Category: Underaged

Everyone at one time has tried to sneak into a movie or bought a drink they’re too young for. However; when stupid customers make this attempt the results can be both hilarious and pitying. And this is before alcohol has destroyed their brain cell(s)!

Grand Theft Innocence, Part 4

| Overland Park, KS, USA | Family & Kids, Technology, Underaged

(I am a customer browsing at a local game store, I witness an exchange between a mother and her young son, who appears to be about eight years old. The son is trying to get his mother to buy him a copy of ‘Call of Duty: Black Ops’.)

Son: “Mom, can we get this?”

Mother: “I’m not getting you that game.”

Son: “Pleeeaase?”

Mother: “No, it’s too graphic.”

Son: “It’s only 30 bucks!”

Mother: “Is there violence?”

Employee & I: “Yep.”

Mother: “Is there shooting?”

Employee & I: “Yep.”

Mother: “Is there blood?”

Employee & I: “Yep.”

Mother: “Then I’m not getting it for you.”

Son: “But I want it!”

Mother: “No, because you’re going to go to Uncle and tell him about how I got you Call of Duty: Black Ops, and then I’m going to be in trouble.”

Son: “I can just have Uncle turn the sound off the TV so I won’t hear any bad words.”

Mother: “What does that have to do with anything? Honey, it’s not the bad words I’m worried about, it’s the violence and shooting and blood!”

Son: “I swear I won’t tell Uncle!”

Mother: “No, I’m not getting you that game!”

Son: *sees ‘Grand Theft Auto IV’* “Can we get this?”

Mother: “That doesn’t look like the one we have at the house. Sure, I’ll get that for you…”

Related:
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 3
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 2
Grand Theft Innocence

Playstation Meets Playboy

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Rude & Risque, Technology, Underaged

(It is just after the release of the video game ‘Playboy Mansion’. In Australia, there is surprisingly no required age limit for the game; it comes with a recommendation only for 18+. A customer approaches the counter with a small boy beside her. She is carrying a copy of the game.)

Me: “Good morning, just that today is it?”

(I indicate the game, and the customer nods.)

Customer: “Yup!”

Me: “I just have to check that you are purchasing this either for yourself, or someone who is over 18. Though there is no legal requirement to be over 18, I must warn it has graphic content and adult themes.”

Customer: “No, it’s for him, but it’ll be alright. He’s eight, but I’ve said it’s okay.”

Me: “I must warn you this game is entirely inappropriate for someone so young.”

(I detail the contents of the game. However, the customer doesn’t bat an eyelid.)

Customer: “It’s still okay. I’d like to buy it for him.”

(I cannot bring myself to cater to this customer, so the manager sells the game to her instead. The customer is about to leave, and I approach her.)

Me: “If you view the game and you’re unhappy, you can return it to us within 30 days for an exchange.”

(The customer is reasonably pleasant about this but keeps dismissing my concerns. The boy skips off happily with her. Two days later, she returns with the boy in tow again.)

Customer: “I’ve come to return this game; I need to get something better for him. It’s not right for him at all.”

Me: “Sure thing. I had a feeling you wouldn’t be happy with it once you saw the content of the game. Sometimes it’s hard to explain just how graphic some of these games can be.”

Customer: “Nah, the game was fine, but you should have warned us about how much reading he’d have to do. There’s far too much to read, and he’s only eight. His reading’s not that good yet. There really ought to be warning stickers for this sort of thing. Have you got anything easier?”

Mini Golf Vs Beer Pong

| Regina, SK, Canada | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Underaged

(Two ten-year-old boys come up to the counter.)

Boy #1: “Hey, would you give us some beer?”

Me: “No, you guys aren’t old enough.”

Boy #1: “Oh, man, they don’t even have any Captain Morgan beer. That’s the best.”

Boy #2: “Whoa, you know so much about beer!”

Purchasing Blood Wine

| Atlanta, GA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Underaged

(I see two guys who appear to be in their early 20s approach a self-checkout machine with a case of alcohol. One of them appears to have some tissue in his nose. The other is acting nervous. Given the exchange of money between the two, I suspect a third party purchase.)

Me: “Good evening, gentlemen. I’ll just need to see both of your IDs before I approve the sale.”

(The customer with the item in his nose scowls and turns his nose up at me, revealing the dangling string of a tampon.)

Customer: *angrily* “Why do you need to see his ID? I’m buying it.”

Me: “Sir, it’s the law and store policy that I check the IDs of everyone in the party purchasing alcohol.”

Customer: “I guess I’m not buying this then, since he’s under 21!”

(He storms off, leaving alcohol on counter.)

Customer at the next machine: “What the h*** was that? Did he really just try that? And with a tampon in his nose?”

He’s Not Getting Off The Hook(ah)

| OH, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Top, Underaged

(I am an owner of a hookah smoking lounge near a college campus. A group of three underage-looking young people comes in and tries to purchase a smoking session.)

Me: “Okay guys, can I see your IDs?”

Customer #1: “We don’t have IDs. We don’t need ‘em!”

Me: “Sorry, but you don’t look over 40, so I have to ask.”

(Customers #2 and #3 pull out their ID cards, and even though they look young, they’re over 18. I let them complete the purchase, but the other customer still refuses to show ID.)

Customer #1: “I’m with them. I’ll use their ID.”

Me: “I’m sorry, it doesn’t work like that. Since you refuse to show me ID, I have to refuse you service. Your friends may stay, since they showed ID. Have a nice day. Please leave.”

(As I have been processing their order, a rush of customers have come in and I think I see Customer #1 leave. As I take an order to another group, I see Customer #1 sitting with his friends. I walk up to them.)

Me: “I thought I told you to leave.”

Customer #1: “What are you going to do, call the police?”

(I pull out a badge out of my pocket, since I am also a reserve deputy sheriff on my days off.)

Me: “No need, I’m already here. Now stand up. We’re going to the back.”

(I didn’t bother with filing charges on him, but I did call his parents who were very angry. In fact, I found out his father was a city police officer himself!)

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