Category: Underaged

Everyone at one time has tried to sneak into a movie or bought a drink they’re too young for. However; when stupid customers make this attempt the results can be both hilarious and pitying. And this is before alcohol has destroyed their brain cell(s)!

Has No License To Be Right

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Underaged

(I work at a local grocery and pharmacy store in my neighborhood in the customer service department. I deal with checks, returns, and things of that nature. A lady walks up to me looking to cash a check.)

Me: “So, you’d like to cash a check for $76? May I see your ID, please?”

Customer: “Absolutely! Here you go.” *I inspect the ID, which expired over seven years ago*

Me: “Miss, I can’t take this ID. It expired on [this date] in ’07. As such, that makes it invalid.”

Customer: “Are you kidding me? This is ridiculous! I cash checks at your sister store down the road all the time with this ID!”

Me: *trying to be as nice as possible* “Well, I can tell you they shouldn’t be doing that either. It’s illegal for me to cash this check with an invalid license. Do you have a valid ID?”

Customer: *searching through her wallet for a newer, legal license* “Here. You need to learn to respect your elders and let the customer be right.”

(I’m 20 and while that is true, I’m not going to break any laws.)

Me: “And while we’re at it, may I ask why you carry around that expired license?”

Customer: “Well, in case I lose my new one, of course!”

(She takes her money and storms out. I turn to a coworker who watched the whole thing.)

Me: “I hope she doesn’t get pulled over and present that. She wouldn’t have a good excuse.”

Rated ‘R You Serious?’

| Ashland, KY, USA | Movies & TV, Underaged

Customer: “I want two tickets to [Movie].”

Me: “The movie is rated R. May I ask how old you are?”

Customer: “17.”

Me: “May I see your ID, please?”

Customer: “Sure!”

(I was happy to get someone not fighting me for once, but then…)

Me: “Umm… no offense but your ID says you’re 15.”

Customer: “Oh, they just printed it wrong.”

Me: “I am sorry but I have to go by the year on the ID and according to this you are 14.”

Customer: “Just sell me the ticket.”

Me: “I am sorry; I can’t. You can pick out another—”

(The customer huffs off. Five minutes later:)

Customer #2: “I need THREE tickets for [R-rated Movie].”

(The customer is slightly older but I see the first person over behind a pole and peeking around.)

Me: “The move is rated R. May I ask how old everyone is?”

Customer #2: “Well I am 19 and she is 18. And I am not sure how old the other person is.”

Me: “May see all the IDs, please?”

(The customer gives me both his and other girl’s ID and they are the right age.)

Me: “May I see the last ID?”

Customer #2: “He didn’t give it to me, but he is right behind that pole. Let me get him really quick.”

(Customer #2 then tries to go over to Customer #1, who promptly runs off.)

Customer #2: “Weird… He gave the money and everything.”

Should Have Called It A Night

| Scotland, UK | Hotels & Lodging, Rude & Risque, Underaged

(I’m 14, working in the kitchen of a local pub/inn. I arrive at work one day and go to sign in, behind the reception desk in the front hall. A customer comes in and assumes I’m working on the front desk.)

Customer: “Hey! How much are rooms?”

Me: “Depending on which rooms are available, anywhere from £35-65 a night—”

Customer: “No, how much for an hour?”

(He winks at me. Being 14, I don’t understand what he’s getting at.)

Me: “Pardon? The rooms are priced for a night—”

Customer: “Yeah, but how much for you and a room for an hour?”

(I am beyond confused at this point when the manager, a stocky guy with a shaved head, tattooed arms and a strong Glaswegian accent appears from the dining room, right behind the guy.)

Manager: “CAN I HELP YOU!?”

(The customer jumped about a foot in the air, saw my manager, and bolted out the door. My manager refused to tell me what the guy was talking about (and I didn’t realise for another couple of years), just told me to run and get him or the chef if I saw the guy again.)

Driving On Booze Control

| Princeton, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Underaged

(I work at a liquor store, and we have one major rule. If you appear to be under 30 you MUST have your ID on you unless you are accompanied by a parent or guardian. If you do not have your ID on you no one in your group is allowed to purchase alcohol. Two guys come into our store together and start making a ruckus. The one guy looks about 23 or so, but the other can’t be 17. They’re yelling up and down the aisles to each other looking for something to purchase. I greet the two of them and start scanning their items. I ask for their IDs.)

Customer #1: “Here you go.”

Me: “Thanks.” *pointing at Customer #2* “I just need to see your ID as well.”

Customer #2: “I don’t got mine.”

Me: “Okay. Is it in the car or something? I need to see both of your IDs because you came in together.”

Customer #2: “Why? I didn’t come in here with him. We met up outside and walked in together.”

Me: “Let me get my manager. He’ll be able to sort this out for you guys.”

(My manager comes over and I explain to him that the one has his ID, but the other guy doesn’t. My manager reiterates the store policy. As this is happening, Customer #2 hands a $5 bill ‘stealthily’ to his buddy.)

Customer #1: “We’re friends from work! We ran into each other inside. Why am I getting denied service because I happened to run into him and happened to get in line with him at the same time.”

Manager: “Well, if that’s the case why did he just hand you money and try to walk out towards the door?

Customer #1: “I had asked to borrow some money! This is b******t!”

Manager: “I’m sorry you feel that way, but that’s the law. For all we know, you’re about to purchase alcohol for a minor, and we could get fined for that.”

Customer #2: “That’s racist! You’re refusing to sell to us because we’re [race]!”

Manager: “No, sir, that’s not why. I just told you why I’m refusing service.”

Customer #2: “Well, if that’s the case why didn’t you card that baby in the other dude’s line over there?”

Manager: “Sir. Think about what you just said. Do you really think that baby is really going to drink anything in that cart?”

Customer #2: “Whatever. I’m calling the cops. You’re going to be arrested for being racist. You racist son of a b****!”

Manager: “Okay. I can wait. I’ll just tell them that your pal just tried to purchase alcohol for a minor.”

(With that they walked out of the store, screaming and ranting, and wound up kicking over one of the basket returns by the exit, never to be seen since.)

Grand Theft Innocence, Part 10

| France | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Technology, Underaged

(I work in a video game store where you can give back old games to get a discount on other ones. It’s a slow day, and a somewhat older female customer comes to the counter.)

Me: “Oh, hello, ma’am. What can we do for you?”

Customer: “Well, I’ve found my son’s old educational games while dusting off shelves, and I’d like to buy him something new.”

(I pass the games to a coworker, so she can check out prices and the disks’ states, while I help the customer with choosing a game.)

Coworker: “Err, ma’am, there’s something wrong with the games.”

Customer: “What?”

(My coworker shows us the disks. It’s actually stuff like ‘GTA,’ ‘Call of Duty,’ ‘Saints Row’ and other 18-rated games.)

Me: “How old is your son, ma’am?”

Customer: “He’s 14… Why?”

Coworker: “Well, those games are not for people under 18. Due to violence, nudi—”

(The customer storms out, leaving the games on the counter. 15 minutes later, she comes back dragging her son by the arm and with the original boxes.)

Customer: *to her son* “These. 18-rated games. Explain.”

(The customer’s son explained that he asked a friend’s older brother to go and buy the games for him. His mother left us the 18-rated games and their boxes.)

Related:
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 9
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 8
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 7

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