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    Category: Criminal/Illegal

    Vacation Crime

    | ME, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Technology

    (I work for a computer repair shop which gets a lot of work orders from a big company because we’re nearby and are known for how fast we repair units. We also use receipts for orders that are being picked up by others.)

    Customer: “Hey, I’m here to pick up a computer for [Supervisor].”

    Me: “Do you have the repair receipt for their computer?”

    Customer: “No, just use my ID.” *shows me work ID*

    Me: “Unfortunately, sir, I’m not allowed to give you any computer without a receipt due to security reasons.”

    Customer: *suddenly very angry* “Look! I’m an executive at [Big Company]. I can pick up as many computer orders as I want! Just shut up and do your **** job and give me [Supervisor]‘s computer!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. But regardless of who you are, I cannot give you any computer without a receipt.”

    (The door jingle goes off, meaning another customer has come into the shop.)

    Customer: “That’s it! I’m gonna have your a** fired, you incompetent f***! I’ve never been treated so rudely!”

    Me: “Well, I hate to repeat myself but again, we’re not allo—”.”

    (At this point I notice a police officer and security guard from [Big Company] standing behind the man.)

    Customer: *practically yelling at this point* “What?! Not allowed to give me [Supervisor]‘s computer?! Well, I’ll –”

    Police Officer: “Mr. [Customer]. You’re under arrest for attempted robbery.”

    (The customer turns around to see the two men, and makes a break for the door only to be tackled in seconds and taken away by the police officer.)

    Security Guard: “Can you believe that guy? He quit and threatened to steal [Supervisor]‘s computer all because he didn’t get the vacation time he wanted.”

    Don’t Do The Crime If You Can’t Tell The Time

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Money

    (My store has a grocery section, including an aisle of wine and beer. Since, in my state, alcohol cannot be sold before noon on Sundays, during that time the aisle is roped off. A customer comes up to my till at 10 on a Sunday, carrying bottles of wine.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I won’t be able to sell these to you before noon.”

    Customer: “What?! Why?”

    Me: “It’s state law. Alcohol can’t be sold before noon on Sundays.”

    Customer: “But I have to have these for a lunch party! It’s starting soon, and I said I’d bring the wine!”

    Me: “Again, I’m sorry, but I can’t sell these now. It’s illegal and my register will reject it if I try to ring it up.”

    Customer: “Don’t you understand? I NEED THESE. I will look like a FOOL if I show up at the party without any wine.”

    Me: “That’s… not really something I’m able to help with. I can’t break the law for that.”

    Customer: “What law? I just want you to sell me wine!”

    Me: “Texas state law forbids the sale of alcohol before noon on a Sunday. If you’d like, you can come back after noon and buy the wine then.”

    Customer: *suddenly calm* “Fine. I’ll come back later and pay for these then.”

    (She then picks up the bottles and starts walking towards the door with them. I call security.)

    Security: “Ma’am, you can’t take those without having paid for them.”

    Customer: “But she won’t let me pay for them!”

    Security: “Alcohol can’t be sold before noon. That doesn’t mean you get to walk out with it.”

    Customer: “But I was going to come back and pay for it later!”

    One Brick Shy Of A Load

    | USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

    (I work for a firearm retailer. We put out an ad every month stating our monthly sales. It always states ‘while supplies last.’ A ‘brick’ is 500 rounds of ammo. A well dressed older gentleman walks up to counter.)

    Me: “Hello, sir. What can I do for you today?”

    Customer: “I’d like to buy a brick of 22.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We sold out earlier today.”

    (The customer pulls out the ad, slams it on the counter and points to the bricks of 22.)

    Customer: “And then what is this?”

    Me: “It’s an ad for 22, but everything is ‘while supplies last.’”

    Customer: “Do you understand the law of ‘false advertising?’”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Well, [My Name], you will be hearing from my lawyer!” *smirks and briskly walks away*

    Manager: “Third threat of legal action this month; we’re on a roll.”

    (A lawyer actually called the next day and mentioned me specifically. He stated that he was only calling because his client paid him to ‘look into it.’ Nothing, of course, happened.)

    The Price Of Dishonesty

    | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Money

    (Our store is running a sale on certain cereals. I had just finished ringing up a customer who purchased some, and have told her the total.)

    Customer: “Wait, that can’t be right. The cereal is two for $4!”

    (After double checking the register, I look inside the flier.)

    Me: “Oh, sorry. These boxes are 18 ounces, and the sale’s only for the 13 ounce boxes.”

    Customer: “No it isn’t! They’re the same price over there.”

    (The different sizes having the same price was news to me, so I follow her over to the aisle to find that while only one was on sale, both had the same price.)

    Customer: “See? This is just dishonest!”

    Me: “Well… that seems strange, but only the smaller one is on sale.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe you’re doing something this dishonest! I’m reporting this!”

    (She takes out her cell phone and begins taking a picture of the price tags.)

    Me: “Giving them the same price seems weird, but how is it dishonest?”

    Customer: “Because they have the same price! What’s the difference between these two?!”

    Me: *confused* “This one’s five ounces larger, but not on sale?”

    Customer: “Forget it, I don’t want them anymore.”

    (We return to the counter, where a line has started to form.)

    Me: “All right, then. That will be [total].”

    Customer: “That’s still not right! This item is supposed to be a dollar!”

    (She marches back to the shelf and shortly returns.)

    Customer: “Never mind, it was the item next to that one that was on clearance.”

    (I needed manager approval for all the voided items, so I handed her money back while I started handling the other customers. When we later closed the register, we found it was short by the exact amount she owed. Apparently, she made the manager think I’d held on to her money. For how much she talked about dishonesty…)

    Organic Grocery Has A High Price

    | Ann Arbor, MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid

    (I was a senior manager in a small organic grocery store in a college town. I am on my way from my office to the stockroom when I see a young woman staring blankly into our dairy cooler.)

    Me: “Hi. Can I help you find something?”

    Customer: “Oh! Yes! I’m looking for ganja.”

    Me: “…I’m sorry, you’re looking for what?”

    Customer: “Ganja. Do you have any?”

    Me: “Umm, could you possibly mean kombucha?” *a fermented drink kept in that section of the cooler?*

    Customer: “Is it spelled G-A-N-J-A?”

    Me: *convinced there must be some sort of misunderstanding here* “No. No, it is not. How about this, can you tell me what type of product it is? I mean is it a food, or a juice?”

    Customer: “I really don’t know. You see, I sent my friend an email and got one of those automated reply thing that said he was ‘kicking back and consuming vast quantities of ganja’ while he is on vacation in Colorado. He seems to think its really good stuff, and he’s REALLY granola, so I figured he probably gets it here. I think maybe it’s a juice or something.”

    Me: “Ma’am, ganja is a slang term for marijuana.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay, and do you guys sell that here?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I can assure you we do not.”

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