Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,232 thumbs up)
  • Category: Underaged

    Everyone at one time has tried to sneak into a movie or bought a drink they’re too young for. However; when stupid customers make this attempt the results can be both hilarious and pitying. And this is before alcohol has destroyed their brain cell(s)!

    Getting Chesty

    | Wyoming, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Underaged

    (I work in a local chain tobacco store. I am in my 40s. A very young looking man comes in my store with a small child.)

    Customer: “Can I get a pack of [Brand] cigarettes?”

    Me: “Can I see your ID?

    Customer: “I left my wallet at home.

    Me: “I’m sorry, but the law requires I ask for a valid picture ID. No ID means no sale.”

    Customer: *testy* “I have a four-year-old kid! I think that proves I am old enough to buy cigs!”

    Me: “Even kids too young to smoke can make a baby.”

    Customer: *literally rips his shirt open* “For Christ’s sake I HAVE CHEST HAIR!”

    Me: “Yup. You have about a dozen of them. Congrats.”

    (The customer takes the child’s hand and storms out, cussing and complaining about me being rude.)

    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 7

    | Derby, England, UK | At The Checkout, Technology, Underaged

    (I have recently started working part time at a locally-run video game store while I’m studying Law at the college. We have just gone over Statutory Instruments in class. A customer who looks about 14 walks in, picks up a copy of GTA 5, and walks to the counter.)

    Customer: “Just this game, mate.”

    Me: “Thats £40. Can I see some ID, please?”

    Customer: “You can just let it slide, right? I mean, what’s the worst that could happen to you? I’m clearly 18 and just forgot my ID.”

    Me: “Actually, selling age restricted goods to a minor is a statutory offence under the Children and Young Persons Act 1933 where the owners of this shop would be liable for prosecution. All that needs to be proved is that you bought the game and we are liable. I would lose my job and this place would more than likely shut down, so that’s the ‘worst that could happen.’”

    Customer: “…So, is that a no?”

    Me: “A large no.”

    Customer: *runs out the door*

    Manager: *to me* “I’m glad we chose you over the other guy!”

    Related:
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 6
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 5
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 4
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 3
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 2
    Grand Theft Innocence

    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 6

    | Carlisle, England, UK | Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Technology, Top, Underaged

    (I am 21 years old, and a huge ‘Pokémon’ fan. I notice that my receipt for the new Pokémon game is wrong, so I go in to check what happened. At the counter next to me is a middle aged woman buying ‘Grand Theft Auto 5′ for her young son, who is no older than nine. The game is intended for 18-year-olds minimum.)

    Me: “Excuse me; the deposit for the new Pokémon is £5, but I’ve been charged twice for it.”

    Employee: “Oh, sorry, let me have a look.”

    (I hand him the receipt, while the woman stares at me.)

    Woman: “You’re a little old to be playing Pokémon aren’t you?”

    Me: “And your son’s a little young to be playing Grand Theft Auto isn’t he?”

    (The employees can’t help but laugh. The woman goes red faced.)

    Woman: “That’s completely different.”

    Me: “Yeah, I’m getting a game intended for kids and your kid is getting a game intended for adults.”

    Woman: “Well he knows full well not to repeat anything they do in those games; he is a smart boy. Who do you think you are to judge me anyway?”

    Me: “Lady… as far as I’m concerned, if my game purchases are your business then your game purchases are my business.”

    Woman: “Well I just hope my boy is smart enough to know when it is time to grow up.”

    Boy: “Yeah, f*** you!”

    (The employees and I burst out laughing as the mother throws the game onto the counter and drags her son out of the shop with him screaming at her that he wants his ‘f****** game.’)

    Related:
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 5
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 4
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 3
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 2
    Grand Theft Innocence

    Trouble Brewing, Part 6

    | NE, USA | Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month, Underaged

    (A group of three customers enter the bar. They are wearing wristbands after attending a local MMA fight. The wristbands are supposed to be only for people of drinking age.)

    Customer #1: “Hey, can I get three rum and cokes?”

    Me: “Sure, I just need to see everyone’s ID.”

    Customer #2: “Aw, s***, I don’t have my ID, man.”

    Customer #1: “Well, you shouldn’t have let the cops take your ID!”

    Me: “Right, well if you don’t have your ID on you, I can’t serve you.”

    Customer #2: “But I got this wrist band at the fights. You can’t have one unless you’re old enough.”

    Me: “Yeah, but if I can’t see your ID myself, it doesn’t do me much good.”

    Customer #1: “Well, hey is [Other Bartender] here tonight?”

    Me: “Nope.”

    Customer #1: “What about [Another Bartender]?”

    Me: “Nope.”

    (They leave. Ten minutes later, Customer #1 comes back with a different couple.)

    Customer #1: “Hey, man, I’m gonna level with you…”

    Me: “Alright…”

    Customer #1: “Okay, that guy I was with before? Yeah, he’s only 20. But I’m totally 22, man.”

    Me: “Have you got your ID with you so you can prove it?”

    Customer #1: “Um… no.”

    Me: “Then I can’t help you.”

    Customer #1: “C’mon, you’re really gonna be like that?”

    Me: “Uh, yeah.”

    Related:
    Trouble Brewing, Part 5
    Trouble Brewing, Part 4
    Trouble Brewing, Part 3
    Trouble Brewing, Part 2

    No ID, No Idea, Part 14

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month, Underaged

    (I am a volunteer bartender at a big music festival. We are required to check everyone’s ID upon ordering a drink. It’s now late into the festival, and customers are already pretty drunk.)

    Customer: “Can I get a beer?”

    Me: “Yes, can I see some ID?”

    Customer: *as he’s pulling out his ID* “Okay, but it’s fake!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Yeah, it’s fake. Will you still serve me?”

    Me: “Absolutely not!”

    Customer: *shoves ID in my face* “Does it look fake!?”

    Me: “You just told me your ID is fake. I cannot serve you.”

    Customer: “Fine! I’ll go over here!” *moves a foot over to the next bartender’s line*

    Me: “I will tell them not to serve you.”

    Customer: “Seriously!? WHAT THE H***! I JUST WANT SOME ALCOHOL!”

    (At this point the bar manager has witnessed what has transpired.)

    Manager: *to customer* “GET THE F*** OUT OF HERE AND DON’T COME BACK, OR I’LL CALL THE COPS!”

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea, Part 13
    No ID, No Idea, Part 12
    No ID, No Idea, Part 11
    No ID, No Idea, Part 10
    No ID, No Idea, Part 9

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