at me nervously. I’m 29, but look a good bit younger.)

Employee: “Now because this is alcoholic, ma’am, I am going to need to see your ID.”

Me: “Of course, got it right here.”

(The employee blinks in surprise, then smiles enormously and happily rings up my six-pack of hard cider.)

Me: “Do people really give you that hard a time about this? You have huge red and yellow signs EVERYWHERE. Not to mention it’s kind of, you know, the law?”

Employee: “Honey, you have no idea. Thank you for being smart. Here’s your receipt, and I hope you really enjoy that!”

Grand Theft Innocence, Part 4

| Overland Park, KS, USA | Family & Kids, Technology, Underaged

(I am a customer browsing at a local game store, I witness an exchange between a mother and her young son, who appears to be about eight years old. The son is trying to get his mother to buy him a copy of ‘Call of Duty: Black Ops’.)

Son: “Mom, can we get this?”

Mother: “I’m not getting you that game.”

Son: “Pleeeaase?”

Mother: “No, it’s too graphic.”

Son: “It’s only 30 bucks!”

Mother: “Is there violence?”

Employee & I: “Yep.”

Mother: “Is there shooting?”

Employee & I: “Yep.”

Mother: “Is there blood?”

Employee & I: “Yep.”

Mother: “Then I’m not getting it for you.”

Son: “But I want it!”

Mother: “No, because you’re going to go to Uncle and tell him about how I got you Call of Duty: Black Ops, and then I’m going to be in trouble.”

Son: “I can just have Uncle turn the sound off the TV so I won’t hear any bad words.”

Mother: “What does that have to do with anything? Honey, it’s not the bad words I’m worried about, it’s the violence and shooting and blood!”

Son: “I swear I won’t tell Uncle!”

Mother: “No, I’m not getting you that game!”

Son: *sees ‘Grand Theft Auto IV’* “Can we get this?”

Mother: “That doesn’t look like the one we have at the house. Sure, I’ll get that for you…”

Related:
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 3
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 2
Grand Theft Innocence

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