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    Category: Criminal/Illegal

    A Major Minor Mishap

    , | Wales, UK | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (I am 15 years old, and I work in my cousin’s burger van or cafe during the school breaks. Often I will be in the kiosk late at night when all the clubs close while my cousin is still working. One night a group of guys in their 30s comes up, slightly drunk, and ordered a bunch of food.)

    Customer #1: “You having fun tonight?”

    Me: “Uh, yeah. Sure.”

    Customer #2: “Oh, god, leave her alone, dude!”

    Me: *laughs nervously*

    Customer #1: “Oh, come on… Hey, you see that sausage on the hotplate?”

    Me: “Uh, yeah?”

    Customer #1: “I could give you double the sausage on that hotplate if you come back with me.”

    Me: “Oh, is that so?”

    Customer #1: “Oh yeah, totally.”

    (I laugh and let him carry on, his friends just laughing at him.)

    Me: “So, I’m curious. Do you always talk to minors like that?”

    Customer #1: “What?!”

    Me: “Well, I’m 15.”

    (Customer #1 runs off in a hurry without his order, red faced.)

    Customer #2: “Well, he won’t live that down any time soon!”

    EBT For HBO

    | CT, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Money, Movies & TV

    (A customer has called to make a payment with a credit card.)

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, your bill total is [amount]. What credit card will you be using today?”

    Caller: “My credit card number is…”

    (The caller starts reading off a credit card number that starts with the number 5, which is a Mastercard, but I notice that what she is reading is over 16 digits long.)

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but the credit card number you gave me is too long. Is it a Master Card?”

    Customer: “No, it’s EBT.”

    Lawless And Clueless

    | FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Transportation

    (I work as a receptionist at a retirement home.)

    Resident #1: “I want you to call the police right away.”

    Me: “Um. May I ask why?”

    Resident #1: “I called for a taxi and it still isn’t here. I want the police to arrest the driver.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry about your wait but I don’t think the police should be involved with something like that.”

    Resident #1: “I don’t care. I’m a very important person. I have connections. Call the police.”

    Me: “Why don’t I call the taxi company to see where it is? I mean, it’s not like the driver can break traffic laws just to pick you up.”

    Resident #1: “I am above the law. With one word I can get this whole company shut down. I can—”

    Resident #2: *slowly walks up to desk with walker* “Is that your taxi outside?”

    Resident #1: “Ah, yes. Goodbye.”

    Resident #2: *waits until the first resident leaves* “What a b****.”

    Putting The High Into Hiring

    | UK | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

    Customer: *bloodshot eyes and stinking of weed* “Hi. I’m looking for a gardening book.”

    Me: “Okay. Our gardening section is right here. Was there are a particular book you were after?”

    Customer: “I’m wanting one that teaches you how to grow drugs.”

    Bookseller: “Like medicinal herbs? We have a few titles on natural remedies in our health sec—”

    Customer: “Nah, I mean like cannabis.”

    Bookseller: “Er… there are titles on that subject but they are only sold in our Amsterdam stores. I can’t legally sell them in this country.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. You guys hiring?”

    Too Early To Wake Up And Smell The Coffee

    , | VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (I have just gotten off my job, working retail at a clothing store. I stop by a popular, well-known fast food restaurant for dinner. The drive-thru is backed up, and there are several police officers mulling around. Despite this, I’m still hungry, so I go inside and order my food.)

    Me: “So, what’s going on here anyway?”

    Cashier: “This customer won’t move her car away from the pay window in the drive-thru.”

    Me: “Why not?”

    Cashier: “We’re having a promotion where you can get a free coffee during breakfast hours. But it’s 11 pm. She shows up and wants her free coffee, and we tell her it’s only for the mornings, and she refuses to move. So we called the cops. I guess they’ll tow her.”

    Me: “Wow, all that fuss over a free coffee? That’s pretty sad. I understand crazy customers, I work at [Clothing Shop].”

    Cashier: “Honey, until you’ve worked at [Fast Food Place], you ain’t seen s***!”

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