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    Category: Criminal/Illegal

    A Professional Approach To Professional Photography

    | ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

    Customer: “I want to get these photos copied.”

    Me: “Okay, I can copy these, but these ones here I can’t unfortunately, due to company copyright policy.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “This is a professional photo, so I can’t copy it without permission from the photographer.”

    Customer: “Oh, no, you can copy it.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I can’t.”

    Customer: “But one of the people in that picture is dead now!”

    Me: “I’m really sorry about that, but our company’s copyright policy is actually pretty strict; it goes until 50 years after the death of the photographer. I honestly don’t feel comfortable copying professional photos until they are at least 65 years old.”

    Customer: “Well, this photo is 65 years old.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but this picture isn’t that old. I can do these photos for you, though.”

    (I go through the stack of pictures and find some school pictures, which I put aside.)

    Me: “I can’t do these ones, though.”

    Customer: “WHY NOT!”

    Me: “Because these are also professional.”

    Customer: “No! They’re school pictures!”

    Me: “Yes, that would be professional.”

    Customer: “But these people died in 1992!”

    Me: “Um, I’m sorry about that, but that doesn’t mean I can copy the picture.”

    Customer: “YES, IT DOES!”

    Me: “Maybe you didn’t understand me earlier when I said—”

    Customer: “YES, I DID UNDERSTAND YOU!”

    Me: “Then why are you telling me this person died in 1992? That doesn’t change the fact that the photographer has to be dead for 50 years before I can copy it.”

    Customer: “THE PHOTOGRAPHER IS DEAD!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t copy it.”

    Customer: “Then why are you copying this one?” *points to a photo that looks like it was taken with a point and shoot*

    Me: “Because it’s not professional.”

    Customer: “Yes, it is! A photographer took that!”

    Me: “Well, it didn’t look professional to me, but since you’ve told me that it is, I can’t copy it now.”

    Customer: “WHAT?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry.”

    Customer: “NO! YOU CAN COPY IT!”

    Me: “You JUST told me it was professional, after I JUST told you that I couldn’t copy professional photos.”

    Customer: “I want to see a manager, then!”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (My manager proceeded to tell the customer EVERYTHING I had already said, and the customer yelled back at him everything he had yelled at me. He left in a huff.)

    Will Likely Want Something For Three

    | NJ, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids

    (I am a teenage girl. Over the summer and on school breaks, I work part-time as a receptionist in a hair salon run by a family friend in a Jersey Shore resort town. It is a slow Thursday morning in early September when the phone rings. I stop folding towels to answer it.)

    Me: “[Salon], [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “I would like to lodge a formal complaint.”

    (We have no protocols for formal complaints. We are a tiny salon and our clientele are mostly friends of my boss and locals.)

    Me: “All right, how can I help you?”

    Caller: “My son, [Name], was booked for an appointment this morning at 8:30 and the shop wasn’t open yet!”

    (My boss sometimes comes in a little late, but our limited clientele are very understanding. Obviously, this woman isn’t.)

    Me: “I’m very sorry about that, ma’am. Would you like to reschedule your son’s appointment?”

    Caller: *ignoring me* “I just don’t understand why you would book us for an appointment when no one is going to be there! My son walked there by himself very early in the morning, and it’s very dangerous on the roads!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry about that, ma’am. We have open times this afternoon if you’d like to reschedule [Name]’s appointment.”

    Caller: “MY SON IS THREE YEARS OLD! HE SHOULDN’T BE THERE IF NO ONE ELSE IS!”

    Me: “If your son is three years old, why did he walk across dangerous, heavily-trafficked roads by himself?”

    Caller: “HOW DARE YOU, YOU LITTLE B****! I HOPE YOU DIE!” *click*

    Passes It No Sweat

    | Okotoks, AB, Canada | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Health & Body

    (A customer brings over a pair of wool socks and a large pack of toe warmers to my till. He is in his early twenties, but seems nice enough.)

    Me: “Getting ready for the cold weather? I heard it’s supposed to snow.”

    Customer: “No, it’s for a drug test.”

    (Thinking I didn’t hear right.)

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “They help me pass my drug test, every time.”

    Me: “…”

    How To Spot A Smoking Gun

    | Shrewsbury, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids

    (I manage a tobacco store and the law says we cannot sell any tobacco products to anyone under 18 and MUST card if customer looks under 30. A young girl and older woman enter store and at the door the young girl hands cash to older woman. Right away I know that she is underage and older woman is buying for her which is illegal. I know I cannot sell at this point but let them come in to see how it goes down.)

    Me: “Hello, how are you? What can I get for you today?”

    (Both stand there staring intently at the cigarette display without speaking. After a solid minute I ask the older woman:)

    Me: “What brand do you normally smoke?”

    (She turns to young girl and says:)

    Woman: “Well? What do you smoke?”

    (I immediately address the young girl and ask for I.D.)

    Woman: *very rudely* “I’m buying them, not her!”

    (I state that now I know she is buying for a minor I legally cannot sell either one cigarettes.)

    Girl: *starts screaming at woman* “Grandma! WHY DID YOU ASK ME THAT? Now I can’t get my smokes!”

    Vexed, Lies & Videotape

    | Tallahassee, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Wild & Unruly

    (I am sitting down with my friends at a cafe when some rather loud customers come in. I think they’ve been partying or something, because they won’t stop talking rather loudly and giggling.)

    Cashier: “What can I get you ladies?”

    Customer #1: “Well, you could stop dressing like a f****** emo for one.”

    (The cashier simply has dyed black hair and nails.)

    Cashier: “Please stop being rude.”

    Customer #2: “Err, no! It’s a free country. We can say what we like, you dumb b****!”

    Cashier: “Just stop this.”

    Customer #1: “No, get us [order] and get snappy about it, b****, or I’ll tell the manager you hit me!”

    Me: “That won’t work! We’ve been watching you!”

    Customer #2: “And what the h*** are you gonna do about it, b****? *walks up to me and throws my food on the floor* “Oh, look, you can’t do anything.”

    Me: “I can. I know there are cameras here.”

    Customer #2: “As. If. You. Slut.”

    Cashier: “I’m getting my manager. Hopefully he can sort you out and ban you from here.”

    Customer #3: “Oh, come on! We’re paying customers. You can’t throw us out.”

    Cashier: “It doesn’t matter; you’re causing a scene and you need to pay for that young woman’s food.”

    Customer #1: “As. F***.”

    (The manager comes from a back room and looks exhausted anyway so I don’t think he’ll even try to make the girls leave. I get up and go over just in case he needs help.)

    Customer #2: “Yeah, your cashier spat in my face, so I think we need a free meal.

    Manager: “The only thing you’re getting for free around here is a one-way ticket out of here. I’ve had a really hard time with lots of people are coming in for Christmas. I’ve been up all night and I really just don’t want any hassle.”

    Customer #3: “Well, don’t and don’t throw us out.”

    (The manager looks almost tired enough to give in. The cashier looks at him horrified as I take my turn.)

    Me: “The video cameras have enough footage of you insulting and being violent so I can just call the police right now and have them arrest you.”

    (The customers look truly scared. They begin to run, with the cashier and I trying to stop them getting out the door but they throw things from the tables at us, including dishes, vinegar and even chairs. I get a gash on my shoulder and the cashier is struck in the face but they get out.)

    Manager: “Don’t worry, I saw their licence.”

    (I saw later that they were arrested.)

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