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    Category: Underaged

    Everyone at one time has tried to sneak into a movie or bought a drink they’re too young for. However; when stupid customers make this attempt the results can be both hilarious and pitying. And this is before alcohol has destroyed their brain cell(s)!

    He’s Not Getting Off The Hook(ah)

    | OH, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Top, Underaged

    (I am an owner of a hookah smoking lounge near a college campus. A group of three underage-looking young people comes in and tries to purchase a smoking session.)

    Me: “Okay guys, can I see your IDs?”

    Customer #1: “We don’t have IDs. We don’t need ‘em!”

    Me: “Sorry, but you don’t look over 40, so I have to ask.”

    (Customers #2 and #3 pull out their ID cards, and even though they look young, they’re over 18. I let them complete the purchase, but the other customer still refuses to show ID.)

    Customer #1: “I’m with them. I’ll use their ID.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, it doesn’t work like that. Since you refuse to show me ID, I have to refuse you service. Your friends may stay, since they showed ID. Have a nice day. Please leave.”

    (As I have been processing their order, a rush of customers have come in and I think I see Customer #1 leave. As I take an order to another group, I see Customer #1 sitting with his friends. I walk up to them.)

    Me: “I thought I told you to leave.”

    Customer #1: “What are you going to do, call the police?”

    (I pull out a badge out of my pocket, since I am also a reserve deputy sheriff on my days off.)

    Me: “No need, I’m already here. Now stand up. We’re going to the back.”

    (I didn’t bother with filing charges on him, but I did call his parents who were very angry. In fact, I found out his father was a city police officer himself!)

    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 2

    | Leicester, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Top, Underaged

    (I’m standing in a fairly short queue when a businessman walks in, pushes straight to the front and starts dictating his order to the 20-something year old cashier.)

    Cashier: “I’m afraid you’re going to have to go to the back of the queue, sir.”

    Business man: “I have an important meeting shortly. You must serve me now!”

    Cashier: “Yeah, the longer you stand there, the later you’re going to be. Back of the queue.”

    Business man: “Do you have any idea who I am?”

    Cashier: “Nope. Now shut up and go to the back of the queue.”

    Business man: “How dare you talk to me like that?! Get me your manager now!”

    (The cashier sighs heavily, walks into the back, comes out with an older woman in tow and nods her towards the businessman, then disappears back into the back.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

    Business man: “That boy was incredibly rude to me! I demand you fire him immediately!”

    Manager: “I’m afraid I don’t have the authority to do that, but if you want I can get the owner for you.”

    Business man: “Bah! Fine, but I expect to be compensated for having to go through all of this trouble!”

    Manager: “I’m sure you can discuss that with him, sir.”

    (She then walks into the back, then comes out again with the now grinning cashier.)

    Cashier: “Yo.”

    Business man: “What’s the meaning of this? I said I wanted to talk to the owner!”

    Cashier: “Like I said, yo.”

    (The businessman silently gapes for a few seconds, then walks out stammering threats about having his head and closing the shop down.)

    Manager: “Why do you always have to involve me?”

    Cashier: “I just love the look on their stupid little faces when they find out I own this joint.”

    (The manager rolls her eyes and walks into back.)

    Cashier: “I love this job. What can I get you?”

    Related:
    Getting Owned By The Owner

    A Smoking Debate

    | IN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Underaged

    (We card everyone who looks under 40 for cigarettes and alcohol. A customer comes up, who looks to be about mid-20s.)

    Me: “Hi ma’am! How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I need a pack of [brand].”

    (I grab the cigarettes, and keep them next to me on the counter.)

    Me: “Alright, I need to see your ID, please.”

    Customer: “What the f***?! Just give me the d*** cigarettes. I’m over 18.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t sell you them without seeing your ID.”

    Customer: “Just give me the cigarettes. I’m in a hurry.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; I can lose my job or worse if I don’t ID you. Please… we can get through this much quicker if you give me your ID.”

    Customer: “F*** you, you b****! I want my cigarettes! I come in here all the time and have never been carded before! I demand to speak your manager!”

    (I call my manager up to the front. He’s not much older than I am, and Hispanic.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “This stupid b****, who probably isn’t even old enough to sell cigarettes, won’t give me mine!”

    Manager: *to me* “What does she mean?”

    Me: “I asked for her ID since she looks under 40, and she refused. So, I tried to tell her—”

    Customer: “You lying b****! You never asked for my ID!”

    Me: “I asked for it several times, ma’am.”

    Customer: “I want my cigarettes for free!”

    Manager: “I can’t do that ma’am, and I’m almost positive she asked for your ID.”

    Customer: “F*** you, you f***ing immigrant! I come in here all the time!”

    (She continues like this for a while. My manager and I are both completely stunned.)

    Manager: “I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer: “You can’t make me!”

    (She starts screaming and shaking the register. Panicked, I call the police. While waiting for them she starts to go around the store knocking things off shelves. As soon as the sirens are in the distance, she runs out of the store. Thankfully after my manager and I deal with the police report, he gave paid vacation time.)

    No ID, No Idea, Part 10

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month, Underaged

    (At the theater, we’re required to double-check the IDs of patrons attending rated R films if they look under 21. If a patron under 21 is not escorted by a guardian OVER 21, they cannot come in. A guest and her boyfriend approach the ticket-taking area.)

    Me: *taking their tickets* “Can I see your IDs, please?”

    (The guest hands me her ID, but I see that she’s only twenty.)

    Guest’s Boyfriend: “I forgot mine.”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, sir. Your girlfriend is under 21, so she doesn’t qualify to be your guardian, and I can’t let you in without an ID stating that you’re at least 17.”

    Guest: “Baby, why didn’t you bring your ID?”

    Guest’s Boyfriend: “It’s not my fault she’s being a b****!”

    Me: “Excuse me? Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Guest’s Boyfriend: “Well, I’m not leaving.”

    Me: *on the radio* “[Security guard], could you come to the front please?”

    Security: “What’s going on?”

    (As I explain the situation, as the guest simply stares at the guard. He’s a very large Hispanic man in a suit.)

    Security: “Did you really call her that?”

    Guest’s Boyfriend: “I, uh…”

    Security: “Leave. Now, buddy.”

    Guest’s Boyfriend: “Man!” *leaves*

    (The guest goes back to the box office to demand a refund. Because he was technically kicked out for misconduct, it wasn’t required for us to give him a refund. My coworker in the box office comes out to speak to me.)

    Coworker: “He’s asking for a refund, but I told him it would be up to you.”

    (I look and see the guest staring irritably down at the box office counter.)

    Me: “He can have his refund, but he can’t come back in tonight.”

    (We never saw him again.)

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea, Part 9

    Better Make It A Double

    | Ipswich, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Top, Underaged

    (I am working in a pub, and my sister, my identical twin, has come in to say hello during a busy period. She has queued, and I have served her an alcoholic drink. I am just handing it over when this conversation starts.)

    Customer: “You didn’t check the ID of this girl. She doesn’t look old enough to drink. I demand you check her ID!”

    Me: “I am sorry, sir, but I can assure you that she is old enough to drink.”

    Customer: “She is only about 12! She is nowhere old enough to drink. I will call the police if you do not check her ID!”

    Me: “Sir, she is old enough to drink. She is my sister, and I can assure you that she is 20 years old.”

    Customer: “If you won’t check her ID, I am going to call the police!”

    (The customer takes his phone out and makes a show of dialing. My sister looks embarrassed, but pays for her drink, shows me her driving license as she does look young, and takes a seat at the bar.)

    Me: “See? My sister is old enough to drink.”

    Customer: “No! You’re breaking the law!” *to everyone around us* “She’s breaking the law!”

    (Hearing the commotion, security comes.)

    Security: “What is the trouble, sir?”

    Customer: “That girl has served a drink to an underage customer! She used a fake ID; I saw her!”

    Security: “Sir, can’t you see the resemblance? The girl serving you is the identical twin of this customer. If she is old enough to serve you drinks, her twin is old enough to drink, too.”

    Customer: *muttering* “Well… she doesn’t look as old as she does!” *leaves*

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